My boyfriend joined the army and left for basic training a week ago. We have been together for 7 months. I am in love with him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don't know if I can handle being away from him for months at a time. If he gets deployed he'll be gone for up to a year. If you guys were in my shoes would you stay with the person, or would it be too hard for you?
2006-06-17 19:20:00 · 8 answers · asked by Love My Soldier 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok....speaking from experience and going through a deployment with my guy. Me and my guy have been together for almost a year but dated previously in the past.
DONT break up with him, he needs you to be there for him. Yes its hard suffering through the deployments but you can get through it trust me on this. There will be down falls along with upsides. Seperation makes the heart grow fonder and you will experience this if you give it a chance. Coming aboard the military world is different from the civilian world, its different and I can't even tell you how much you can learn. It can take you to a lot of different places and you'll meet all sorts of new friends and people. Being a military girlfriend/wife isn't easy. The trick to making it through is always REMAIN BUSY. You will cry and you will feel that you just can't take it. But keep in mind it's not his choice if he deploys and he loves you and he doesn't want to leave you. He doesnt have a choice in the matter. Once he makes it through OSUT/AIT, they will hold a ceremony go to it, you recieve additional information on support groups and little things that can keep you up to date on whats happening and etc with his unit. Hang in there girl, keep your head up and remember ALWAYS he loves you and he's looking to you mainly for his support.
2006-06-17 21:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
You don't say how old you are but I'm guessing somewhere between 18 and 20? Anyway, listen to your heart but know that if you stay with him you MUST support him while he is gone and stay loyal and true. If you have any shred of doubt you must break it off as soon as you can. It will not be fair to send him off to a war zone and dump him or have him over there wondering if you are home happily waiting for him. That will cause him to lose his focus and you don't want that. That happened to my daughter and she was working as a convoy gunner. Her boyfriend dumped her via a phone call home when she only had one month to go. She was confused, angry and helpless to do anything about it. Her team rallied around her and made her understand that she needed to keep sharp and keep the personal life separate. She is now home and very angry at her ex. She says it was hard to do her job but she knew she had to. She is very angry at him for doing it the way he did and as she says almost making her lose her head while she had a mission to do. So you need to be fair to your boyfriend. If you have doubts, TELL HIM. Do not be selfish in this. He has feelings and deserves to know. Besides, if you talk about it openly, it might help you make your decision. Good Luck and remember to always be true to yourself cause life is way too short.
2006-06-18 13:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to my husband for 3 months, together for a year when he joined the Army. Our son was 18 days old when he left for 6 months. His longest deployment was 25.5 months! In the 8 years he was in the Army, he was in the field or deployed around 4 years of it. If you REALLY love him, you adjust! I was 17 and he was 19 when we started dating. We are now 27 & 29 and still just as much in love as when we met. Follow your heart. It's amazing how well you can adapt to difficult situations.
2006-06-17 21:06:25 · answer #3 · answered by sumnerrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is married to a marine and has been for 8 years and he is currently deployed to Iraq and will be until Feb (left past Jan) it is hard on her but she is strong. They have 3 children together. To be in a relationship with a serviceman you have to have strength. I wont lie it is hard but with support from family and friends it is possible. They talk 3 or 4 times a week and constantly exchange emails so it is possible. You just need to ask yourself are you and your Beau strong enough for this. If not then it wont last if so you can make it. Good luck!!!
2006-06-17 19:34:54 · answer #4 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I can't do it...I was happy when my hubby got out of the military when we met cause I knew I couldn't handle it. (he's been gone for 3 months for a job and man it's lonely ) But my parents... married for 30 yrs..my dad serve the military for his full twenty. There were a lot of ups and downs but they made it through.
It all depends on that person..just let him know of ur fears and trust me...he'll tell u whats hes scare of too. It does help....that's how I'm handling my hubby's absence. It's hard and it's scary but if ur strong enough, its gonna work. Good Luck hun..
2006-06-17 19:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was in your shoes i would stay right by his side and support him no matter what even if he was gone for a year.
2006-06-17 19:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by RedneckCuitie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some do some dont depends on the man as well as the woman called commitment... my opion///
2006-06-17 19:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope so.
2006-06-17 19:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by whoremonger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋