Is there more to life then your sexuality?

Question

For the past weeks, I have worried nonstop about my sexuality. I have lied to myself, saying I'm straight or bi.. I think I would be considered bi, but barely becuase I like guys so much,
Anyways, I worry nonstop about my sexuality. I hate it. People say there is so much more to life? Why can't I realize that? Is there really more to life then your love life? Please help, because I hate it. :-[

also, I would NEVER be able to tell people my sexuality.. How do I do that? My parents would ****. Of course they would bug me later n when I'm like in my 20's and 30's asking why I'm not married and don't have kids.. How do I cope and deal with that?

Oh, and it's not sex I'm obsessed about.. It's wondering what I am, and being worried about being gay or bi.. I think I'm emotionally bi, but I'm not sure.. I could ge gay. I've had previous girlfriends, one who I REALLY REALLY loved.. She broke my heart lol.. I was also 11 lol. sometimes i get jealous when a girl tells me who they like, and i may have had a crush on them. idk tho.. even though i've been in love, even though i was very young, and even tho i have gotten jealous of people liking others, i still feel gay.. idk why... uhh. i'm prolly bi.. when i think about it i feel gay, and when i don't i feel bi. who knows.

oh, and quit calling me a fag.. do you think i can CONTROL this? god, i hate ******* goody goody christians.. I am one btw, but my god.. i hate homophobes.. you're the ones judging, and the ones that are really going to hell. you CAN stop judging ppl, but you CAN'T just get up one day and stop liking the same sex. dumbasses.

Answer 1

ive questioned my sezuality at times...im in a relationship with another girl and i like it. i call myself bi because im still attracted to men. ive been with her going on 3 yrs now. and im starting to think is that even called bi anymore. just because im attracted to me doesnt mean i would go and full with one and lose the relationship that i have because its not worth it. and sometimes it piss;s me off when im in a chat room and they ask if im bi or lez and i say bi and their like so u have a bf and a gf. i tell them no i just have a gf and there like how do u get full satisfaction from a women when u dont have something hard in u...it just shows that men can be pure a s s holes and i dont have to explain myself. so im like if i say im lez theyll leave me alone and i wont have to worry about there stupid questions that they only think about with there *****. but i can prolly see myself going full lez i love my gf and i want her and no one else. i dont need a man telling me i wont get full pleasure from just her and i dont need a man who sapposeable knows how to give it to me when a women knows exactly what i want.
dont hate ur self because ur not 100% sure on what u are...its taking me almost 3 yrs to decided wat i wana be...my friends use to joke with me and tell me im confused and im really lez and i would get very defensive about it...b4 i wud tell my friends my full sexuality id be true to myself first and know wat i really want.
*sorry if there is loads of spelling errors*

Answer 2

Let me go through this in order.

1. Yes, there is a great deal more to life than one's love life. Relationships are a big thing though. Jonathan and I have been together almost 15 years -- we have many friends, mostly straight -- let me note that we have both been out quite happily since we were teenagers -- but our lives are all over: work, politics, hobbies, sci-fi/fantasy, our houses, charity work sometimes, etc. Sex and love are just parts of life -- the same as they are for healthy straight people.

That is true however because we are HAPPY WITH WHO WE ARE. No fighting here with ourselves thank you. Just embrace whoever you are -- gay, straight, bi. It doesn't matter. If you are a gay boi, cool, if you are a bi boi, cool -- if you are straight -- well, you know as well as I do, you aren't straight -- so release that idea to the Universe.

2. You will stop worrying non-stop about your sexuality and parsing reality with a razor when you just accept that whatever you are is ok. The reason you can't do that is the same reason that you can't tell anyone -- because you are scared of the reactions of family. I have news for you. You live ONE TIME. There may be something after that, I try to believe that there is, but you don't know that there is, neither do I. I do know that we are here, now -- and that wasting the time you have is time that you will never get back.

3. Having girlfriends doesn't mean sh*t one way or another. You can have girlfriends and still be gay. The friend sitting next to me was married for a while -- he was gay before (though he was doing what you are doing, to a t and struggling with himself) and he was gay during (still struggling with himself and drinking alot) and he's gay now. Only now he is out and he has a b/f and he is happy. He never was while he was slithering around in the closet.

4. Who would you be happier with, another boi who loved you and who you loved; or a female? who would you rather have sex with? Ask yourself these things. I do not presume to think that I know what you are -- but you do, underneath. Which do you feel more comfortable with? Which do you feel more lust for? Be honest with yourself and simply accept whatever the answer is. Fighting you only makes you lose sleep and be depressed. Love and believe in y ourself.

Kind thoughts,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Believe it or not this is normal to worry about your sexuality non-stop. I have done it. I have only been in one true relationship and since that has been over I can't think about anything else. There are constant questions of sanity and whether or not I am doing the right things for my life. I know it is easier said than done to say just relax and stop thinking about it, but honestly how can you stop thinking about the one thing that is so important in your life. Relationships are what make people normal, without them we all would go a little crazy. The underlying fact is that underneath everything else in life there will always be questions about sexuality and relationships. It can get so frustrating when you don't have the answers, but just want to know why you feel this way. I'm sorry but I wish I could tell you that. Why does anyone worry about anything? It is just that important. I wish I could tell you don't worry, but I know how impossible it is to do that. I can tell you that things will work out for the right reasons. They usually do. Just stay true to what your entire being is pointing you to. The best place to find honesty and truth is within yourself.

Answer 4

That's a toughie. There's more to life than sexuality. For instance, you can develop a hobby of compulsively using Yahoo! Answers... like what I'm going right now... oh, I need a life...

But seriously, there's more to life than that. Some like watching TV. Some like to read. My grandmother likes to do crosswords. My girlfriend is an amateur writer. I recently got into horse racing (betting and watching, not jockeying). There's more to life, my friend, there's more to life... the problem is is that you're obsessing about it and such. Just coast, don't worry about it, put it on the back burner. Harder done than said, but give it a couple of days, go watch a movie, hang out with a few friends, do that project that you've been putting off... and when you finally calm down, which'll probably be in a week or two, you'll know how to approach and deal with your parents. Good luck.

Answer 5

Just explain to your parents that everyone is different and that you are different. That this is how you are and that they're going to have to live with it. It is your choice and they can't stop you. They're is more to life than sexuality, but still you need to let them know about this. Like you said, they will later on wonder. Just tell them and yourself that this is who you are and who your going to be. They should understand and accept it, they are your parents. And even if they don't right off, just give them some time. If this makes you happy then go for it. But if you don't want to come right out and tell the world and everyone you know that you are gay then just do it step at a time. Tell the most important people in your life about it first and then keep going down the line until you feel comfortable. You can do this if it's what you really do want. I hope you do good and let your family know. Good luck.

Answer 6

Having raised 3 sons, I often heard the comment from them that they and their friends thought about sex 23 hours of the day and slept for the other hour. That changes as you get older. There is way more to life than your love life. It just seems to be the most important thing to you at the moment.
If people ask personal questions about getting married and having children, you do not have to answer. That is your business. In order to find out how your parents would handle the truth of your situation, ask them a question about one of your friends and see what the response is. I personally do not agree with the lifestyle but if you were my child, I wouldn't preach to you or turn you away. I just couldn't do that. Most moms are like that.
Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

You are just going through a period of inner turmoil. Hopefully once you have resolved the issue inside of yourself and get in a good relationship, then you can realize there is more to life than sex. It's okay to be bi; don't let your Christian idealism make you think otherwise. And please don't worry about what your parents think..they can adapt. It is YOUR life so make it count. Please do realize it is the inner person that is most important. You are not your sexuality alone. Meditate on Galations 3:28.

Answer 8

You sound really confused lol! well, God made you who you are and what you are, and God don't make mistakes, I've had my heart broke by guys many of times, that does not mean I'm looking for girls. I will always like guys. And I think you just havn't found the right girl yet. But you shouldn't give up! I have a feeling that you are a really kool and likable person, don't give up!!

Answer 9

Of course there's more... but you can't get to the more until you figure this out. You need to reach some point where you can deal with this before you will be able to move on.

It's like grief when someone dies. At first, it seems bottomless, like all you can do is sink deeper and deeper into it without end. But then, you eventually get to a point where you can move on.

It's very easy to say "stop worrying and deal with it," but I've been there and I know it's difficult to sort out. Accept yourself, accept who you are. Only then can you move on.

Answer 10

But of course there is more to Life than Sexuality.

Sexuality is about what we are attracted to and that does not define me.

When people find out I'm Gay most say to me I do not act like it.

There is no one way LGBT need to be in order to be LGBT.

I am many things but first and foremost I am a human being.