help please?!?!?

Question

I am 18 and my bf proposed to me! I said yes!! our parents hate the idea of us being together and have tried every way possible to get us to end our relationship!! we are planning a long engagement so I can finish college!! do any of yall kno how we can tell our parents?!?! PLEASE ONLY SERIOUS ANSWERS!! thanks ♥

like I said I am 18 he is 20... he has a good paying job! we have been together for about 3 yrs

I think the reason my parents don't like him is cuz I am an only child and they kinda have this "no one will ever be good enough for my daughter" attitude! it makes me sick!

Answer 1

How old is your boyfriend? What reasons do your parents give that they don't want you two together?
I think it is very mature of you to wait till you finish college...that you are confident your relationship will last.
You and your boyfriend should go to each of your parents together...tell them your plans...that you want their blessing.
If you feel for sure they will not accept and will blow it way out of proportion...you could just tell them your engagement ring is a promise ring instead,that you are going "steady".

Answer 2

You've gotten some great advice here already, so I just wanted to reinforce what a few others have said: DO tell your parents, they deserve to know, but DON'T be upset if they seem like they can't accept it at first...they'll come around, but remember they're your parents and they love you more than anything in the world and they have a right to be concerned. You'll understand someday when you have children of your own. You're old enough to do what you want, but I do hope you'll follow through with that long engagement and finish college. 18 is SO young, and I know you think you've got it all figured out right now, but I promise you that you don't. You and your fiancee both will do a lot of growing up in the time it takes to finish college, and that's a good thing. If you both still feel the same way as you do now after you've finished, then you'll know that being together is probably meant to be. If not, then at least you will have figured that out without having to go through a divorce.

Answer 3

I'm 33 yrs old. I got married when I was 21, and it ended in divorce. I would go back and not do it if I had the opportunity. I missed out on my entire 20's. I'd give you the advise of taking your time. A long engagement is a good idea.

Parents know what they have experienced in their past and offer up advise accordingly. I think you should talk to your parents. They are more seasoned than you are on life situations. Open communication is always the best way to do things.

Good luck!!

Answer 4

First of all, a long engagement is a very good idea. What are your parent's reasons for not liking him? Is he willing to change so that he will meet their expectations? Speaking from experience, when parents don't like someone, they are usually right. If I had a dime for every time my Mom was right about someone, I'd be rich! Just be honest with them and tell them (hiding things is not good...gives them reason to suspect and not trust). Tell them that you two will prove to them that they are wrong (say it nicely). I know you are 18 and should be able to make your own decisions, but it is still very young and it makes it so much easier when everyone gets along. My parents didn't like my husband (we were engaged for 4 years), and then when I did finally leave him after almost 10 years or marriage (he was controlling and abusive), he took me to court and got custody of our kids! He just did it to hurt me. So just be smart and listen to your parents. If you think he is great, just prove to them that he is. Does he support you, not control you, does he compliment you, not trash you, does he yell at you alot, is he faithful..these are questions you need to ask yourself. If you are unsure about anything, don't marry him. Divorce SUCKS! I'm now with a wonderful man (3 1/2 years together), but I am still scared to marry again because of all the pain I went through. Be smart and good luck! ;)

Answer 5

I am in a similar situation. I haven't proposed to my gf yet, but my parents hate our relationship. We're both in college and plan to have a long engagement. My advice would be to sit down with them and tell them your plans. Make it clear that you intend to finish college and that your education is important to you (your parents' biggest fear is probably that you'll forget about your school and get married). Tell them you plan to have a long engagement and that you really love each other. They may not accept it at first, but you are an adult and it is your decision.

Answer 6

If you are 18 then you can do whatever you want. Explain to them that it will be a long engagement so you can finish school. I guess their reaction will depend on several things. How old is the boy? Do you still live at home? Does he have a job so he can support you? How long have you been dating? Lots of variables there. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Well my bf has not proposed to me yet, but he has been telling people that he is going to soon. My mother doesn't like the idea of us getting married either. Don't worry embrace and enjoy your engagement. Your parents will come to realize that you have made the decision based on how you feel, not based on how they feel. Make sure that you let your parents know that you understand how they feel, and that you have decided to stick with the choice you have made. Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 8

That's a very wise decision to finish college before getting married. I think you should tell your parents this is your intention, they may not be pleased about it, but when they see you finish your education and then get married, it will prove to them that you are both serious and mature and can take control of your life.
Please don't do anything behind your parent's back, you will lose all the trust that you have built with them, and they will forever think you are being sneaky and not honest with them. That's life.

Answer 9

Just tell your parents that you would like to have their support, however you will continue your relationship. This way they will realize that they can either have you both in their lives or not at all. Most parents don't want to lose a relationship with their children no matter what, so just tell them and they can either accept it or not be included in all the experiences of you two as a married couple.
I hope this helps...

Answer 10

Do what your heart tells you is right while at the same time remain open minded to other points of view. You are awfully young for marriage and at your age the odds of success are against you. I should know, I've married too young and divorced after 14 years. Also, make sure that you do not miss out on your education and that he supports you with your endeavors. However, if you trully want to succeed, you'll need the support of your mother and father and that will take your potential fiance to win them over by being a decent man that will care for you and never hurt you.

What ever you do, please tread cautiously!