My Wifes Son.... PROBLEM!!!?

Question

My wife's son, 35, was fired from his last job and moved in with us. He's drawing unemployment and isn't looking for work. His daily routine: get up, eat, watch TV, and chain-smoke. I've told him about places that are hiring, but he doesn't go. What's wrong?

Answer 1

He just sounds lazy to me, give him a time limit on when he should have a job and tell him that he needs to pay rent and help with the groceries..

Answer 2

From the sounds of it - being fired, then content at sitting home and collecting unemployment - he doesn't want to work.
I'd sit down with your wife and come to an agreement. See if she's up for setting up a timeline and stick to it. Tell the son that he has X amount of time to find a new job. Tell him you'll help him find a job and a new place to live, but you will not support him if he refuses to move on. The longer he falls into this new "job" of sloth, the harder it will be to get him out.

The key is you and your wife sticking together on this one. Don't think of it as you against him, it's to help him, it's just giving the baby bird a nudge out of the nest.

Answer 3

That sounds like the laziest person that need to be kicked out if he doesnt look for job and all he does is watch tv eat and sleeep plus smoking in your own house. Now this is wrong. Tell your wife about this situation and that he needs a job.If he stills doesnt want to do anything call the police.

Answer 4

Ginny....the problem is the guy is a low-life bum who's getting over on you...because he can.

Give him the big ultimatium---- You have 1 week to get a job, then 2 months max to save up enough money to sit on your own couch, eat, watch TV and chain-smoke.

You're an enabler. Your wife is worse....

Answer 5

Hmmmm...what's wrong? HIS MOMMY'S SUPPORTING HIM and that's AWESOMEEEEE!!! Tell your wife that he's a big boy and he needs to be a lazy bum on his own couch. He's never going to get up if he has no incentive to do so!!!

I would suggest being gentle with her son if he was say....24yo and just fresh out of college, blah blah....But this guy is nearing his 40s! Kick his butt out and make him grow up - he should have done that 10 years ago!

Answer 6

What you and your wife are doing is called "enabling." At 35, he should survive a little tough love. Tell Sonny he has six weeks to get on his feet; then give him the boot.

Answer 7

I take it this is not your son by birth, so there is not much you are probably gonna be able to do that doesn't go through your wife.

Bottom line, if he is sponging, he needs to go. I would suggest having your wife charge him rent.

Honestly, just from your brief description, the boy sounds like grade A loser to me. Force her to boot him. She isn't doing him any favors by sheltering him.

Answer 8

you have given him a place to be and he doesn't have to do anything... So there is no push to do it... think about it at the age of 35... sleeping in till 10 and doing nothing... sounds good, so you might have to change it up, but make sure you talk to your wife about it...

Answer 9

What he needs is MOTIVATION. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that he's in an easy situation - living with mom and her eager to please second husband and he's taking advantage of the fact that he's momma's boy and you won't get between momma and her boy.

My suggestion is to try to make the situation clear to your wife and if she agrees with you, then you both give him a deadline to get out of the house - job or no job.

Good luck!

Toodles.

Answer 10

wow guy, i'd tell your spouse what got here about. at the same time as she unearths out she ought to communicate with your son and he would probable get over it. or you ought to go away the domicile until eventually its mattress time for the baby.