About 3 years ago, my family have some problem: my father was so abusing while my mother was sick of cancer in final stage. I have no choice but to apply people protection order for my mother, sister and myself. At that time, I bought a small unit - with 2 rooms as a shelter for three of us. In order to look after my mum, I quit my job and have no income. Six month later, my mum was passed away. My sister and I stay together till today. Since the day my mum was passed away, my sister was showing her true colour to me:
- acting selfishly, no sharing (food also),very untidy, no housekeeping at all.
- she is earning about S$4,000 a month, beside the electricity bill ($50), she never pay me a cents.
- she show no interest to communicate with me, we seldom talk.
-she on the TV in high volume all day as long as she is at home.
-Every Sat/Sunday she was out all day till evening.
-She will visit her boyfriend in Malaysia whenever there is public holiday.
I feel so meaningless.
2006-06-16 15:31:41 · 15 answers · asked by Green Leave 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
your sister may just be upset about everything that has happened and especially about your mother passing away...it may not be her true colors, just a way of expression of hurt.....or it may be her true colors? i don't know your sister, so i can't tell....what she does to you is awful....i understand your situation because i have a sister who takes advantage of me too....talk to her about it and tell her how you feel...and tell her that if she will continue on like this, then she better leave because you feel meaningless to her....but talk to her gently, and also show her that you care about her, because it may be just a reaction to your mother's death....i am so sorry to hear about your mom....you are truly a great person! i admire everything you have done...i hope your sister isn't just taking advantage of your kindness...
2006-06-16 21:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by blue_bee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your house, she should help in the chores atleast or charge her rent and the equal share of bills, if not, you have the right to ask her to move out. She is an adult and when will she learn to be on her own two feet? S$4000 a month??? She can rent her own damn room/house/apartment and do whatever she wants with it. Right now, it's your money and she has no sense of responsibility or respect, plus you don't have a job.
Then again, with all the problems you've faced in life, maybe she needs some form of help. Visiting her b/f is not wrong. She's trying to get away from her problems. You need to talk to her.
2006-06-17 07:10:18 · answer #2 · answered by QUARTERFLIP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wait a long time to get married after getting engaged, people are bound to get engaged and married before you. Why is your brother any different? If I got engaged now and wanted to marry in the spring, I would choose 2010. If my FSIL was getting married over a year away I certainly would NOT wait any longer to marry to accommodate her. You are being so unreasonable. As long as the wedding is not in the same month, they have not done anything wrong. I think its wrong to take someones month if you are family or a best friend but anything else is fair game. You dont own the year. Instead of trying to get him to cancel his wedding why not start coming up with all kinds of alternatives? Perhaps call around at hotels and get a discounted rate for your guests etc. Maybe if they stay at the same hotel 2x they could get a good rate the 3rd time? If they care about you, they will be at your wedding, Stop stressing and be a bit more realistic..you cannot ask your bro to change his wedding and if you do, his fiance will hate you!
2016-05-19 22:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say she is earning $4,000 a month. How? She is home
all day and playing the TV in high volume!
You quit your job and have no money - how do you buy food
and pay for daily living expenses? I don't know, your story
sounds fishy!
On the other hand, sell the small 2 room unit - it was your
money that bought it. Move away and let your sister look after
herself. You don't owe her anything.
Have a happy life.
Sorry about your mom. I am sure she did not want you to
be unhappy for the rest of your life.
2006-06-16 15:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is very sad. I think maybe you should go find a new place and leave her high and dry. She would have to take care of her life herself no help from you. Sell your home right from under her. You leaving maybe easier then she leaving. Sounds like she has lots a issues she needs to work out. But treating you that way isn't going to help anyone. Also you didn't say how old you both are. Age has a lot to do with things as well.
2006-06-16 15:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Kick her to the curb. If she was a stranger you probably would have kicked her out a long time ago. The fact that she is your sister and she is treating you like that makes it a hundred times worse. Get rid of her. If she's gonna make you feel meaningless, it's better that she is not in your life. Don't feel bad because she is your sister. The fact that you are sisters obviously doesn't mean much to her.
2006-06-16 15:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by Bklyn7581 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you need to lay down some rules, about the rent and bills. if your not working and shes not paying rent then hows the rent being paid is my question. but it sounds like you both are going through a hard time and dealing with it in different ways. i dont think you should kick her out and i dont think you should attempt to be an authority figure either by telling her what to do. just explain that you need help paying bills. if she refuses then tell her you can no longer afford it and you are thinking you might need to get a roommate to take over her portion of the bills. but remembver this is your sister and it sounds like it might be one of the few you have left,
2006-06-16 16:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by bambi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to start picking up some of the slack (that would be cleaning, paying part of the rent, paying for some of the food, etc). Give her three months to clean up her act. If she doesn't clean up then she doesn't get to live there anymore.
2006-06-16 15:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlin G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're working and can afford to live on your own without her, what are you waiting for? What is she contributing to the home or to your relationship with her? You feel meaningless because you're emotionally exhausted and you're being used. Sweetheart your mother died and you're grieving, you need to take care of you.
2006-06-16 15:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the unit belongs to you,you need to tell her to pay her way or move out.maybe you could get a flatmate to share expenses with you.when your sister has to pay rent etc she will realise what she lost
2006-06-16 15:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋