I recently found out my soon to be husband was sending naked pictures of himself to other women. Ok, so we had that issue and for whatever reason I have decided to stay with him. I want to trust him again and move on with our lives but its really not that easy. Everytime his phone rings now its like I have radar...and I really don't want to be like that. When I have to screen all of his calls and verify all of his reasons for not being at home then we need to move on. I want to stay but its like I am killing a part of me each day I do..I love him but I have to love me more. I know he loves me and wants to marry me but I can't seem to get over it. Is it that its just too soon or what? I chose to stay so what can I do to not hurt so bad and start acting like the scorned woman??
2006-06-16 16:58:40 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the hurt & anger may go away... but you will never trust him.
And it ain't so easy to walk away from the computer... that will always be in the back of his mind, and even when you least expect it - he'll be looking again.
So if you plan to stay, plan to play the ignorant bride. Kind of like "Don't ask, don't tell". Be prepared to not be respected. Learn how to paint a pretty smile on your face even when you are dying inside... because it will happen again.
2006-06-16 17:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by daddy's girl 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
since you are not married, lose the guy. Sending naked pictures is a sign of a mental problem that will not be cured by marriage. Love doesn't hurt like that. It's not always fun, but it doesn't "kill a part of you each day", especially over trust issues to someone you are not married to. You will be happier in the long run if you cut it off now and find someone who deserves you. Not a fun answer, I know. I wish I had a more magical "here's how to make it all better" answer for you.
2006-06-16 17:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't trust him now...and if he can't do enough to prove he's changed...then you need to move on. The pain in leaving now will be so much less than in a few years (maybe with kids int he mix) and you're feeling trapped in a relationship with no good way out and he's still at his old behaviors and thinks that (secretly) its OK, because you'll just put up with him doing what he wants. Whatever he does now, he'll do more of the annoying and less of the enjoyable things as time goes on. (of course you're going to change too and do the same annoying things - which is why he'll go back to his old lifestyle after time).
2006-06-16 17:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on the same side of the coin, same scenario and I can tell you that if you do not have the love to overcome the insecurity you feel and he does not help quell the fears or apprehensions you have it is too big to overcome yourself there is not enough love on the planet for one person to put back the pieces of infidelity. If they do it once they will again and it gets easier. Only a woman would think of sleeping with another womans man so it is not entirely his fault. The fault he should be responsible for is not helping you through it.
2006-06-16 17:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Truly I don't know how u could ever trust him again..and for him to be sending naked picture's of himself to other women is a sign..sorry to say it but he's sick...but you have to find it in yourself to trust him..it could take a long time to ever trust him again...it's like when the trust is broke....it's very hard to get back...and if he loved you he would have never have been doing that to you...I mean I really don't think this guy is ready for marriage..and you might want to think about it yourself...hope all work's out for ya
2006-06-16 17:07:43 · answer #5 · answered by big10pointers_baby_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him if its like you feel hurt and depressed to the point that you should do all those things you are in for trouble if he wanted to marry you he would not have been sending naked pics of him to other women. Believe me stay with your instincts and get out now. There are so many men out there who may want to get to know you.
2006-06-16 17:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by hotmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really forgive him - in your heart and mind. Once you truly forgive him you won't have these feelings because you will have your trust for him back. As long as you are holding his actions in the past against him you are going to be looking over your shoulder wondering what he's up to. Truly forgive him and make sure you are both communicating with eachother. You also might wanna get into couple's counseling, as this will help address the issue and also help you both to build a strong and happy marriage.
2006-06-16 17:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girlfriend. DON'T MARRY HIM! I have been married for one year next month, we have been together for two years. We had a similar incident regarding "pig" behavior, he lied about it like his life depended on it until I set him up, then he confessed. I stayed with him for stupid reasons and now I'm married to him. I lost trust in him over that lie and the trust has never returned at all. Love yourself! Be strong! And get away from him!
2006-06-17 02:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my take:
Don't think that you're selfish by loving yourself more than you love him. If you have trust issues, confront him, see a counselor, anything but hold it in. Repressed thoughts and holding things in gets you nothing but internal injuries, trust me. If your equilibrium is off, and you're not happy, you won't believe how much better you'll feel if you speak your mind about your feelings, regardless of consequence. If you feel you have something to fear by speaking your mind, however, then you are better off not getting married or being with the guy; things need more work.
2006-06-16 17:08:38 · answer #9 · answered by dujoi84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is you can't trust him. So you need to do 1 of 2 things which is 1. Leave Him for a short period of time. And 2. Suck it up and move on.
2006-06-16 17:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by angelicprincess23602 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋