I have tried to reconsile since January. She changes her mind and when she feels secure in her career she talks about getting back together. At other times she is dead set against a reconsiliation as she says she does not view me as a husband any more. Several months ago before taking her second term positiion she told me she loved me. It must have slipt out. She is warm and cold. She is concerned about her career in teaching. I love her and I miss her a lot. I have sublet an appartment to be near where she lives. I want us to seek counselling or talk to someone. I think it is a good decision to go and actually see her face to face and let her will be her will. I love her very much and miss her badly it hurts. Do you think going there and making contact is a good idea... does anyone else have any other ideas..telephone calls don't go over too well and she hates mail.
I know I posted a similar question but I need some kind of confirmation please?
2006-06-17 19:37:01 · 20 answers · asked by woblyknobit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
~If your self-pity is as bad when you talk to her as when you post a question to complete strangers, give it up. Best advice for you is "become better acquainted with your hand because you've got no chance in a relationship with anything breathing with a brain".
I once had a similar problem, but then I turned 14. You could try the same.
2006-06-29 16:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her. She feels that if the two of you get back together then she will have to give up her career, move there, find a job there, show her that she is the most important thing in your life and making her happy will make you happy. She loves you, you know that because she has said it, when a women says I love you it is never a slip of the tong, they really mean it. A face to face is always the best, you two have been away from one another for a long time and being able to see each other for the first time in months will make the relationship feel new, and the feelings will be brought back into play. If these things do not happen then she has moved on and was never the person for you. I know it will hurt in the beginning but you will move on in time and be able to find that person to share your soul with, your everything with. But I do think that she still loves you, from the way you talk she just needs to see the love from you. I hope nothing but the best for you and your relationship, and hope the two of you work out because I know you do love her with all your heart. GOOD LUCK and have a safe trip.
2006-07-01 19:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by justalilbirdie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar situation, so take this for what it's worth, cause I don't know how it will come out yet...but here it goes. Ultimately, you have to show confidence and stay strong. I'm not saying that will work because the career may be her what she wants more than a family or marriage. You have to remember that as much as you love her and as wonderful as she is...there are many, MANY women out there who will provide you the same fulfillment in a relationship, and most likely even a greater sense of joy. I'm struggling with that same thing right now and you know who helped me understand a lot of this? My wife....
2006-07-01 18:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by 1n51ght 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is did both of you discuss this before she took the position.? If you didn't and she decided on her own then I say let her go because she does not care about the relationship at all just her career. Both of you should have talked about it before she made such a major decision. If not then I say move on. You deserve better than having your "wife ?" treating you like your not marrried.If you keep chasing her,she will keep strnging you along like she is doing and you are the one who is being a fool for allowing it. Divorce her and start over so you can start healing and find someone else who derserves you.
2006-07-01 13:52:55 · answer #4 · answered by copperfish310 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want you back either. Why is it when the man gets an out of town job the wife is supposed to move and be supportive but not the other way around? She is probably really hurt and angry and has every right. If a man is concerned with his career it's ok but not the woman? Gimme a break.
2006-07-01 08:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think face to face would be good but you have to be ready for face to face rejection. It sounds like your wife is soul searching and maybe needs time to flesh things out. Are there children?
Things of this magnitude should not be done long distance - they should not be done over the phone. I'm for face to face..but if once you talk to her and hash it out in person - if she says she doesn't want to be married anymore - I'd say your piece - that you love her - and tell her if she changes her mind you'll be there but only for a little while - because eventually you will have to get on with your life. She may not have thought about that...
Best of luck!
2006-07-01 02:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got a goodie there fellow. I'm retired now but can still remember women like those when I was still working. They nick-named them PB's..."Professional Bitches". They are strictly women who have nothing in mind but a successful career and absolutely nothing is going to stand in their way. Miss her? If I were you I would miss her for one day and go looking for a REAL woman to take her place. A Real woman is looking for the love of a man, a home, and children, not a job where she can act like a man in a suit and devote her entire life to a job. Move on buddy, you deserve better then that.
2006-06-28 03:47:25 · answer #7 · answered by AL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stop chasing after her. You've made your feeling clear to her. If she loves you she'll find her way back to you. Meanwhile, work on YOU! Take care of yourself. Find your own interests. Work on your own career. Date. Get out and live life and stop being so lonely. You can control you own destiny. Being emotionally needy and pining away are not attractive qualities and it's self indulgent. Stand up, brush yourself off and get back in the game of life! Watch....she see that , she'll come running! or if not, someone really cool will! Good Luck!
2006-06-30 09:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by lade40free 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you can go over to her to talk things over in order to satisfy your curiosity. but i think she doesn't care for you as much as she cares for her career. I f a woman or man sets her career before her marriage or her partner, then he or she has sets her priority wrongly. it is clearly written on the wall that she is only toying with your emotions. i would advise you more on with your life and find someone that will reciprocate your love.
back in school there was a popular saying amongst the girls "an unreciprocated love is a burden". i think you are being a burden onto her.
good luck
2006-06-29 03:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by minny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why a legal separation was needed because she had to teach. This does not sound right to me at all. You were married--loved each other, but separated because of a move and job? Really, if you love her, tell her. If you want a marriage with her, tell her that. If she doesn't want a marriage, move forward.
2006-06-29 17:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mindee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋