I have been married for about 2 years, we have no kids, our own house, good jobs etc. We are youg 20 and 21. I got married for the wrong reasons. I didn't want to get married but I was scared to tell her I didn't want to be with her, so I followed through anyways. I am not attracted to her, she is lazy, likes to eat, watch tv, and sit all day. I like to stay busy, I try to get her involved but she complains the whole time. She makes me feel guilty everytime I get a day off and she works. Especially if I go visit my parents 5 minues away....I dont know what to do. I want to go back to school, she doesn't want me too. It only betters me.
2006-06-17 19:23:28 · 15 answers · asked by jmseymour1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You already know the answer. Getting married young brings on a lot of problems. At that age you still have so much left to discover. If you want out, then go. Its easier when you dont have kids. It might hurt and she might cry, but never stay in a loveless marriage. I got married at 22 and knew it wouldnt last. I stayed for 2 1/2 years and finally I couldnt do it anymore. In the end we both agreed we were better friends and the divorce was easy. We did uncontested and did it ourselves, no lawyers. If you want to be the one to walk away, let her have whatever she wants with the house. All I took when i left was my clothes and anything i came into the marriage with. Everything else I left for him.
Good luck, follow your heart. Get out before she gets pregnant, then you will feel obligated to stay. NEVER have a baby thinking it will make your marriage better.
2006-06-17 19:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by southrntrnzplnt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
From what I hear, you have already answered your own question. It doesn't sound like you really love this person anymore. But I am not saying you should give up just because you have recent problems. Ask yourself where do you see yourself in 10, 20, and 30 years. Do you see yourself accomplishing your goals with this person?
You are still young. Think things through because you only get so many second chances. Once you have children everything changes. I've had many beautiful and wealthy women come my way. I am 28 and had many chances to tie the knot. But I always held out for one reason and one reason only. That reason was the fact that I believe that marriage is once in a lifetime only. Not for religious reason, but because I really feel that once you give your whole heart to someone, you can never really get it all back.
And when you have kids, do you really want to split the family up? Ask yourself these things and think everything through very clearly.
Hope this helps....
2006-06-18 02:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by NeverLoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES.....leave her!!! She is selfish. Move on!! If you are not happy now you will definitely NOT be happy later!!! Plus age 21-24 are the best times of your life....when your single!!! You have plenty of time to get married. I'm 27 and single and fine. I thought I was in love with someone at the age of 21 and now I look back and laugh!!! Don't ever let someone hold you back from your dreams. She DOESN'T WANT YOU TO GO TO SCHOOL!!! What the hell kind of shi@ is that. Leave her ASAP!
2006-06-18 13:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by lk7916 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you married grudgingly, then you made a BIG mistake!
No matter your age, a person should NEVER stay if they are unhappy. This life is too short to spend WISHING you had done something else. I'm ALL for marriages staying together, but it's not healthy for either of you to be in an unhappy marriage. If one is unhappy, it affects both!
Talk to her. If you don't love her, leave her & remain friends. If you DO love her, stay with her and work out your differences.
2006-06-18 02:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jasmine Lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should of been honest with her in the begining. Tell her how you feel, and if she cant support that you want to go to school, then you dont need her, because looks like she is basically putting you down. try communicating with her, if you still want to be married, go out and do things together.
2006-06-18 02:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I have to ask why you did it to begin with if you didn't love her. That was cruel! But, now that it's done and she doesn't want you to better yourself, the only thing I can think of that you can do, is tell her the truth! Talk to her and ask her if she's as miserable as you are. If so, then agree to be divorced and be very reasonable about it!! Good Luck and God Bless You Both!!
2006-06-18 02:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by americanhousewife2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. Life's too short to spend it being unhappy or will someone you don't even want to be with. You'll be better off without her, you don't sound like you're compatible.
2006-06-18 03:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS AND AM GETTING DIVORCED THIS SUMMER. WE WERE INLOVE THE WHOLE 9 AND AFTER TWO KIDS AND A DRUG ADDICTION WE NEED TO BE APART. SO IF YOU ARE STARTING WHERE YOU ARE TRULY THE ODDS ARE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE GOING TO NATURALLY START LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE (INSTINCT) AND YOU WILL HURT HER DEEPLY IF YOU CHEAT. THINK, THINK, THINK!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-06-18 02:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's exactly the reason she married you. scared to say no.
now she is struggling to find a future.
the pressure to marry and settle is gone, she now needs to find a reason to live.
pregnancy may help.
2006-06-18 05:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, no kids, get outta there, it is only going to be compiled,(her lazyness) once you have children, get out now, now, now find the one that your ment to be with dont waist time with someone just because they guilted you into it by being so pathetic
2006-06-18 04:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by reprobate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋