im about to turn 18 he is way older than me... my mother hates him and i didnt graduate from highschool but i absolutely adore him and we are engaged.
2006-06-17 16:11:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you move in with your boyfriend, you will still have problems with your mother... Moving out isn't going to solve anything! Why not work on the problems with your mother first. If nothing gets resolved, then get a job and move out on your own. Why be dependent on someone...unless that's what you prefer to do and they don't mind supporting you. However, If you move in with your boyfriend, he may change his mind about marriage since he'd already have you there with him all the time--it would give him NO incentive to make the long-term commitment. Besides, if you're willing to work on the problems with your mother (rather than run away from them), you'll be more committed to working on any problems you have in your relationship with your fiance!
2006-06-17 16:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your solution has nothing to do with your problem. It may sound logical but It will just create more problems. However, living with someone is a serious situation. It requires a lot. You said that your man is much older. I don't mean to sound harsh but older men who choose very young ladies do so because they feel that they can control the relationship. This is no reflection of you so don't take it personally. If he is a secure and mature older man he will encourage you to find a way to cope with your mother that is healthy for you. If he encourages you to leave home,.....beware...that's a red flag honey! I have had Mama issues for a very long time and i wish that i would've realized some things at your age. KNOW this, ... most times it is so NOT about you. It is their own stuff that they haven't learned how to work through. Don't take it on to mean something about you. You can still choose Who You Want to Be in every moment. Speak to an older person whom you respect and whom you can trust and ask them for advice. I'm not against living with someone but it doesn't have to be the person you're dating. And if it is, make sure that you both are doing it because you are either working towards a committed future together or neither of you care about a long-term future together and are just living for the moment. i.e Make sure that you are on the same page. Good luck.
2006-06-21 17:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are asking for mucho trouble. Your mother may have a lot more insight than you give her credit for (been there, done that). Ask yourself some questions:
1- Can he support you in the manner to which you are accustomed?
2- Will you live in a place that is AT LEAST as nice as where you live now
3- What responsibilities will YOU have that you don't have now? (laundry for both of you), dishes, cleaning, plus working
4- Does he have a steady job that he has been at for a long period and is he likely to stay there?
5- What will happen if you get pregnant?
6- If he walks out what would you be able to do--could you handle it financially, emotionally?
I don't care if you are 18, and you have problems with your mother you HAVE to think about all of these options.
PS--Go get a GED or your diploma--you will need it, trust me.
2006-06-17 16:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a bad idea, if you havent graduated high school how will you ever earn a living..letting this guy support you...you cant bank on that or you'll end up back at moms with nothing but wasted time. 18 is so very young to get married, trust me you'll feel like an entirely different person by 20 and feel very tied down.It may not seem it but your mother truly wants the best for you and right now I'd be very worried for you if you were my kid.Maybe she'd approve of the guy more if you moved in with him and finished HS
2006-06-17 16:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like me not too long ago! except my parents liked my bf. we are now married and I am having a baby soon. BUT you have to think of how this will affect your future. What kind of problems are you having with your mom? because if you move out on bad terms, it's hard to ever fix that. How stable is your relationship with your bf, cuz if you leave on bad terms with your family and then things fall through with your bf, you will have no where to go. you need your family as a support, and so the best advice I can give is to try to smooth things over with your mom and maybe stick it out till you're 18, things should get way easier then! :)
2006-06-17 16:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound like your mom (I'm sure), but here goes- DON'T DO IT! You're way too young to be getting married. Get back in school or at least get your GED while you live for free at your mom's house. If you move out with your boyfriend and it doesn't work out, how will you live on minimum wage? Please think about putting up with your mom for a while and get some more education. If he really is the one, he'll wait for you.
2006-06-17 16:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Spillski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out from your parents, but live by yourself or with another girl(s).
I've NEVER seen a move-in (shack-up) work! Sorry.
Live away from him, and continue dating him. Have fun & then you go back to your house & he goes back to his house. MUCH SANER that way.
Then you can get back together the next day.
2006-06-17 16:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by John C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have your whole life ahead of you. If he loves you he will wait until you do something with your life first and then hook up. Talk to your mom, don't disrespect her, but let her know that she isn't making it easy on you. Try and keep the peace, believe me you will have regrets if you move in with him. Do something for yourself, not for your mom, not for your boyfriend.Do something with your life. what is he doing with his life? Is he ready to support you? Are you ready to support him? Financially ?
2006-06-17 16:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by smart007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say stay with your mom because you don't know if he is always going to be there for you or not but you know that your mom loves you even if you don't see that now but she will always be there for you so please don't do it and listen to your mother.
2006-06-17 16:20:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it , make peace with ur mom and give her time to except him and go back to school
2006-06-17 16:15:06 · answer #10 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋