i cheated on my husband.. he cheated on me and now has a child from the affair. We both have turned back to one another and want to work our marriage out.. but he still cant get over the fact that i was with another man. Is this just a manly pride issue that will pass, or is it impossible for a man to get over an unfaithful woman?
2006-06-17 17:39:48 · 10 answers · asked by ExplodeDesigns.com 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes you can!! So many, many people do. However, it will be a lot of work and require patience b/c you are bound to have the old feelings rise up again. The most important thing is that you need a good counselor to help you thru this period. A counselor will be your independent person to help you both get back to the most important thing in your life--your marriage!
2006-06-17 17:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a pride issue, it is a trust issue and once trust is lost it is extremely difficult to restore. This does vary from person to person but in general. it will take a very long time to regain, if ever. Normal innocent events or mild flirtations are cause for much more suspicion. That is just a human reaction.
It is not just a manly pride issue! It is possible for either sex to lose trust with a father, mother, sister, brother, son, daughter, a priest, a teacher, a friend or anyone else who has betrayed a trust. Would you ever be able to completely forget it if someone you trusted betrayed you? You might be able to forgive and learn to live with it but how long would it take you to completely trust that person again? Some relationships can survive without complete trust, but each person has a need to know exactly what degree of trust they have and can live with.
2006-06-18 01:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by Wascal Wabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have been this way since the beginning of time.It is easier for a woman to forgive a man than for a man to forgive a woman. The man can be unfaithful 10 times and expects to be forgiven while he can only handle one affair from the wife if that.
2006-06-18 07:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by Tiny Jr. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering the mistakes that the two of you have made in the past, you guys should consider counseling. There have been some serious trust issues violated here. Don't try to work it out without professional assistance. The issues are so much deeper than you think. I believe your marriage can be savaged, but it is going to take a lot of work from both of you. Good Luck!
2006-06-18 00:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a similar position, I think if the man really wants to be in a relationship with you he will forgive and forget. A relationship is based on trust and communication is the main key. Your husband will get over this, you need to be there for him in this time but at the same time he needs to wise up, he has done the same thing to you. Be friends first, get to know one another, then try to explore the relationship a little more.
2006-06-18 00:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No nothing is impossible. I personally feel that the boundaries of a marriage should be as endless as the universe. People make mistakes. The first question is are you truly sorry for what you did or do your issues that caused you to slip still exist. Be honest with yourself. If not then forgive yourself. Be willing to accept the humility of what you have done to him and allow him to vent at you but stop it at any type of verbal abuse because that is unproductive. Explain to him that his forgiveness is all that you seek and that you will abide by his wishes good or bad. Your actions will speak louder than words and resistance to any reasonable types of penance would tell him that you don't care how he feels about what you have done and you probably would do it again. A disrespected man is a broken man and he needs to feel respected most of all. We are built up of ego from head to toe. He probably feels like he is the one with his tail between his legs instead of you. You need to do something to lift his head up.
I am currently going through something similar with my wife. But even though I feel like a fool trusting her I gave my vows before God and a congregation that nothing but death would make me give up on her. So all I have is hope and faith that we can work this out. I am willing to do whatever. Many friends and family have given their opinions that she isn't worth it and it won't work etc. But I feel their love for whoever they are with is only based on what they are getting not on what they are willing to give. It takes two. Good luck, my prayers are with you both.
2006-06-18 01:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by adtrademarketentry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that the fact the both of you cheated is because you don't care about eachother. if he cheated you had to show him that your better than that not cheat too. anyway i don't think you can trust him after he cheated so how can he trust you.
2006-06-18 00:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by LINDA H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you guys shouldn't have cheated each other in the first place. I suggest divorce.
2006-06-18 00:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS VERY HARD AND THE ONLY WAY YOU REALLY CAN IS THROUGH SERIOUS PRAYER AND SHE HAS TO PROVE HER LOVE IF SHE DOES NOT THEN IT IS EVEN HARDER JUST PRAY IF ITS FOR YOU IT WILL BE IF NOT THEN YOU NO THE REST.
2006-06-18 00:45:17 · answer #9 · answered by Justin D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will never really trust you as for what you did i am basing this on fact. my opion no he wont .?
2006-06-18 00:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋