I've been with a lovely woman for many years. In the past 2 years our jobs caused us to work on different continents.
We are planning to get married next month but I am having second thoughts.
Naturally the work separation has not been good for our relationship and this has also caused the wedding planning to be difficult. I feel it has created a tremendous strain on our relationship and I'm beginning to second-guess myself.
I had just wanted to get the wedding over with so we could be together and try to sort out our lives but recently she has started pushing very hard to have children quickly. I realized I’m not ready to have kids in my life just yet.
Like I said we used to be great together but I feel like the woman I love is pushing me down a road I don't want to go just yet.
Should I tough it out, get married and accept her wishes or break away?
Only sensible answers please. Thanks
2006-06-17 06:22:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should put the wedding on hold. Don't necessarily break away but give it some time. Date again for a little while. Get to know each other again. See if the sparks are still there. If in a year or so you are still in love, then decide if you want to be together for ever.
You have been apart for a long time. Things/feelings could have changed. You don't want to get married and resent each other later and have it only end in divorce. Especially after you have kids in the picture.
Talk to her and tell her how you are feeling.
Good Luck!
2006-06-17 06:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say trust that warning voice, it's telling you what you don't want to do. You're better off being honest and true to your heart. Have you told her how you feel about having kids straightaway? No one should push another person to do what they're not ready to do. If she's willing to push you into parenthood (which is such a huge step and I really think shouldn't take your decision about it as a trivial thing) then it's not really YOU she wants or need. Just a partner in the parent thing.
You say you "used to be" great together "but". Whenever I see that word "but" it tends to mean that everything before it is cancelled out. In other words, you're not great together anymore. So I guess you don't really need us to answer your question, perhaps only reinforce the answer you already know in yourself.
2006-06-17 15:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by askios007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the outside looking in, if you have any doubts at all, even the tinyiest of doubts, do not do it. If you are not 100% of why you are doing what you are doing and cannot say that you have no reservations regarding the marriage then don't. It is easier to look at a mistake not made and wipe the sweat from your brow with a whew!, than it is to wipe the sweat from your brow with a what was I thinking about when I ruined my life!
2006-06-17 13:45:02 · answer #3 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel she is pushing you to do something you are not in agreement with, I suggest you do not get married. Resentment will soon set in, and if the marriage breaks up and there are children in the picture, the children will suffer. Do what you feel is right for you.
2006-06-17 13:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by SAChicky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you Love her? Everyone one worries before a wedding. Get more rest and visit the gym or swim. You need your body and sole to keep sane.
2006-06-17 13:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by thecharleslloyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should lisen to your heart and ask yourself is it really worth it.
2006-06-17 13:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.Cruz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋