Diffrent when they are here like he complanes alot about the things they do say or dont do it just to me it seems my kids never do anything right in his eyes. It really hurts me so much because my three kids are my everything i mean i bring three time more the income then he dose most of his income goes to his child support for his two girls. He came to me he came with only a bag of close i had every thing from a home to car and i pay for all my bills some times i still pay for them any ways can any one tell me how to cope with this anything well help.
2006-06-17 08:32:39 · 9 answers · asked by nursetech 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is my husband now i have been with him for two years.
2006-06-17 08:35:44 · update #1
I'd sit him down and say look,I don't know what your problem is with my kids,but you knew this was a package deal when you met me,if you can't be nice and quit your bitching,then there is the door and don't let it hit you in the *** on the way out,because weather you like it or not,you will go before they do!!! Either shape up or ship out,the choice is yours!!!! That is just me though!!!
2006-06-17 08:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by luvouhellen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he found himself a sugar momma. If someone doesn't love your kids unconditionally then why marry? My children mean so much to me that if something was to happen to cause my husband and I to divorce I wouldn't bring another man into my childrens home. I can wait until the youngest is 18 before I would do that. I'm sure your children see this attitude form their step-father. My sisters and I did growing up and I will never make my kids feel like they are unwanted in their own home, a home that was theirs long before this man came into it. Sure you want to be happy but at what cost. Why not just a have a bf on the side and when the kids go to their fathers for the weekend then you can have romance for yourself and bf. just my opinion and I don't mean to be harsh, I guess my own personal past of having to deal with a step father that didn't like my sisters and I came out. the worse part for us kids was the fact that our mother knew how he felt and did nothing about it. Don't think your kids don't see it. They do and the choices you make affect them more than you know. Kids aren't always honest with their parents when it comes to their parents being happy or they are afraid of hurting their parents feelings. I wish you good luck.
2006-06-17 09:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by badoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. It's not fair that he criticize your kids all the time. Does he feel like he is a "dad" to them - do you decide things about the kids together, do you punish the kids together, etc. If he is complaining about the kids it might be because he feels he isn't a part of their life/a part of decisions. He is their step dad, and if he hasn't been treated like a real parent maybe thats what is bothering him. Either way, you need to talk to him and let him know how his complaining is affecting you.
You also need to know none of this has anything to do with money or who makes more of it. This is an emotional/family issue that needs to be dealt with. Obviously your hubby is the one who is having a a rough time - you need to listen to him and find out what exactly he's having a problem with.
You should also think about going to family counseling - it would probably help your new family dynamic out and address those issues that need to be dealt with.
2006-06-17 08:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nursetech, he knew you had the children before he married you so he is now tired of playing daddy to children that is not his. No way can someone who loves you will deny your children because he will accept them because they are part of you. If he was not comfortable with this he should have been hones upfront. He sounds as if he likes it just the two of you and that can't be. Soon the kids will grow to not like him because of his actions toward them. Children are very smart and catch on to his feelings if not already. I would talk with him and let him know it is not acceptable to act the way he is about the kids and if he doesn't like it then show him the door. These children depend on Mom to protect them and love them..
2006-06-17 08:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously now, if some man griped about my kids, I'd kick his whiny *** right back out that door with just his clothes and measly paycheck.
2006-06-17 08:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not something you should have to cope with. Tell him what hes doing and to stop if he does not stop you will have to decide who is more important him or the kids.
2006-06-17 08:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sentient7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you bring this dead-beat piece of crap into your children's lives? You need to make a decision, which is more important -your children or this guy. It's not healthy for them to be around that. He obviously is with you IN SPITE of your children, he needs to change is attitude.
2006-06-17 08:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by UNITool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you PICKED the wrong new husband. Your kids have to come first.
2006-06-17 08:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by joyce82367 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a nutshell, it sounds like he found someone to take care of him (you) and your kids are cramping his style.
2006-06-24 08:18:04 · answer #9 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋