I had 2 affairs, one that lasted for over a year and didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. I regret everything I did and said that got us to where we are today.
2006-06-16 22:18:23 · 12 answers · asked by Fireman29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We still see each other almost everyday. We both tell each other I love you and still hug each other and give little goodbye kisses. we have 2 children together and she has one from a previous marriage that I raised for 8 years. She is truly my soulmate and my one and only true love. She says the same about me but she is affraid to take the chance that I could cheat again. I miss what we had as well as the physical closeness that we once shared. It seems like everything I try just pushes her farther away. As long as we are alone or on the phone she will say I love you, unless one of her friends might hear.
2006-06-16 22:27:12 · update #1
The one year affair was with a co-worker and was off and on. I felt like I was stuck and couldn't get out of it no matter how much I wanted it to be over.
2006-06-16 22:30:09 · update #2
You may never regain the trust she had for you. You can suggest counselling and also don't try to rush it. You have a lot of bad marks against you and really need to prove yourself to her. Also have you thought about what will happen if you get back with her? What made you get into the affair in the same place? Will this reoccurring bad behavior surface again. I'm don't deny that she loves you but just doesn't want to go through the pain of betrayl again. Take some time and get your priorities straight. Good luck
2006-06-16 23:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by D baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered the fact that it was so EASY for you to "fall in love" again even though the EX was in between it all? Are you SURE you LOVE your EX enough to give it another go, or are you just doing this for CONVENIENCE and because she CLAIMS to still love YOU? Statistics show, that 90% of failed relationships givien another chance FAIL too - - WHY? Because both people are on their best behaviour at first, but OLD bad habits eventually creep back in, and the relationship ends up right back where it was before the break-up - or worse. People CAN change, but it requires TIME and A LOT of hard WORK - counseling is a MUST in these situations. You did not mention whether either of you have gotten any counseling - in your case, I feel it is an absoulte MUST in order for anything to CHANGE to make this relationship WORK. You BOTH need to find out exactly what went wrong and what to DO in order to avoid a replay. WILL and WANT will NOT be enough. I am all for fixing relationships if they can be - but I KNOW humans are a stubborn and somewhat selfish lot, and CHANGE is not as easy as it looks. The FACT that you had a serious relationship while split CAN become a major fighting issue too - if you BOTH TRULY LOVE each other, then find a GOOD marriage counselor and get to work! Good Luck to you both!!
2016-03-15 07:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I blame her for feeling the way she does. I have a hard time believing you didn't know what you were doing. You knew the momeant you decided to step out side the marriage what you were doing. As for the damage it will take time for the wounds to heal. You need to back off and let things lye. If you two are ment to be you will be together again. But if not then you need to accept it and go on with your life. I really hope you have learned your lesson.
2006-06-16 23:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by brighteyes62301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cheated on my spouse and then reallllly wanted to get back together. But, give it a few weeks. Go out with friends. Stop seeing your ex-wife during that time. Learn to just be you. Once you're okay with "you" you'll probably remember why you cheated in the first place. I find that we have bad days where all we remember are the good times. I've had to give it a few days! And, most of all...stop talking to her...
2006-06-17 07:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by spain_105 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knock her over the head and hope she gets amnesia and forgets that she married a lying cheating snake?
Have a testical removed as a display of remorse?
It seriously took you a year to realize that when you are married you shouldn't be getting your dinky stinky by anyone other then your spouse? Hmm....
2006-06-16 22:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by Angie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's better off without you. If you truly thought she was your soul mate you wouldn't have cheated on her once, let alone TWICE. Leave her alone. Stop screwing with her emotions. Let her find someone who will truly love her. You're NOT that guy.
2006-06-16 23:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she cheated once she did again and she will keep on doing it. Think hard about it. Listen to your coscience and be smart. Think of how it hurt you and how it will hurt you if she done it again.
2006-06-16 22:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She still cares for you, but can't go on with you. It was a deal breaker!
2006-06-16 22:41:01 · answer #8 · answered by mxamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you cheat????? Have you figured that out? If so has anything changed? I believe people that are getting all their needs met do not cheat. So again why?????
2006-06-16 22:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by krs451960lovesnlc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask yourself what you weren't getting from your wife that you thought you were getting from the woman you cheated with. was it intimacy? purely physical? etc...
2006-06-16 22:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋