you see im only 21 and he's 31 and he's never been married and has no kids ...well im ready for marage and kid's...we have lived togther for over a year and we are moving out of state togther so we can start a new relationship with just he and i (no family in the middle).he has told me before that he does want to marry me but not yet .... and he says we are together why do we need a paper to tell us that?what should i do just wait around and hope that one do he will ask???
2006-06-17 19:43:21 · 16 answers · asked by tinkerbell85 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is how I feel about "getting" a man to marry you... I would be insulted if I felt as though a guy was marrying me out of pressure or because he feels obligated. Best thing to do is talk about what you want and go for it with someone that wants the same things.
You are young, and you have plenty of time. If you are sure that this is a guy you can spend your life with and you believe that he really does want the same things you want - stick around for a while, stop the pressuring, and see where things go.
If things don't work out, then next time, make sure that you have someone that wants the same out of life as you do, and within the same genera time frame, before you get too involved.
2006-06-17 21:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Snark 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should talk to him about it. Tell him why you're ready to start a family right now and why you want to be married, and then address whatever concerns he might have. Maybe he doesn't think the two of you are financially ready to have a family, and that's why he's hesitant. Maybe he's been burned in long-term relationships before and needs more time than a year and a half. Maybe he doesn't think it's right to get married to someone so young after a relatively short relationship (a year and a half is really not that long in the grand scheme of things). There are any number of reasons why he may not want to get married, and you can only find out what the issue is here by asking him.
You should also keep in mind that marriage should happen when *both* people want it and are ready. You don't want to go into it when you're gung ho over it and he's being pressured and pushed---that's a bad way to start a marriage. If you're really in this for the long haul, you'll wait until he's ready and give serious consideration to his concerns. You should also look at why *you* want to get married so badly. Are you afraid of losing him? Are you confused about what you want to do with your life? Or is this what you truly want? Marriage is for the rest of your life, so there's no harm in taking it slow and giving a thorough examination to the motivations of both of you.
2006-06-18 02:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by apropos2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer to this would be this: let him take some time and think it over. Marriage is a big step, and I'm sure when the time is right he will ask. Don't keep pushing the marriage factor in there, you may just irritate him and make him think you're rushing him. Guys don't like that. He loves you, keep that in mind. He did say he would marry you but not yet, that means when he does get around to asking you, he wants it to be perfect moment. Give or take hun, ride with the wind and you never know he could ask when you're all settled in your new home in a different state.
2006-06-18 02:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only 21. You've been together for a year and a half, give it some more time. Nowadays, almost half of marriages ultimately end in divorce. You should be 100% sure that this is the guy that you want to be with for the rest of your life before you take the marriage route.
2006-06-18 02:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 21 and now realize that I should have waited longer--not that I would have married someone else--it is just that marriage is a lot harder than you EVER think it is. You don't realize it yet, but a few more years under your belt will really make a difference in the quality of your marriage.
2006-06-18 02:49:44 · answer #5 · answered by Legal_Beagle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him do something he is not ready to do. I would think you would want him to marry you when he is ready not when you tell him to be ready. I am sure it is hard waiting, but you will if you think he is worth it. You are still kind of young. Just enjoy being together whether you are married or not. You still have ALOT of time to make BIG decisions.
2006-06-18 03:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by pinkroses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a while longer, figure out if marriage would be the right thing... if he doesn't end up asking. Then hell... pop the question yourself. If he says no, that he wants to wait or whatever... then you two should talk things over. Like about what you two want, your feelings and such... hey.... my age is your age... only backwards! ^_^ (hopefully that doesn't make you feel old or anything ... >.<)
2006-06-18 02:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 21...you have your whole life to be married to someone...why not live for today...if he says he wants to marry you then...let him pop the question...don't pressure him about it...maybe he feels like you are not ready...so just be patient...
2006-06-18 02:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by j_nelle_03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah though it sucks if you inticiate it in any way everytime something goes wrong in the relationship it will come back to the fact you "pushed him into it " I know this from exprience, this does not mean that you should not be honest and clue him in to how you feel and what you want............... good luck
2006-06-18 02:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by sexyandsingle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep waiting. He will eventually marry you, just like he will eventually take out the trash when you ask him to...
2006-06-18 03:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by slick_pavement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋