2006-06-17 18:26:50 · 71 answers · asked by sleepless07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes he loves you, but he doesn't know how to treat a woman right!
This probably stems from his childhood, but it's still no excuse!
Are there children between you two?
That's the heart-wrenching part though!
Why do you stay?
Do you feel sorry for him?
You believe him when he says sorry? You believe he'll change!
...But you know what, he won't - really, he won't!
Are you staying for the kids sake?
One thing to remember... if you do stay for the kids sake, but intend to leave him later, you won't because you both will be old, and you'll feel sorry for him if you leave...
You need to ask yourself, are you happy (forget the SOMETIMES)
Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years from now?
Stop any day-dreaming and seriously consider my above points.
Where are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve them?
Now, is his involvement as strong as yours?
If not, then re-consider the relationship!
2006-06-17 18:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by mary_not_cathy 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
No, he is not capable of love if he is abusive...but he is capable of guilt and regret which is why he tells you he loves you. He can only love you if he gets help dealing with the anger he takes out on you.
The next time it happens, you need to run to a neighbor's house and call the police. They will arrest him and you can get a restraining order and file for divorce. I am concerned about his comments on not being able to live without you and that he may end up killing you if you don't protect yourself.
I understand that you may feel he is a good person at times but that is just how an abusive relationship works. They abuse you and worry that you will leave them and say everything they can to keep you...but that wears off at some point and they do it again and again, until you stop the cycle.
I also recommend that you get in touch with a support group for abused women and if you have insurance, see a psychologist. There is a reason why you are attracted to him and allow him to continue hurting you and it's not healthy. You are a woman worthy of love and respect and you should be in a relationship with someone who can provide that.
Not to mention that if you have children now or plan to have children, they will think that this is normal. Your son's will abuse and your daughters will be abused.
Good luck and please get out before he kills you.
2006-06-17 18:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will speek as a person with expression issues when i'm angry, first, i am a woman, not a man, and in no way do i think it is okay to hit a woman for any reason, however therapy may make things much better over time if you think that its worth the effort. if he has EVER made you fear for your life, i would strongly recomend working on it from seperate homes.
i yell, a lot when i'm upset, say hurtfull things that i cant take back, its part of bipolar, not saying thats what is wrong with your man, he could have seen his dad beat his mom all the time when he was a kid, people tend to mimic what they see at least to some level.i dont know what hes like, if hes the good guy with a mean streak, or the meanstreak all by itself, assess the worth of your relationship and deside if you want to suggest help to him, stay with him through that prossess, ect...staying with someone through any problem like this is a very long bumpy ride, do some research on helping abusive men through therapy, or something like that, you should find some info, then ask yourself...is this guy worth my effort? ask yourself this...if the only thing you did was remove the abuse, would it all be different?
2006-06-17 18:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not true.. he has no respect for you whatsoever. Move on and tell him to get a life! An abusive partner will forever be abusive!=) Go find another mate that would truly deserve your love. he being abusive will just lower your self-esteem. I was once an abused girlfriend but through webdatedotcom I was able to recover and have a lot of friends.
2006-06-17 18:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by michelle s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is completely possible. Maybe he does love you and maybe he cant live without you. What you need to ask your self is how much more you can take before he decides he would rater kill you then think about letting you go. Abusive men are generally paranoid. they always suspect that a woman has done something even when she hasn't. (Over 90% of murder-suicides involving couples are perpetrated by the man. 19-26% of male spouse-murderers committed suicide.) If you leave him he will find a way to go on, If you stay will you be just another statistic?
2006-06-23 12:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pretty much answered your question. You know that your husband is abusive. That tells you everything. You need to open up your eyes and ask your self do you love yourself to stay in this kind of relationship. Another thing that you need to consider is if you have children..... Do you want your children to repeat the cycle with their families and/or do you want them to be with an abuser??? No, he doesn't love you!!!! He doesn't Love himself otherwise he wouldn't be subjecting you to this type of torment. A person wants to hear that they are loved and wants to be told that they can't be lived without. It's a trap.
2006-06-17 18:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is typical of an abusive relationship. They act out, then later get all apologetic and tell you you're their world or something else like that. Do yourself a favour, especially if he is physically abusive: call a women's shelter, ask to speak to someone or get a referal to someone you can talk to about this. Abusers don't get better without help, and often they get worse.
2006-06-17 18:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!.........I hope that you've already packed your bags, and left the house. Please don't stay in a abusive relationship........A lot of women always say, that they're staying in it for the kids, or that, "My husband doesn't mean to be abusive, he's just under a lot of pressure".
The only way that he can show you, that he really loves you, is by getting some serious counseling & staying away from you.
Good Luck
2006-06-17 18:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Spongebob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to abuse himself instead of u if he truely loves you... then you can't live without him just like he does and loves him back as much. There is then the possibility.
2006-06-18 13:24:01 · answer #9 · answered by lolitakali 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't really love you. He simply desires you. He likes the fact that you put up with all his crap and he knows that nobody else will. He's trying to guilt you because it's just another way he's trying to control you. That's also why he's abusive probably - to make you feel bad and like you don't deserve any better.
2006-06-17 18:44:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, get out NOW!! There is no way a mna loves you if he's abusive to you. He is pulling a power play here, and appealing to the kind heart of a woman. Do what you need to do to get yourself out and eventually you can find a man who will love you and treat you with kindness. Remember, Love Dosen't Hurt!! Good luck...& peace & blessings to you!
2006-06-17 18:31:07 · answer #11 · answered by taraleighsg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋