After birth is it strange for a woman not to want to have sex for 3-6 months?

Question

I always wondered about something that happened in with my X-wife and I. Before giving birth she did not want to have sex for like 3 months. After birth, I waited 3-6 months to have sex again. She did nothing to try and please me other ways.

Thank you for your answers. I supported her, complemented her, tried everything. But as some of you pointed out, hormones and pains I think it was. Trust me waiting 1 year after my second child was hard, but I did it.

I appreciate that she had my three sons more than anything. I love them so much. It was a question that I had always wanted answered.

Answer 1

perfectly normal. your hormones are unbalanced as well as sex can be very uncomfortable right after having a child my husband and i didnt have sex for a good six months also having a new baby can be very taxing during that time its important to be understanding, now i realize you are a male, and i am not trying to say you werent understanding, my husband found it very difficult as well.....but we talked about it and figured it out......while i was pregnant i found sex very uncomfortable i felt confined and squished on top or bottom becuase my belly was so large.

Answer 2

It sounds as if you were a little on the selfish side. I think we can understand why she is an Ex-wife. It's her choice when sex resumes. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her, or you. It could have been that having a child occupied so much of her free time that when she did have time to relax, pleasuring a selfish husband wasn't at the top of her list. It's also important to realize that every woman is different. If they weren't it wouldn't matter which one you married. Obviously you didn't discuss it with her, as you are still curious about it and if you had talked, she might have actually given you a reason. As for before birth, sometimes it's less than comfortable to have intercourse in the latter part of the pregnancy. There was also a belief for a long time that you should abstain during the last tri mester to avoid any chance of miscarriage. (Those beliefs have been modified, however).

Answer 3

You sound pretty self centered there.No wonder she's an ex wife.Let me explain something.Being pregnant,especially in the later stages, is misery.Your back hurts, your chest is sore, you have this thing inside you squirming around,stepping on your bladder, and it's not easy lugging around the extra 25 to 30 pounds we've packed on to bring a new life into this world.And instead of taking a few minutes to consider how she's feeling, you want sex?And then afterwards, your wondering why it took so long to get back into the swing of things?She just popped out a kid !That in and of itself is enough to make someone want to never do it again.Never mind the fact that now ,she has to care for this thing that cries over everything, at all hours of the day and night.If she's lucky,she got a full nights sleep when the kid was 3 months old!Taking care of an infant is exhausting!We don't care about sex at that point, we want sleep! Never mind the hormones needing to settle down.And to top it off, you want to have sex?Do you not have 2 hands?Why should she go out of her way to pleasure you?What have you done for her?It's time to grow up and realise there are other people on this planet besides you.

Answer 4

Oh I know what your talking about. My husband and I have a 1 year old baby girl. Try to see it from her point of view. You have sex you get pregnant. While your pregnant you feel extremal weak all the time, you puke all the time, and your body feels like an alien. No fun at all. Then you have to have the kid. Labor hurts and it hurts bad. It's the worst pain ever. A man will never know the pain. It's different than any pain you've ever felt. Her vagina was stretched the size of that little babies shoulder width. And if you have to get stitches from ripping it takes longer to heal. After going through that would you want to have sex? It took me some time before I wanted to again. I definitely do not ever want to get pregnant again. It was horrible, but I do love my little girl.

Answer 5

Dude, she pushed something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a quarter! Sure it stretches, but that had to crazy hurt! So I can understand if she had to wait to heal. Also, her hormones were probably going crazy, because they drop off when you're not pregnant anymore. (That's why many women suffer from post partum depression.) She also had a new baby to care for, which is overwhelming, time consuming, and probably a little scary. So it makes sense that that was her priority. She probably figured you would be supportive of her since you were her husband, and she knew you had your hand to take care of business if things got out of control. Give her a break!

Answer 6

I think that is normal, it was for me. But eventually I was able to get back into the swing of things. My guess is that not only was she alittle gun-shy but she was probably sleep deprived and since most men don't understand this the women becomes the bad guy. A man rarely looses his libido but a women can and also being goat-ed into having sex before she is ready only makes it stay away longer.

Answer 7

Perfectly normal. Noone understands this better than a woman. Things that women go through are hard to convey to men...it takes a sensitive man to really grasp childbirth and the stress that it entails. My daughter is almost 3 months and with postpartum depression that is really the last thing on my mind.

Answer 8

No, that's normal. Sex during the last trimester is a pretty bad idea, as it could hurt the fetus. After birth, libido is lower, as is ovulation.

But if you've just had a child, wouldn't you have more important things to worry about than sex?

Answer 9

Well, that is pretty normal...be happy if she EVER does it again! Some women can't ever find the man that got them pregnant attractive ever again...of course this happens with some men too, they lose all sexual interest in their wives after they see the utilitarian use of the females body! So, give it some time...probably, eventually u'll be getting as much as every 2 months :D

Answer 10

It always amazes me that a problem like this could go on for months to almost a year without contacting a medical professional. Your wife's OB or physician should be able to guide you on this. Sounds like she has lost her libido from either hormonal imbalance, guilt from religious upbringing or depression. But if she is depressed, that she has no motivation to cure herself or not in the right mind to realize that there is a problem. Please have both of you see a doctor ASAP.