I don't know what to do with my too kind, alchoholic husband?

Question

My husband is a very kind man. But he lives with his bad memories of his childhood. every night he drinks a lot of alcohol and tells me the same stories about his parents and their cruelty. I don't know how to help him. We have a very boring relationship. He can't forgive the others. please help me.

Answer 1

Your going to have to get him help. He's probably depressed and thats why he is drinking. It's sad.
You have done all you can. Take him to the doctor
Good Luck

Answer 2

Sadly, you can't make someone change. The only way for things to change in your husband is for him to want to change. It takes people a long time, sometimes years, of work to put some childhood scars behind them. Unfortunatly, every day that he dwells on his sad childhood and turns to alcohol, it makes it that much harder to recover.

I don't want to drop too much boring science into the discussion, but a persons brain learns bad habits easily and UNlearns them with great difficulty. Every time your husband digs up old emotional memories and feels bad about them all over again, he's causing another scar. It's like holding a microphone up to a speaker, you get a feedback loop.

If you can convince your husband that he doesn't feel good now and that he wants to feel better... Then maybe some counseling can help.

Answer 3

My husband is the same. He also drowns his sorrows esp. of his childhood traumas in booze. He is also a very kind person and loving, and is also kinda boring. You need to tell him the truth. When he tells you the same story, you have to tell him so. It only stopped when I got frustrated with it. Unfortunately, in a situation like this, you have to be his therapist. Because if he's anything like my husband, he won't go for therapy. Although he probably should.

Answer 4

well all i know is that my daddy was an alcoholic for the longest time
and the only thing that got him to quit was when he got a DUI
its the hardest disease ive ever had to watch someone go through
good luck
and hang in there

Answer 5

Your husband needs to see a therapist. They are paid and trained to hear all of his stories. He obviously needs to talk and get things off his chest. I would suggest hooking him up with a therapist and try to get him the help he needs before he drives youn away with it all.

Answer 6

You go talk to the good folks at AlAnon.