Is it okay to tell a two year old his father is dead?

Question

The boy's father is on the run from the police and is never going to return. The child was never close to him and has just now, after 5 months of his being gone, even began asking where he is.

Answer 1

I know most other answerer's are telling you it's wrong, but I feel its okay. If the father is gone for good and was never a big part of the boys life, then why have the boy wondering all his life why daddy ran away from him. Also it would be hard for a child to explain to friends or teachers growing up that his dad is a criminal running from the law. Some things are better off just cut off. You don't want the child growing up with abandonment issues. If the father does return in the child's lifetime he can explain why he left, and you can simply say you were told from so and so that he was dead. Good luck and God bless you and your son.

Answer 2

Do not lie to the child.Just tell him that his father has gone away to an unknown place to live and you do not know where to find him.If he still asks questions then tell him you will explain it all to him when he is old enough to understand things a little better.You never know if someday the boy might run across a man who claims to be his father,this is possible,even 20 or 30 years from now and if you lie to him now,he will probably hate you then if that ever was to happen.If you ever get another man,then be sure to let the child know that this man is only a step father and do not ever try to put off some stranger as his real father.It is also best not to say things about how bad his real father is or put him down in any way around your son because people can change over the years reguardless of how bad they are.God can work miracles.

good luck,god bless and best wishes to you and your son

Answer 3

Don't lie to the child. You can never say never. If you tell the child that their father is dead, and somewhere down the road, the father DOES return, this could cause a major rift between you and your child. Tell the child that you and their father did not get along any more and that it was better for you to part than to stay together, and you don't know where the father is. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Well , just say you don't know because you don't .And tell him about the good of his dad .Really there is good or why did you have child with him ? I use to tell my kids , I don't really know for sure where he is , but I remember when you were born .... and then believe it or not my 19 yrs. son asked can you find my dad ? I said I'd try ( 17 years passed ) .Well his dad was a live and it that state and I called .They met and they didn't know each other and dad couldn't explain well enough why he wasn't a dad . And my son never went back to visit .But he couldn't say mom bad mouth you or much of anything. The situation took it's course . On fathers day I'd say , No Dad ? I think I'm a good dad and a great mom ! And give them many hugs and kisses , saying , I'm so happy your my baby .The kiss ,kiss kiss , did stop as they grew up because " Mom , my friends ! But again as they grew older they'd come home and kiss my cheek and say I love You !" Meant the most on Fathers Day ! "

Answer 5

If he's on the run, it's only a matter of time before he's caught, returned, prosecuted and his image is going to be news. How you going to explain that? And, suppose he isn't caught until the child is school age? School children can be very cruel in the way they break this kind of news to an innocent victim.

Tell your child the truth, or tell him you don't know,, which should also be the truth. If you do know and don't inform the police, you may wind up in the same boat.

Answer 6

No-one should be told that their Mother or Father is dead if they aren't.
You don't want to tell the boy that his Father is a bad person, because he will likely grow up thinking it's genetic.
Honesty is always the best policy, if you fill this child with lies, it WILL come back to haunt you. Someday he will ask. When he does, let him know that, even though his Father would love him very much if he knew him, he had problems in his life that made it difficult to enjoy watching him grow. This boy must not be made to feel like a reject. Let him know he is loved.
I had a similar situation with my girl. I thought her father might be dead, but never voiced it, I just told her that wherever he was, he would love her if he knew her.
When she was 16, he contacted her. I allowed her to decide if she wanted a friendship with him. They stay in touch from time to time. I am so glad I didn't lie to her.

Answer 7

DO NOT LIE TO THE KID ABOUT HIS FATHER.

What if his dad just happens to show up some day??? THEN what do you do? Your child finds out you lied to him, and he will always wonder what else you lied about.

Also- he will tell other people whatever you decide to tell him. Always keep that in mind. Sooner or later, he'll say it to someone who knows the truth and will tell it to him....and again, you are the bad guy.

At two, he knows a little about good and bad. You can tell him that his dad has gone away for now. You don't know where he is, but you will tell him if you find out. It is very important for him to know it had nothing to do with him.

As he gets older, you can add more information according to what he asks and his maturity level. but NEVER, EVER LIE.

And don't be dating or making babies with any other guys. Your son doesn't need other men coming in and out of his life and making him feel abandoned all over again.

Answer 8

You would have a WHOLE lot of explaining to do if that father ever did return for what ever reason. Just simply tell the child that his father is gone or just went away.

Answer 9

No I think a child has the right to know. My daughters father said since he was married he never wanted anything to ever do with her ever. I told him one day when she is ready she will know. keep the fathers name and any family members numbers when the child asks and is old enough it might need some questions answered let your try to contact him. never talk bad about the father Never lie let your child make his own decision.

Answer 10

I don't think two year olds would understand the concept of death OR running from the police. I think I would make up something else that would make sure the child would understand and not be traumatized. I honestly don't know. That's a hard question to answer. I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.