Teen Abstinence and a Raped Child?

Question

Early child sexual abuse leaves teens feeling tarnished. Along comes religious fanatics shouting about abstinence. How do these kids feel? Sexually abused kids often feel there is nothing left and turn to drugs to bury their pain and mask their shame.

Sexual intercourse for them is easy. They were trained at an early age to respond. It is no big deal. Perhaps the child was trained to get a money reward for performing and they don't resist because the pain inflicted was just too great.

And when we talk about abortion, what do they care? Perhaps they would rather abort than have a child live with what they experienced.

Answer 1

Early sexual abuse can be devastating to a child's self-esteem and destroy any notions that love making can be something of enjoyment. They often think it's their own fault (just like kids think it's their fault if their parents divorce)....basically it will mess them up and they need to have counseling to regain, as much as possible, what was taken from them.

I'm sure it doesn't help at all for these children to hear about how evil sex is and that they are going to hell for having sex before marriage...it wasn't their fault that it happened, but kids don't really get how to make that distinction. So maybe they'll just give up and figure it doesn't matter to continue acting like a doormat since what already is done is done. Yet again, that's why they need counseling...to deal with the event(s) and what society says.

As for abortion: I don't think any female (either woman or child) should have to carry the product of a rape. But, I doubt someone would abort later in life simply because they were abused as a child. Although, living with such abuse does raise the chances that the person who grew up being sexually abused may do the same to their child....not all or most will do that and counseling does a lot to prevent it from happening.

Answer 2

First of all lets dispell the myth that abortion is caused by rape and incest. Less than 1% of all abortions are performed due to either one of these issues. Secondly...rape, incest and molestation occur when a person is deprived of "choice" or over powered by an attacker, seduced, exploited or taken advantage of. With abstinance the message is that as a human being you have the right to choose and that anything else is a crime, is an abuse or is against God's plan for our lives. Third, let also dignify one from the other...choosing to have sex is or can be a symptom of having been abused or mistreated. Even choosing sex outside of marriage for someone with a healthy abuse free history can have severe negative consequences not the least of which is a slowly depreciating sense of self worth. That is the natural course of pre-marital sex. As well, what is the alternative? Your message seems to state..."they are screwed up anyway...let them continue in their misery" rather than empower a person and giving them the message that there is a God who cares and who is sincere and who does not hold this abuse against them because it was not consciously done. Sin is when temptation occurs and we choose to proceed inspite of knowing its wrong. The message of abstinance says...you can be pure, you can be strong, you can have the say so, the self discipline and so forth. Its a powerful message. I know for fact because I am one of those "children" now an adult. A victemized person who does not know they have a choice is just left open to further victemization one way or another on some certain level. Oh and, religious fanatics? I think any christian that comes to a child, teenager, adult or any person with the message of Christs love and redemption with the HOPE and PROMISE of starting over is the only healing that individual may ever get. Why begrudge them that just because you are unwilling to understand it? Love in Christ, ~J~ <><

Answer 3

I know people that have been sexually abused at a early age and i have seen both sides, one healed the situation by the hand of God, the other became very rebellious. The rebellious one is now paying for many things that she regrets.

I suggest therapy. a therapist will help in all those situations that the child is going through. Its something that I know works and will help a lot. I know there are a lot of fanatic religous people out there, but you just cannot listen to them.

Answer 4

The Kids Do Have A Problem. But With The Right Counseling The Might Not.

Answer 5

I don't understand your question. Are you saying we should alloy kids to live that kind of lifestyle just because they were a victim of rape? Doesn't that just prolong their victimization?

When a child is raped, they need counseling. It may be the reason for their drug use/alcohol abuse/promiscuity but it doesn't make it okay for them to live that lifestyle. If these teens received counseling and tried abstinence, I'll bet you they feel a lot better about themselves knowing they don't have to be a slave to what has happened in the past.

Answer 6

The truth is the child is tarnished. Not by their own fault and the sin will then go upon the head of those who have abused. They all the more need the knowledge of the love of Jesus Christ and the healing he can preform in their life, by teaching them it isn't what has been done to you, but what you do your self, that will end up being what we were judged by. And that forgiveness is possible for both themselves and the people who wronged them.

Answer 7

I agree with you to a point. But not all sexual abused children turn to drugs. Believe me, I know. And abstaining from sex is a road that I've chosen over the years and it works for me. However, not everyone is the same.

Be blessed.

Answer 8

hi grandma-all you can do is offer love to them-try to make sure that help is available and try by your actions to show them that there is a better path that has hope and love-as for the person or people who did this-vitamin deficiency lack of lead easy to obtain and i would be perfectly willing to administer-keep the peace spread the light lots of love old hippie here

Answer 9

A woman who becomes pregnant due to an act of either rape or incest is the victim of a horribly violent and morally reprehensible crime. Although pregnancy as a result of either rape or incest is extremely rare, there is no getting around the fact that pregnancy does occur in some instances. Bioethicist Andrew Varga summarizes the abortion argument from rape and incest in the following way:

It is argued that in these tragic cases the great value of the mental health of a woman who becomes pregnant as a result of rape or incest can best be safe-guarded by abortion. It is also said that a pregnancy caused by rape or incest is the result of a grave injustice and that the victim should not be obliged to carry the fetus to viability. This would keep reminding her for nine months of the violence committed against her and would just increase her mental anguish. It is reasoned that the value of the woman's mental health is greater than the value of the fetus. In addition, it is maintained that the fetus is an aggressor against the woman's integrity and personal life; it is only just and morally defensible to repel an aggressor even by killing him if that is the only way to defend personal and human values. It is concluded, then, that abortion is justified in these cases.

Despite its forceful appeal to our sympathies, there are problems with this argument.

It is not relevant to the case for abortion on demand, the position defended by the popular pro-choice movement. This position states that a woman has a right to have an abortion for any reason she prefers during the entire nine months of pregnancy, whether it be for gender-selection, convenience, or rape. To argue for abortion on demand from the hard cases of rape and incest is like trying to argue for the elimination of traffic laws from the fact that one might have to violate some of them in rare circumstances, such as when one's spouse or child needs to be rushed to the hospital. Proving an exception does not establish a general rule.

Since conception does not occur immediately following intercourse, pregnancy can be eliminated in all rape cases if the rape victim receives immediate medical treatment by having all the male semen removed from her uterus.

The unborn entity is not an aggressor when its presence does not endanger its mother's life (as in the case of a tubal pregnancy). It is the rapist who is the aggressor. The unborn entity is just as much an innocent victim as its mother. Hence, abortion cannot be justified on the basis that the unborn is an aggressor.

This argument begs the question by assuming that the unborn is not fully human. For if the unborn is fully human, then we must weigh the relieving of the woman's mental suffering against the right-to-life of an innocent human being. And homicide of another is never justified to relieve one of emotional distress.
Although such a judgment is indeed anguishing, we must not forget that the same innocent unborn entity that the career-oriented woman will abort in order to avoid interference with a job promotion is biologically and morally indistinguishable from the unborn entity that results from an act of rape or incest. And since abortion for career advancement cannot be justified if the unborn entity is fully human, abortion cannot be justified in the cases of rape and incest. In both cases abortion results in the death of an innocent human life.

As Dr. Bernard Nathanson has written, "The unwanted pregnancy flows biologically from the sexual act, but not morally from it."Hence, this argument, is successful only if the unborn are not fully human.


Some pro-choice advocates claim that the pro-lifer lacks compassion, since the pro-lifer's position on rape and incest forces a woman to carry her baby against her will. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is the rapist who has already forced this woman to carry a child, not the pro-lifer. The pro-life advocate merely wants to prevent another innocent human being (the unborn entity) from being the victim of a violent and morally reprehensible act (abortion), for two wrongs do not make a right.
As theologian and ethicist Dr. Michael Bauman has observed: "A child does not lose its right to life simply because its father or its mother was a sexual criminal or a deviant."

Furthermore, the anguish and psychic suffering caused by rape and incest has been treated quite effectively. Professor Stephen Krason points out that "psychological studies have shown that, when given the proper support, most pregnant rape victims progressively change their attitudes about their unborn child from something repulsive to someone who is innocent and uniquely worthwhile."

The pro-life advocate believes that help should be given to the rape victim...


to make it as easy as possible for her to give up her baby for adoption, if she desires. Dealing with the woman pregnant from rape, then, can be an opportunity for us -- both as individuals and society -- to develop true understanding and charity. Is it not better to try to develop these virtues than to countenance an ethic of destruction as the solution?

Answer 10

I am sorry for your pain; I feel it as surely as if you were beside me. You are so very right about all of this.. I am a survivor, and I know how it feels to think you have nothing left to give anyone.
There ARE those of us who care, please know that.