my wife and i have been married 4 6yrs now she says she was never happy and wants a divorce but i dont.do i ?

Question

she says shes un happy im 31 shes 27 we have a3 year old son she says she never got to go out with friends before cause she had akid at 17.now that im here she goes out alot she started this last year.now she wants adivorce,but i dont want one i want to stay a family, no im not perfect but i am agood husband ,there is no issue on sex thats fine on both sides .what should i do i love my family.. and i wanna watch my kid grow up.

Answer 1

Rather she stay's or goes you will watch your child grow, it's the law! * Father's rights*

as for the marriage, I am going threw the exact same thing. My husband is not from America so now he want's a divorce so that he can "Explore" America with out me and our 3 kids.
I am still trying to figuer out what to do about it, here is what I have so far;
1. Stop fighting, just walk away when anoyed with him.
2. Stop sex because I dont know if some one is on the side.
3. be very, very pleasent and nice, then walk away .

baiclly I am trying to be nice, but at the same time offering Ampo space for him to think, and decide.

4. find support groups, such as; Church, food pantry's, Social Services, and other places so that you know your backed up when she leaves. You will then have the support of your church, and other places, rather you need it or not, trust me it helps. Support groups also offer witnesses, so lets say you take your son to church each week, they become witnesses that you are a good father, and your child is well cared for.
5. All the things you ever wanted to change about your self, do it now.... I wanted to go back to school so I am in the fall (I'm 30 years old). I wanted to quit smoking so I am down to 8 cigs a day now, and soon to be done with it...... Amazingly this change turns the spouce on, because your different, and they are seeking different...but...... dont give in until you have acomplished all the4 changes because by then we might realize that we also want out of the marriage..ya never know.

I told my husband that I want to go back to school for 2 years, and he agreed to stick around for them 2 years but then leave. In 2 years, I may not want him around any more.

This is as far as I got so far, I hope it helps ya, it has worked for me so far, but keep in mind that the more you stay busy, the less you will think of it, and the less you will see her as well. Spend alot of time with only your child, so that all he wants is daddy.

you should e-mail me so we can talk more on this, also what state do you live in? because laws vary state to state...
I can tell you all the laws on this in NYS but where are you?

Answer 2

I empatize with you man. that's a tough situation there. Have both of you talk in depth what happened to your marriage? I think it is important to understand what happened in between, it's not to blame each other or anything. But it is vital that you both understand what each other is feeling.

We can never control other people. So even if she's at fault or she really didn't do her part as your wife. Honestly, it is she that's the problem. You got to contemplate and try to understand her if you really love her.

Sometimes, things just don't go the way we want them to. It would be good if both of you can go see a marriage counselor. Does she understand the consequences of divorce on your son? There's a lot of things that you guys have to discuss. So talk about the situation honestly withholding your judgments. Listen actively to each other. Then go on from there.

Good luck man! This is hard so be act wisely.

Answer 3

Its interesting how the first thing you say is that sex is not the problem. lol There is more to a relationship then sex believe it or not. I wouldent worry about you not seeing your kid...it seems as though she is doing just fine dumping the kid on you to go party anyway. In fact, you may even have a chance at custody. If she wants a divorce she wants one...I mean what the hell can you do about that. Just choose the next one better.

Answer 4

Let me get this straight...your 31 and your wife is 27...but you've been married 46 years..joking...its the way it was worded..

Look to be quite frank...if you want to save your marriage try to talk to your wife and find out where the marriage went wrong...you can't change the past but you might be able to patch it up...be open minded and listen to how she feels....talk to her to see what it will take to make her happy...if she says a divorce...then her love for you is gone and you need to let her go...staying in a marriage that is one sided is never a good situation....

Answer 5

Unfortunately people alway concider what they do not have as being better than what they do have. Example. I have a nice new car, but want the one coming out next year. This impulse to want does not make my choice a good one. If you are giving space to your wife, and she is still drifting, you must concider the possibility that there is someone else. Most poeple do not leave a relationship without having another one pending.

Mr. M.

Answer 6

i dont think that you should try and "make" her stay that wouldnt be good for either the two of you or for your kid. and if you are gonna get a divorce might as well get now b4 the kid gets older. makes it easier for them to deal with.

in the meantime....why dont you try showing or reminding her what love and being a family is all about. try and get her to remember those feelings that you had for each other at the beginning of the relationship. and add some spice to your relationship...she may be bored...

Answer 7

I would ask her to go on a deeper level of pschology onto her answer So yeah. It might e because She feels burdened by the fact that she has a 3 year old son, So she doesen't feel like your giving her A) time B) a life to go get her "groove" on...lol..But on a serious note, Get a babysitter and let her go and you go do something..! Fun is what she's after. The kid is her downer on her fun...Sorry.

Answer 8

TRY COUNSELING IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEN GIVE HER THE SPACE THAT SHE THINK'S SHE NEED'S YOU CAN STILL BE THE BEST FATHER YOU CAN BE TO YOUR CHILD
TALK TO YOUR CHILD AND EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT HIS MOTHER WANT'S I FEEL THAT YOU ARE TAKEING CARE OF HER GIVING HER WHAT SHE WANT'S AND NEED SO LET HER SEE IF THE NEXT MAN IS WILLING TO DO WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T KEEP A PERSON THAT DOESN'T WANT TO BE KEPT YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG SHE ASKED YOU FOR A DIVORCE GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANT'S
JUST LET YOUR SON KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE THERE FOR HIM AND ALWAYS LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN'S BETWEEN YOU AND HIS MOTHER AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOU TRIED THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN SHE DOESN'T GET THAT TREATMENT THAT SHE GOT FROM YOU FROM WHOEVER
SHE END'S UP WITH WATCH HER COME RUNNING BACK.

Answer 9

Divorce can be hard on all of you. But you have to also look at if you want to be in a marriage that she could be cheating and that she is miserable and makes you miserable. You son is young and you can still be a part of his life and she obviously isn't thinking about any one but herself. So let her go and stay being a big part in your sons life

Answer 10

Sounds to me that your wife has lost herself. Maybe she needs something more that being a wife and mother. I have felt like that before. All you can do is let her know that you love her and support her. I know that you want to be with your kids, and its heartbreaking. Maybe you 2 should try marriage counseling before you go see a lawyer. Best of Luck!!