I don't think I love my wife anymore after 12 years?

Question

After 12 years of marriage, i love my wife in my mind, but my heart tells me otherwise. I feel as though everytime i look at her i find another reason i should not be wih her anymore. She doesn't abuse me and i don't think she cheats on me, but you never know these days. But, it seems that my heart breaks more and more each day that i am with her. Please, can someone tell me what should i do?

Answer 1

Hey I thought you were a 27 year old who was single and dating married women. Where did the wife come from??? What's with the multiple personalities, Lothario?

Answer 2

My first question to you is have you cheated on her and how many times? I'm not trying to offend you, so please don't take it that way. My question to you is for you to answer to yourself. If you have cheated on her more than once and think that you don't wan't to or can't stop then you may want to think about leaveing.

If she was a highschool sweet heart and you never went through the whole dateing thing, I can see why you think you may not love her.

People change over time and sometimes when two people are together they really are not. One partner may be climbing the ladder of success while the other sits around the house content with their life. There is nothing wrong with this but both must accecpt the other for who they are.

If you decide to leave her understand you are going to be alone, probably not forever. Also understand when you do get out in the dating world there are all kinds of differnt people out there. As we get older we begin to start carrying bagage. You may meet a woman with kids and a horrible ex. You could meet a woman who has a habbit of cheating. You could meet a woman who has a hard time trusting people. Or you could meet Ms. Right!

Try writing down a list that you can keep private. Write down your likes and dislikes. Also write what your looking for in a person. When you get this done you may not feel so confused. Then you can make a decision and talk with your wife. Good luck

Answer 3

I think either you need some time apart, or some marriage counselling, or if you could just see how your life would be without her.

Try seeing that without her, things would not all be rosy. You won't magically be transformed into a Don Juan, where you woo sexy vixens and have multiple sex partners. Realize that you will be alone, with the same problems you had before you were married.

Then, if after giving that serious consideration, and you've tried everything else, and you still believe that you'd be better off alone, then perhaps you should consider a divorce. If she loves you, it will hurt her, though. Even if she doesn't love you that much, it will hurt her pride. However, later on she may be thankful to you, even if she can't say it to your face.

Answer 4

Did you know that love is a choice we make and not a feeling we have for someone? At one time you chose to love her. Something has changed. My advice to you would be to examine your own life and what's going on with you. Are you looking at another woman and wondering about someone else? Has your life with your wife became same old same old? Change things up some and be spontanious. The love you have for your wife is still there, you just have to find out what it making you "feel" like you don't love her. What made you want to love her in the begining? Look for that!

Answer 5

Please read all the suggested answers and ask yourself honestly. The problem seems to lie with you foremostly. Not to worry, that being the case, it also means it is most easily resolved. You see, as you go on in marriage, you may find yourself repeating this, "My wife gets older and uglier each year, but the girls outside are constantly prettier and most available," don't you? Your problem is VERY common, it is just that most husbands don't have the courage to admit to it. They are humans and Males too, you know! So, search deep into your marriage, your courtship days, ... you will learn to love her once again. I pray for you both!

Answer 6

Marriages do not last a lifetime anymore. This is why divorces are on the rise.

If you do not love her, you do not love her.

If you have tried to restart the fire or talked about the situation with him, you should get out.

Something must have triggered this for you. Did she say something or forget something important?

Make sure you are sure before you leave. You do not want to look back and say "What If..."

Good Luck

Answer 7

You poor thing. Your wife probably loves you. You should take inventory of your life and decide if it is worth it to you to stay married or divorce and find someone else or divorce and live alone. Maybe you should leave town for a month or so and see how you feel when you return. Good luck

Answer 8

Try not to think about it. Pretend everything is normal. The answer is so simple.

On the other hand, you could ask her if it's okay with her if you bring a woman home to share your lives. Ask her what kind of woman she would prefer. Who knows, you might find two women more interesting that one. Also you could get them to dance with each other and make videos. You could sell the videos on the street, chanting "Videos of two women dancing!"
Or not.

Answer 9

marriage isn't about love. it's about commitment. You vowed to spend the rest of your life with her good or bad, so you got some bad, you should go to counseling and try to figure out what your problem is. Talk to her chances are she isn't feeling all rainbows and lollypops about the marriage either. The key to a happy marriage is honest communication and a willingness to sacrifice for your partner.

go to counseling.

Answer 10

Women's 6th-sense is really good. She should have already known what you feel. Why don't you take the initiative and talk to her? Maybe it's only your illusion. Communications bring you two closer. Why not?