I'm gay but I don't like gay men?

Question

First off, I'm neither one to go around making "gay jokes" just to hide my homosexuality, nor do I detest my homosexuality and homosexuals.

I'm gay but I'm not attracted to gay men. Perhaps I'm still in denial but the thought of being with another gay man turns me off.

Yes, that means I prefer straight men. I'm pretty much screwed.

Here's the real question: Does anyone have the same problem as me? And how do I get into the pants of straight men?

"not to offend but why do you like men in the first place????"
It is innate. I didn't choose to be attracted to the same sex.

Answer 1

You should ask yourself something first. Why do you want to get into the pants of "straight" men if you are gay?

Understand that a "straight" male has zero interest in men, and if they do, they are not heterosexual, they are bi-sexual and are not "straight" in their sexual orientation.

Take a personal inventory and get to the root of your sexual attraction for "straight" men. Because if you act out on your desire for a "straight" man, you may pick the wrong man and be harmed physically or mentally from that impulse.

You may have some "self hate" issues, if you're gay and are not attracted to your own.

There are plenty of "straight" acting gay men for you to choose.

I suggest you find one.

Answer 2

Perhaps you are attracted to the non-stereotypical gay man. Those who tend to have a soft or sensitive side may not be what makes you "tick". If this is the case, don't lose faith in finding that certain someone who will be everything you are looking for.

If you feel you are only attracted to men you can't change, perhaps it's more of an excitement in corruption.

However, there are bi-sexual men out there who has no sexual preference and can be happy with either sex. Maybe this type of person would fit your desire especially since you feel you're in denial or could possibly be.

If you're all new to this there could be a lot of other issues coming up for you, such as your family background and their acceptance into this lifestyle or perhaps an inner ego that won't let yourself be who you are, which can also create fear.

My best advice is to search deep within yourself and find who you truly are and perhaps even conduct a list of the reasons you have a hard time with being attracted to gay men in general. Afterall, when it comes down to it. If a straight man was to give in to you, he becomes gay in one sense or another... so there has to be a reason you've been turned off completely by all gay men.

Answer 3

There's a similar question earlier today or yesterday about how can u turn a straight man gay. Well to me, it's quite impossible. Best thing is, if u think u r really a gay, why still be in denial? Perhaps ur chances are better if u just open up and accept gay man, just like u. I mean not everyone chose to be a homosexual so yeah...it can be tough for u. And I fear, just the thought of how difficult it is to get straight man to be gay, can make u feel depressed and end up suffer from great depression and such. I suggest u just go with the flow~

Answer 4

You have self hate issues. Or you are not well travelled. You would be surprised who is gay. True straight men are not attracted to you. Are you speaking about a certain personality type or the literal fact that you are attracted to unavailable people? That opens a whole other can of worms.

As far as getting a "straight" man to fool around with you, Just make sure you have a lot of booze in the house, can give amazing head and are ALWAYS douched and prelubed. On hint of sh!t stink and that dick is out of there. Don't expect condom use and learn to swallow. It helps if you are willing to wear a jockstrap that hides your own equipment so he can pretend it's a pu$$y. Best to begin with str8 porn so he gets horny and drunk. Wonder aloud what it would be like to be a woman, show an anal sex scene. Wonder aloud what it must take for a woman to be able to take a hard dick. Tell him it is okay to jerk off if he is seriously horny, let him 'stick it up there' once to see if you can take it like that ***** in the porno. He will pound til he shoots, mumble leave and never call you again unless he has developed a taste for easy a$$.

Answer 5

You are not in an unknown situation -- it's not incredibly common, but not out of bounds. I've had my share of sex with stright guys. It's not all it's cracked up to be.. but first...

I think you should examine why you are not attracted to gay men. Do you think it's something about them... or could it be something in you that fears that other gay men will be like you? There is such an incredible variety of men... and gay men out there. Maybe you're just not meeting what you're looking for.

Experience a lot of men -- you don't have to have sex with everyone you meet... do you? Just get to know them on deeper levels.

If you must persist in going after straight guys, though, you need to be able to "read" who might be open to it, which is a skill in itself. One of the easiest ways is if you have access to personals ads for "bi-curious." In my experience, few are actually curious about being bi and just want to get off and don't care who helps them. Know that going into it, too -- do not expect affection from them if you go this route. You would only be a sexual outlet.

More often than not, I have been approached by them. "Approached" may be two strong a way of putting it. It's often been a case of "why not."

Answer 6

Here, I am - straight over 45 female - here's my question...is it gay men you aren't drawn to or is it flamboyant, effeminate men you are not attracted to?

I know that some gay men are far more feminine that I have been or ever will be and I'm about as girly girl as you can get.

I worked with a man for 13 or so years and then - only when he moved to a different city and set up house with a male lover - did I find out he was gay. It never came up for discussion and he was all manly man as far as I knew or saw.

Answer 7

This is really wild but hey. Look at it like this, you say one thing and do another. Its not that you dont like gay men you are not attracted to a fem of a man. The attraction is not for straight men but for men who appear to be straight. Bottom (no pun intended) line. Get over it and live. Oh yeah WRAP IT UP in the process. Women shouldnt have to die because you like to do what you do! and another thing after you've had a straight man is he now gay????

Answer 8

Well, I think I understand where you are comming from, I mean I am straight and all but I am a girl and I hate women! Good thing I'm not gay hu :)
But I would have to tell you to that if you ever got with a straight man, he was never really all that straight. You'll fing the right person when the time is right I am sure.

Answer 9

I had the same problem for a long time, and my resolution may or may not work for you.
when I first came out, I called myself homosexual, but not gay. homosexual is a scientific term, meaning sexual with same sex as yourself. Yup, I'm into guys.
gay was a loaded term in my mind, implying flamers and bitches.
as time went on, and I made a circle of gay friends, I began to see individuals as people, with good and bad points. Gay no longer means what it did for me. I'm gay, and things are great.
there are masculine gay men (once to me, that was an oxymoron, like freezer burn or military intelligence)
I now use gay as someone at ease with their homosexual desires.
someone who's totally closeted I'd have trouble thinking of as gay, though they'd be homosexual.
with my gay friends, I dated, and for the most part, they were average joes. I did date a very effeminate guy, who was just the sweetest guy going.
you'll find an average joe out there,

Answer 10

I am also turned off by gay men. Just like you, I also want to get into the pants of straight men. I have slept with 'em but end up not being my friends anymore.

Now, I realize what I want. Maybe this would help you. Go after guys who look and act straight and when you get to know him, tell him to act as straight as he can. That might go far...hehehhe