My sister was sexually abused when she was little, should she know?

Question

Should my sister have a right to know that she was sexually abused by our neighbor when she was 3? (She doesn't remember it). It was by my neighbor.

Answer 1

That pissesmeoff. What a difficult situation that you should know and she does not remember. If you feel you can help her by telling her this, and you are there to support her when she freaks out, and have a place to go to counseling with her all in order, then maybe you should. But I will tell you this, nothing screws up a future like a freak from the past haunting your mind when your trying to have a normal life. It never stops, once she knows, she'll never ever be able to let it go. EVER!
The first answer I read wrong at first, I thought he sad leave it alone we should not live with a therapist.

Answer 2

Geez, thats a tough call. I would say, If shes living a happy and 'normal' life, Dont tell her, unless of course that neighbor is still in her life. If shes living life on the edge and doesnt know why shes behaving in that way, Then yeah, it could be the answer shes looking for, the reason for her behavioural characteristics. These things DO impact on your life, even if its too early to recall. Most ppl have the ability to block stuff like this out. Happened to a freind of mine. Do you think it will benefit her to tell her now? Weigh up the Pro's and Con's. And for what reason would you want to tell her?

Answer 3

I would say that it depends on her age. If she is at an age that she can understand and comprehend, and you've got professional guidance to help walk her through it, then she should probably be told.

I promise you this much: she remembers it, she just might not consiously remember it or understand it.

She has been injured very badly--physically and emotionally. The emotional pains are real, but they have not had time to heal and have not been given the nurturing needed to heal. The process of healing will be painful--but once healed (or at least mended) she will be happy to know the progress.

My guess is that right now she has serious pain and doesn't know why.

Get professional advice before taking any action on this!

Answer 4

Ask yourself if you'd want to know if you were her. What would it prove? Is the neighbor still in her life? How do you know she doesn't remember it?

Answer 5

In her place, I would rather not know that unless I had figured out something was 'wrong' already and was trying to find out what had happened. If she is asking questions, then she deserves proper answers. If she isn't asking, then maybe it's best to leave things alone.

Answer 6

I hope you did something to that jerk when you knew and if you knew how did you let it happen and did you stop it? If she doesn't remember that don't tell her unless she is all screwed up in the head right now and doesn't know y

Answer 7

if she doesnt remember, then telling her wouldnt make much of a difference..
the only thing that affects the person is the memory of the trauma..
if she's got no memory about it, then whether you tell her or not.. there wouldnt be any difference..

but also.. how do you know she doesnt remember? i mean, she probably knows it, but it's too painful to talk about.. or to even think about it...

Answer 8

its probably a blocked memory that you shouldnt bring up unless she is having problems with her love life then you have the right to tell her. you need to pley the big brother roll and help but do your best not to bring a problem to the table that she may not be able to handle.

Answer 9

i think that unless it is affecting her still, inability to maintain relationships, promiscuity, self-mutilation, emotional instability, etc. then i would hold off telling her until she is old enough to handle it in a mature fashion. if she is old enough, then yes. she has a right to know. it may explain things that she has noticed in her life. make sure that she knows that she is loved, and that you have done all you could to protect her, and that it was not her fault.

Answer 10

No,this will hurt her.and she'll be always afraid from all people she met.and you should teach her how to make herself safe and take care of herself