tell me ur BEST jokes?

Question

they better b good no repeats

Answer 1

An Amish family goes to the mall for the first time. The son and the father are standing over by the elevators. They watch a man push an old woman in a wheelchair into the elevator, and the door shuts. A minute later, a hot blonde walks out. The son says to his father, "What is that thing?" His father says, "I don't know, but go get your mother."

Answer 2

Probably heard this one...but...

There are 6 people on a plane, and 5 parachutes. The pilot, the actor, Bill gates, Hillary Clinton, a father, and a son. Eventually, while flying, the engines overheat, and they are about to crash. So there are 4 parachutes, and the pilot takes one, saying he is needed to fly people from place to place.

Next, the actor takes a parachute and says "I am famous, and I need to star in movies. People need me for their entertainment!"

Then, Bill Gates takes a parachute and says "I may be a college dropout, but I still own a huge corporation! People need me to make software and computers to help them in everyday lives!"

Then Hillary Clinton takes a Parachute and says: "I'm not only an anti-video game advocate, and a wife of a president, but a congresswoman too! And, I am one of the most highly intelligent people in the world!"

Then, the Father says to the son, "Son, I don't want you to die young so," *sob,* "Take the last parachute."

Then the son replies, "Takes OK dad. Hillary Clinton took my luggage case."

Answer 3

O k If a blond and a brunette jump off a bridge who hits the water first?

The brunette the blond had to ask for directions 3 times.

I hope this made you laugh.

Answer 4

One morning Bob woke up with a painful erection that was so hard it actually hurt him. He noticed his penis had grown and with his measuring take found out it grew ½ an inch longer and ¼ of an inch thicker. At that moment his wife Karen woke up and with a big smile said, “Honey you got it like that for me! Let’s go!” And they made love.

The next morning Bob woke up with the same pain. He noticed it grew and when he measured it again it was another ½ inch longer and ¼ of an inch thicker. Karen woke up and saw her husband’s penis was even bigger and said with an even bigger smile, “Come on Baby. It’s time for you to put it to work!” They made love again.

The following morning Bob woke up again with the same pain and found his penis had grown even bigger and thicker. Without waking Karen he drove quickly to the nearest hospital and saw a specialist. The doctor examined him and said, “Bob you have a very rare condition in your prostate that is causing your erection to grow uncontrolled. But do not worry I have identified the problem and it is a very simple operation we can start in about an hour.” Bob was relieved and went to prepare for his operation. Minutes later Karen ran into the hospital looking for Bob. The doctor met Karen in the waiting room and explained everything and that they were about to operate on Bob. Karen then asked the doctor, “So doctor how long is he going to be on crutches?” The doctor looked confused and said, “I do not understand?” Karen reddened in the face and in a raised voice said to the doctor, “Well you are going to extend his legs aren’t you? Everything else stays exactly how it’s going!”

Answer 5

two Chinese ppl are on their honeymoon, They are both virgins. The husband asks his wife, "what position u wanna try firt", she says "I wanna try a 69" He says "U wanna broccoli & chicken"

Answer 6

Why is a blonde's belly button always sore?

Her boyfriend is blonde too!

Answer 7

My name is Swapnil Bhartiya. I know you won't laugh at listening my name...unless you see my face also.

Answer 8

why didnt the skeloten cross the road?


couse he didnt have the guts!

Answer 9

if you have 7 pillows on your bed you might married or gay

Answer 10

Why do elephants wear TENNIES?

Because...

ELEVENIES are TOO BIG...

and...


NINIES are TOO SMALL!!!

=)