I've been starting to get this urge to get married and have babies, only my boyfriend is really not ready and says he won't be for a looong time. I really don't want to either, at least not in the next couple years or so. How do I get rid of this feeling of urgency?
2006-06-17 07:58:31 · 29 answers · asked by Niki 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm just curious as to how old you are? When I was younger, I couldn't WAIT to get married and have babies. Now, I'm 31, and am SO thankful I have waited. I would have never been able to do all the things I've done, plus I would have been settling for someone just for the sake of being married. Don't make that mistake. People don't really start growing and learning who they really are until they are in their mid to late twenties. People should NEVER get married before they are 25. This is the reason there is such a high divorce rate in America. I would rather be single and happy for the rest of my life than be married and miserable. It's just not worth it.
2006-06-17 08:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by hrh475 2 · 4⤊ 3⤋
How old are you?
I personally do not see anything wrong with this urge at all. In the back of my mind I have always wanted to get married someday and have kids. But this urge did get a lot stronger when I turned 25. And like you, at the time I was with someone who was not going to be ready for this for a while.
Honey, I think if you are in your early to mid twenties, this is really a normal thing. I used to feel like you at when I turned 25 and I was so ready to have babies. I am now 26 and this urge just gets stronger. Every time I see a baby my heart sinks with envy (not in a hateful way), but in the sense that I wish that was me.
When does your boyfriend see the future committment happening? How long have you been together? I am sure it will all happen for you at the right time. You just have to keep telling yourself that. Sometimes I do feel like no one will marry me and I will not have kids. Its a negative thought that I need to push out of the back of my mind. Really, this is our hormonal instincts that are kicking in. Our body is screaming to have a baby!
Try to be patient with your emotions and just feel all the feelings. Eventually, they will die down so that you are not thinking about it all the time. I know that financially I am not ready to have a baby, and I do want to get married first.
Most women will always want to get married and have babies. Its a part of life! And the fact that you are so eager to have some in the future shows that you are going to be a great mom someday. I give credit to the women who actually admit that they do not want to be mothers. You are better off really wanting to have babies than to have them half heartedly.
Good luck, and try to give yourself more credit and patience!!
2006-06-17 08:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by katisadiva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay i read your other question bout your b*friend not being n2
s e x but did not respond. then i came across you again. there is not really much you can do about stopping the urge. but i dont know your whole situation and im not trying 2b a smart a s s but maybe your b*friend is not n2 sex ne more because of these feelings you have. maybe he knows that he does not want to marry or have babies n tthat is weighing on his mind. the two of you should talk more about this. you are getting to a point in your life where you are ready to start thinking about settling down and there is nothing wrong with that but you need to find out what it is he wants. if he is never going to want to be married or have kids you guys may not be ment for each other. you need to find these things out so you can take the nexxt step
good luck
2006-06-17 08:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by mommaslosthermind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married and having children is NOT an easy task. Trust me! I'm 30 and I have 3 children that are the 2 and I have 14 month old twins. My day starts early and ends late. If I'm not changing diapers, I'm feeding them, if I'm not feeding them, I'm putting them down for a nap, and when they are down for a nap - I'm cleaning up after them. There's a great saying that "When you're a mommy, there is no RESTroom." Which is so true! Don't get my wrong, I LOVE my HUSBAND and my CHILDREN! But you need to be ready for all of this. Enjoy your life as it is now, because once you do get married and have children, it will NEVER be the same again. It's BETTER but it's NOT the same!
Good luck to you!
2006-06-17 08:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by kaije03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone that has a little baby you can play with and do things with. My friend Jordan really wanted a baby, And he started spending alot of time with my daughter. Hes so glad that he can spend time being "uncle Jordan" and still have time to go out with friends, go to the movies or what not. I wanted the same thing a few years ago. Honestly? I wish I could go back. I have a 4 1/2 month old and working on a relationship is SO HARD. My sweetheart always feels like he is #2 and I can never have just alone time with him without planning it all out in advance. (work, baby sitter, nursing her first) Its alot of work and I would never wish that upon a young girl who doenst have a steady relatioship.
2006-06-17 08:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by Passionately Vulnerable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married and have babies, then you will wish you never had wanted to get married....then the children thing would not be a problem because you would know your not ready...better yet this is perfect go down to your local court house and watch a judge settle custody and divorce settlements. That will make you a little more knowledgable.
2006-06-17 08:01:18 · answer #6 · answered by devilymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda understand what you are going through. I am having the urge I just want to settle down. Not necessary have babies but just start settling down building a life with my boyfriend and marriage and all that stuff. So hang in there I understand. Just stay busy and it will happen.
2006-06-17 08:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by brezzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just your hormones. Thankfully I waited till I was in my early 30's. I was good and ready to be a great father and a 1/2 way decent husband. : )
My wifey was 28 when we had our lil punkin.
Imagine being woke by a baby screaming every couple hours throughout the night. Man that is hard if you are working.
Try that...set your alarm for every 2 hours.
2006-06-17 08:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep someone's kids without them. So that the kid depends all on you for everything. But don't keep a 10 year old. keep one that is about 14 months-5 years old. That will teach you.
On the married part imagine living with your worst enemy 24 hours a day and if you think you can handle it go for it. Cause sometimes your married to your best friend and sometimes your worst enemy.
2006-06-17 18:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by regan4love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 29 now, a mommy of four and my husband and that i had our first baby as quickly as we've been 22(sure we've been married then and have been for 3 years). My opinion is that that's wide-spread. We experienced it, me extra advantageous than my husband. i do no longer comprehend of any thank you to end desiring one and don't think of you ought to attempt to end. it is your maternal instinct or organic and organic clock although you opt to call it. And it is common. particular there is no rush yet once you opt to have infants asap and you the two completely understand the duty and are in a concern to offer each and every thing your little miracle will choose then I say decide for it while the time is sturdy. sturdy success to you the two and don't lose sight of your desires. wait and spot and initiate making plans now to make your desires actuality. sturdy success and congratulations in boost the two on your wedding ceremony and your pregnancies!!!!!!
2016-10-31 01:16:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋