Is shyness psycholgical? How does one overcome shyness?

Answer 1

Psychological or not it can be healed.

Check this site: it is great (and has a download)

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyness/tips.html

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Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia
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Shyness, (sometimes inaccurately called 'social phobia'), affects most people at some time in their life. Young people in particular find overcoming shyness difficult as they improve their social skills. And for some, shyness seems to persist into adult life, almost as if it has become a 'habit'.

Shyness has its roots in self consciousness and usually dissipates as people mature and become more experienced. However, for some it can 'stick', and then action is required.

Although most people think in terms of 'overcoming shyness', it is more likely that you will become comfortable in social situations by learning the strategies of self confidence along with social skills. Then, shyness is no longer the issue, as social nerves will melt away as a new 'habit' takes their place.

Shyness versus Social Phobia

It is my personal opinion that social phobia is too often diagnosed where people are simply experiencing natural shyness. It is perfectly natural to be a little timid in a situation where you don't yet know the 'rules', or what to do. In fact, most people experience some degree of nerves when, say going to meet friends, especially if it is somewhere they haven't been before, or someone new will be there.

We have to be very careful not to assume that there is something wrong with this. Social nerves are natural, as long as they don't get out of hand. Focusing on them and making them into a 'big thing' will only make matters worse.

When learning about social situations, young people need the chance to find their own way, without being labeled with 'social phobia'. This is not to say that social phobia does not exist; I know it does because I have worked with people suffering from it. However, in the vast majority of cases, the solution is social skills training, and perhaps relaxation and rehearsal, rather than drugs.

If a person can maintain a degree of calmness in a situation, then they are much more likely to be able to learn about how the situation works. However, if they are highly anxious and internally focused, both their emotional state and focus of attention will make it more difficult to pick up on subtle social cues.

The other key point about overcoming shyness is that most of socialising is an unconscious process. That doesn't mean you should be asleep when you're doing it (tell that to people I speak to at parties ;-), it simply means that much of human communication is non-verbal. That is, 'it's not what you say, it's the way that you say it'.

If you become highly anxious, this will tend to focus your conscious mind on your immediate environment, getting in the way of those unconscious processes.

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Tips For Overcoming Shyness
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Check out the tips in the article on self consciousness, ( downloaded for you BELOW)particularly the ones to do with where you focus your attention.
Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.


Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?


Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)


Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.
The exercises and techniques contained within the Self Confidence Course should help with shyness because they focus on what to do to feel confident, rather than how to avoid feeling shy.

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Self Consciousness Tips
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So what can you do to change your focus of attention?

A few things
The first thing to understand is that adrenaline and anxiety 'lock' your attention, making it more difficult to switch what you're focusing on. Why? Because if it was a truly dangerous situation (which is what this response evolved for, it would be no good if you just drifted off and started thinking about what was for dinner!)

So, becoming calmer will make it much easier to change your focus when you need to. (See '1' above.)

Learn a discipline such as self hypnosis, tai chi, autogenics, or meditation. This all focus around teaching you to become calmer, and involve taking deliberate control of your focus of attention.


Practice switching your focus of attention on a day to day basis. You can do this whilst walking, sitting at work, anywhere really. Simply focus in on one thing as tightly as you can, then switch to something else. They could be objects in your environment, or ideas or thoughts.

It's particularly good if you do this whilst a little emotionally stimulated, such as watching an exciting TV program, or a film at the cinema. At the most tense moments, deliberately switch your attention away, and don't allow yourself to switch back until you have focused fully on the new object or thought.



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Overcoming shyness is about doing the things that allow you to enjoy social situations, not wondering why you feel shy! Good luck and I hope this article has been useful.

Answer 2

you are in the wrong section. But i will try to help. Shyness stems from insecurity, low self esteem and low confidence. You have been socially conditioned to be shy, maybe because you were picked on, or did not have enough positive reinforcement as a child... unfortunately this has effected you as an adult (you are an adult arent you?) What i suggest is this. First. Realize most people are shy to some degree. Everyone has reservations when dealing with other people to some extent, everybody doubts themselves and has insecurities. You are not alone in the way you feel. Secondly, to deal with shyness you are going to have to be persistent, it is going to take time and practice. Start off with some very small things you could do. smile to a check out clerk and ask how there day is. build up from small to large. Analyze the way you think. Google "distorted thinking" and read up you may be surprised what you find, and eliminate any negative thinking patterns. Third. Be kind to yourself..and respect yourself. No one is going to do that for you. Do not put yourself down. Try not to dwell on things. What has happened has happened and look towards the future for improvement. ignore insults. Remember compliments. If you cant talk to people in real life, find a forum online for people who suffer from shyness. Read up on things you can do. You can escape if you really want to.

Answer 3

Overcome Social Anxiety And Shyness - http://tinyurl.com/BHt3Xik7ro

Answer 4

Shyness usually stems from inner fears and insecurities, being afraid that people will judge you and not accept you for who you are . Peer pressures can cause one to retreat emotinally, like a turtle that draws his head and neck back under the shell .
You must try ways to build your confidance, start feeling good about who you are. Its time to go out into a self journey and maybe really discover for the first time who it is in there ...

Answer 5

in my opinion, yes shyness is psychological...it takes a little "mental work" to get over it...first you need to believe that you're a likeable person...you should build your self-confidence...there are people that can help you with that and some groups too...after that, maybe you can spend some time at places you've always wanted to go to but never tried...try taking risks...like go to the pool hall especially if you like billiards...or join a class...art class or tae kwon do...you might enjoy yourself along the way too...as well as you get to make a lot of friends....after awhile...the shyness thing comes out little by little...it takes work and time...and risks...

Answer 6

Umm... how to overcome shyness... well, just remember that if you're shy--you're gonna miss out on some stuff!!! So take a deep breath in, and just do whatever you have to do!!!

Answer 7

#1 Social Reprogramming Method - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?bHBa

Answer 8

I don't know if it is psychological. I was painfully shy for many years. In fact, I was so shy, when I got a job, I would eat my lunch in the ladies restroom - in the stall!

I was painfully shy, afraid to be around, or talk to anyone.

Answer 9

I am still trying!! Well some say Get Marry!!