Wife Blues?

Question

Ive been married for around 23 yrs, and i still love her very much.
But, she has been going through some personal family issues recently, every time i try to console her - she backs off - why- it makes me think im not loved anymore.

Answer 1

well I don't know if she loves you or not, but we married people all feel a little unloved sometimes. Tell her how you feel and maybe you just cant help her with this one, which is hard for a man to except, but do talk to her and make sure you let her know that you are thinking of her and not the fact that you feel unloved. I know sometimes if I am not in the best for whatever reason my husband always thinks its because of him and no it does not be. Take it easy on her and understand that you may not be the foremost thing in her life at the moment. But apart from all that well done and congratulations on 23 years of marriage and long may it last, you are brilliant for being together this long and being on here concerned for her, you are a nice man and it will work out for you, I am sure

Answer 2

What age is she? It might be that she is approaching or going through the menopause?

This time is very difficult in a women's life. Even if she doesn't have a bad time with the physiological symptoms, it can be difficult emotionally.

When you say "console" I wonder what you mean? If you show her support and listen to her, and she still backs off, it might be that there is something else going on.

Try to talk to her about it. Don't give up! Good luck,

Answer 3

After 23 years marriage, there are the ups and down in the woman mind with her partner, maybe she doesn't want you to console her in this matter because maybe you did something or said something in the past that she do not agree with. Just give her the space and time she needs and tell her that your there for her when she wants to console in you.

Answer 4

maybe she does'nt need to be consoled, she needs to be supported......console her is trying to make her feel better but supporting is understanding her, understanding her feelings and what she is going thru and most important thing is showing her that you are ready to share her burden...don't think that you are not loved anymore coz the important thing right now is her feelings about the situation not yours, give way and sacrifice a bit for her...tell her that if she is ready to talk you are there to listen and when she does, make sure you give her your full attention...
i hope everything works out fine for you both, 23 years of marriage is a big achievement, don't let life challenges spoil it good luck and god bless

Answer 5

I don't know what the issues she going through are but:-

If she needs space and time then give it to her... don't take her being cool personally: Be patient.

She more than likely still feels the same about you, as you her, but needs space at this time...

Try leaving her a note on the pillow saying 'I love you, & I'm here when you need me xoxo'... then at least she knows your there when 'she is ready', and that you care.

Good luck my friend..xoxo

Answer 6

I to am with a woman i love very much, she has just this year become blind and now has guide dog.
And she to has issues which need attention personal ones . and when i get close she pushes me away, in her own way.

but we are called to stand beside those we love , those we choose to live out our lives with.
There is very little else to do but to love them through the hard times, and then continue your lives(plural)
my answere is just hang in there it has lasted this long, you keep putting all those years of experience with her into play you guys will be alright.

Answer 7

you don't mention what you're "trying" to do to console her, and you didn't say if you've attempted to talk with the family she's dealing with. family matters can send one to hell and back. she probably doesn't need you right in her face, but she does need to know that she can count on your support, and when she's ready to be listened to, you'll do just that....listen. men have a tendency to want to "fix" things and that may not be the help she's needing. she'll let you know when she needs you to step in on her behalf. you'll have to learn to read her body language and learn some timing.

Answer 8

After 23 years my friend, you're probably not.

It took my wife about 23 minuets.

Answer 9

perhaps she has a lot of sorting out to do in family matters and needs the space and time, she eventually will turn towards you, all you can do at present is be patient

Answer 10

I would suggest that perhaps you voice your concern to her. Let her know that you are concerned and that you feel she has been shrugging off your attempts.