i'm lesbian, and have been out for about 3 yrs.. ever since the woman who is now my wife came down from michigan(i live in alabama), everytime a family emergency has come up, i'm the last person to be informed. my grandmother had a heart attack, i had to find out through my little brother. a favorite aunt was put in the hospital 2 x's, n i found out through my little brother. my mom(who is a devout southern baptist, and hates gays and lesbians), had heart trouble n was rushed to the hospital. again, i found out through my little brother. other family members were alerted to these crises', but not me. noone bothered to call me for any of these emergencies, even though relatives by marriage were notified. am i being shunned by my family? what should i do?should i cut myself off from my parents? also, me n my wife have been 'preached to' by my little brother about the 'evils' of homosexuality, and everytime we visit, there's religous material left in plain sight. what's going on?
2006-06-17 04:50:27 · 15 answers · asked by kelleygaither2000 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Do not let these religious fanatics get you down.
You're a child of God....nobody gets special rights to this...not even Baptists.
Move on with your life. Make friends. Love your neighbors. Adopt children.
When it's all said and done, you will have lived a good life and loved many.
That's all that matters. The other stuff is just that...stuff born out of fear.
You're better than that.
2006-06-17 05:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Spencer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! That totally sounds like my family but I'm 17! They took away my whole life and my mom kicked me out. I haven't talked to her in 5 months! My step dad was a baptist preacher and he has turned my mom against me for being gay! That's pretty messed up! If I were you I wouldn't have anything to do with them and soon they'll come around when they start missing you. Me and my girlfriend plan on moving asap! I turn 18 in 149 days and I can't f*cking wait! We have already found the apartments we wanna live in and everything. Is your wife's family the same way????? I just think you should ignore them, maybe they'll get the point that you don't need them to be happy. Explain to them that you've met the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with and it's neither of them lol GOOD LUCK
2006-06-17 14:39:19 · answer #2 · answered by Kake Hess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is probably just afraid to try to understand you. I'm sorry for the way you are being treated, it is wrong, don't get down on yourself though. It may be hard but you should check out some churches in the area. If they shun you and it is obvious, then you shouldn't go, but if there are people there that actually seem to care, stay for a couple weeks and try it out. The friendships and relationships will be good. If your family doesn't accept you, find a body of believers who genuinly show love to everyone.
2006-06-17 12:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by ForestRanger1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family seems to be very stuck in their ways, religiously. Somewhere deep in side they do still love you, but they are letting that love be blinded by some man-made religious sentiment. You and your wife (congratulations to you) are no less human than anyone else here. One thing you may want to try doing is just break contact for a year or so... then see if things will smooth back.
It is not fair of them to preach to you and try to force their beliefs upon you. There is nothing unnatural about it, you are following the gift god gave you. I am bisexual, and am deeply afraid of telling my family. I knwo they will shun me, as yours has pushed you away.
I wish you the best of luck in this world filled with ignorance and blindness
2006-06-17 11:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Onyx Dracona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always the religious families. My mom wanted nothing to do with me for 13yrs. Here send them this even if you have to print it out.
http://godmademegay.com
My mom liked reading the information. I told my mom don't preach to me or I'll tell you about my sex life. I had 2 small brothers at home so I kept in touch with them the best I could but I never left my partner out. Its very hard write me I have been through it. I am in a very committed relationship with my partner of 3 yrs. I have been through it!!!! Good Luck!!!!
2006-06-17 13:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by azgraywolf143 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like they are. there 2 options open to you now:
1. cut yourself off totally from the family
2 be a total martyr and stick with them until they get their senses back!
( i'd strongly recomend option number 2)
i know they are being unfair, but all they need to do now is just to understand that you are the person they love all those years, ever since you were young. just because you happen to like women doesnt change who you are.
let them know that you still love them, and tell them no matter whatever reparative theraphy they try to pull on you, you wont fall for it cuz you are sure of who you are and what you want in life.
just be there for them all the time, and in time, hopefully they'll realise that you being gay doesnt change you into a heartless person.
cutting them off would only confirm their christian fundamentalist view about gays and lesbian. ie : EVIL
i know this is not your battle to fight (to clear LGBT's name to the christian fundamentalists) but i think this is the way to your family's heart.
good luck on this ok?
2006-06-17 13:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rainbow nation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a chat with them. Ask them what's going on. 'Cause it seems that they are doing this on purpose. Obviously you know best, and I mean, all the jigsaw peices are there to suggest that they are doing this on purpouse with your mother being a devout Christian in all.
If you feel the same as way as most other people will feel you'll probably also see the same. But if it's something else you'll never know if you don't ask. If they do disown you, you'll always have someone who cares for you and who you care for.
2006-06-17 16:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by A Shade Of Grey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being shunned because you have rejected their God completely and chosen a lifestyle that they are ashamed of. You have chosen to reject the very core values of your mother and father and publicly shamed them before the community. Why would you think that they would be excited to see you or have you at family gatherings. They still love you in one sense, but it is terribly frightening to think about them going to heaven when they die and you going to hell forever. They can't handle the situation. You have made your choice and need to face up to the fact that you have to live seperated from them. Don't be dumb about this, look at it and accept it. If you try and force yourself on them it will only make it worse.. You decided to be a lesbian and so accept the consequences.
2006-06-17 11:57:11 · answer #8 · answered by † PRAY † 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they might be tring to deal with that fact that u like woman and they are finding it hard at least ur family is still telling u when things go wrong in the family, I was a adopted and married a woman that had kids and they don't approve and they wanted me to decicde her or them and i tried to make it so every one could be happy but my Father told me that i was not his son a embrasement to the family My anut and Grandma passed away and they never called me to let me know i found out about my grandma reading the news paper and i ran in to my couson at the store and she told me about my anut
2006-06-17 14:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by white_wizard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey all I can say is maybe they are but they are still you family and if they cant accept it then they dont really love you I just came out to my parents and I thought they were gonna turn me away but thank god they didnt
2006-06-17 11:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by Justin s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋