My heart is broken...mature adults please?

Question

I have had my heart broke by the love of my life. I am 43 and have never been married and I am a miserable mess. Parts of me have been ripped out of me and I have no interest in things that I have always been interested in. I think about her all the time and find myself fantasizing over what was good. I poured my heart, soul and life out to her yet I am not good enough and she will not explain statements she has made and avoids discussing things to which I deserve answers. Please believe me that this is about far more than sex. I have NEVER felt this way about anyone in my life.

Answer 1

Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.

At your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.

When did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you. A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on.

What can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect.

Good luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.

Answer 2

Love is tough-and there is no definite answers to ease your pain. You are going to feel like this because this is what love does. If you have never felt love, you would not feel this pain at all. It is better that you feel it and appreciate that you have been in love than not. Time will heal--as painful and hard as it may seem. Try to fill the void that you are now feeling with positive things such as hobbies and projects that you have been putting off completing. These things that you start doing will keep you occupied and will become almost therapeutic.
Next it is a good time to do a self assessment. What are some things could have been different? Also, look at why you two were together in the first place. Were there warning signs that you ignored because of "love"? Was she the best kind of girl for a long lasting relationship--someone that your family loves and is happy to have as a family member. These are all things that you will have to address before you start a new relationship down the road. No time is better than now-- it will help the healing process to start versus just concentrating on feeling pain, loss and sorrow.

Answer 3

Who said you were not good enough, her or is that your thinking? Why did the relationship end? Was she looking for marriage and you were afraid to commit? Did you want to marry and she was not ready? Was there a big age difference? Too many unknowns here. But, if you are a member of a church, club or group, throw yourself into it to fill your time and mind to help heal and move on. Let your friends know you are single again, and try a blind date, it may not go great at first, but time will heal all wounds, so long as you do something to move on with your life.

Answer 4

Aww, I'm so sorry about your predicament. But what you are going through is very real and your profound sadness is creatinga severe depression in you. You have the normal symptoms, disliking things you always likes, sadness, melancholy over past issues, and of course your not twenty anymore. But don't worry try to forget about her and start doing new things or hanging out with friends and going out to clubs, parties, whatever...She's obviously not the one for you no amtter what you may feel still. So its best to leave her alone and find you a decent someone that feels the same way that you feel about her. No one is great enough for you to be mentally unstable about. If you still feel down go to your family doctor and they can always prescribe you a small dosage of zoloft or whatever else those pills are called. God Bless and smile everything will be okay, trust me your talking to someone that has gone through a world of ****!!!

Answer 5

only a woman - little doubt: Take this pink ribbon off my eyes i'm uncovered And it really isn't any large wonder do not you imagine i understand precisely the position I stand This international is forcing me to carry your hand 'reason i'm only a woman, little 'ol me do not let me out of your sight i'm only a woman, all particularly and petite So do not let me have any rights BQ: Throwing the Impulse change BQ2: Earphones, I in reality use headphones on planes. BQ3: a million. Cherry Bomb - The Runaways 2. lost reason - Oleander 3. Deadbeat holiday - eco-friendly Day 4. Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs 5. The chemical compounds between Us - Bush

Answer 6

I can just only imagine the pain you are going through. I can only tell you from past experience that life does go on. I know that right now this does not make since to you. But you will bounce back and things will return to some normalcy. Life is to short, so go out a live your life to the fullest. Life is full of surprise so go and discover them. But only when you are ready, do not take too long. Good Luck.....

Answer 7

Believe me you are not the only one who has has their heart ripped out and stomped on. Get rid of all memorabilia that reminds you of you together with her, photos, keepsakes ect, all of it. Get into some mind and time consuming projects, if you can take a vacation in a nice quiet place not one for couples. Put a mental picture in you mind of the moment you felt hurt and sick, keep it handy for when you start thinking of the good ole times and start missing her, bring that to mind and tell yourself, I deserve a lot better. Good luck, it's cliche but time will make it less painful.

Answer 8

Women are for sex and not much else.

You lied to yourself about this situation and pretended otherwise and now you are paying the price. Only one woman in a hundred is sane enough for a monogamous long term relationship and only one percent of those are capable of holding up their end of a marriage. The other 99.99% of women are for sex and not much else. Note that ALL women say differently. But most women know that what I am saying is true. Further, they are cool with it. If you tell a woman that you only want her for sex because, in your opinion, most women simply aren't suitable for marriage, far from getting a negative response, they will agree and have a sex only relationship with you.

Answer 9

I know how this feels, i've been in the same kind of situation..believe me u need to try v v hard to get out of it...its better to forget and move on...i'm sure u'll find the right one...i know its not tht easy i say over here, but as a start..remove the phone # of her's from u'r mobile, remove all the gifts or any of the things which make her remind of her, try to keep yourself busy..catch along with u'r friends,,,spend time with them...try to have fun with the ppl u like the most...dont try to be alone or sit idle, cause when u do tht, the same memories would be revolving around u and u can never come out of tht circle..it took me months to get out of the gal i loved, but i did come out of it and it feels perfectly alright and better tht it was good i'm out of it...my prayers are with u.

Answer 10

I am so sorry you are going through this. The only advice I have is to try everything you can think of to get her back. If you already have and she has made up her mind indefinitely than there is nothing left for you to do. It is hard moving on after something like this, I know I am kinda going through it too. Just take it one day at a time. (((Hugs)))