How do I become assertive and stop feeling guilty for existing?

Answer 1

You sound like you suffer from PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder, relating to growing up either in a dysfunctional family or exposed to a lot of abuse. I recognize this from a professional stand point & a personal one.

I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling guilty for existing. Do you often put yourself down, mentally? Like when you do or say something that you later thought was bad, etc then suddenly find yourself saying in your head, "OMG, you're so stupid ____!" This has to do w/what your core beliefs are. Core beliefs are little internal, learned, beliefs about oursevles that aren't true. Things that develope over time when we've been living in an abusive situation.

To really get over these problems you are having, I seriously recommend you find a counselor or therapist who specializes in treating PTSD. It wasn't until I found one who did, that I learned to over come my issues w/assertivenes & learn to love myself & realize that I am a valued human being who has the right to exist.

*hugs* If you want to talk more about this, I can go more indepth, click on my profile & send me a msg, I'll be happy to help you out, because I KNOW this feeling all to well that you are talking about.

Answer 2

Thats a tough position to be in. Well if you feel left out and don't have the strength to go out i highly suggest you invite some friends over, order some pizza in and socialize. Doesn't have to be for more than one hour but it will let your friends know you really care about them. A phone call or a msg always helps as well. For your university work, you should get a tutor or somehow manage to put off more time a day. When it comes to your mom paying money for your medical bills there is not really anything you can do as it doesnt seem you are in the position to work. You could try and get a job over the internett such as a graphic designer where assignments are given to you and you do them at home (when you have time_ before mailing it back. Something else that could help in your situation is just writing a long mail to your mom expressing how you truly appreciate her help.. it will mean a lot to her. Hopefully this will help with your feeling of guilt. Im sad you feel that way as i truly is not your fault. Wish you the best!

Answer 3

I just finished a book that features sections on how to become assertive and to how get over guilt. It's also a book that helps you realize your dreams. "From Panic To Power" by Lucinda Bassett is the book, I checked it out from the local library and it really helped me erase negative thoughts from my mind and helped me have brighter days. In brief, you need to work on your sense of entitlement. You deserve good things - so ask for them. Being assertive is asking for what you want in a nice way. If people say "no" so what? Ask someone else. That's their problem not yours. If you feel guilty for existing, there are probably other issues going on you didn't talk about. This could also indicate depression. Sometimes I feel guilty about good things happening to me and not others. But you know what? That's out of my hands. I believe in God, am a Christian, and know He has a greater purpose for me. He put me here - and you too - and life is full of possibilities and happiness... it starts with you. Good luck, blessings.

Answer 4

simple- you need to realize that you have the right to ask anything of anyone, and that they have the right to refuse- and that you have the same right- as for feeling guilty for existing- if there is blame to assign for your existence it goes to your parents- they were the ones that brought you into this world, so your being here is their fault. what you need to learn is that the simple fact of being here is neutral- what you do with your existence is the key to it's value.
I realize that, while the keys are easy, learning to use them can be very difficult. you need to practice them every day- try doing something to help someone every day- soon making someones day a little easier or better will start to make you feel better about who you are. and if you have a need- ASK- and if you are refused, don't take it personally- remember that the person you ask has the right to say no- and if someone asks you remember you have the same right- if it wont harm you, consider saying yes- if it will harm you, just say no and don't feel bad for protecting your interests.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

You don't have to become "assertive" to stop feeling guilty for existing. You only need to go to the right source of information for what you believe (and feel).
The Bible is the source of information you need, because it was ultimately authored by God, Creator of the universe, and of you.
I challenge you to read it with the prayer that God will open your heart and mind to understand and believe it. It will revolutionize your life for time and eternity.

Answer 6

First, understand, realize and believe that you, as a human being have value. You are loved and capable of being loved.

Second, seek opportunities to serve others. You will get no greater satisfaction from anything else. Don't expect to be complimented, congratulated or compensated necessarily for these things. When you do, the satisfaction is that much sweeter.

Finally, (and these are not in order of priority), seek God and serve Him. Your life will be complete and you will feel His blessings!

Answer 7

why would you feel guilty in the 1st place? don't you find your life good enough to live? what do you have and others don't? what do you have that you can share? think what can you have that others need? blissful life cannot be attain by yourself alone... you just don't exist, you have a purpose! to answer what,why,whom, where, and how depends on you...

Answer 8

Stop counting your blessings...that won't help you. Get out and enjoy life. Forget everything and just have fun. And get laid. Either that or get on some depression medicine...Bipolar much?

Answer 9

find a hero!

find a mentor!

decide what you like and who you are for yourself, develop your own opinions and be yourself!

be a volunteer!

be a mentor!

be some body's hero!

or....get drunk and make an @ss out of yourself in public, that's always good! (you could always test out the public intoxication laws in your area)

Answer 10

I've always relied on the wise words of a '60's comicbook character, Mr. Natural: "It don't mean ****." and " It's all part of who we are."