I'm 17 and my parents grounded me for bein a lesbian. What can I do?

Question

I posted this earlier and I left out some details.
Ok, I've been grounded for 5 months from EVERYTHING! They even took my vehicle I paid for and they are trying to sell it. Mom kicked me out and I'm having to live with my Dad (who I've never lived with completely.) I have 5 more months til I'm 18. What can I do until then to prove that it's ok that I'm a lesbian? Do they think grounded me will change me? The only places I can go is to school and work. I don't deserve this. I'll be a Senior when school starts back and school is gonna suck because I won't be able to hang out. I love my girlfriend so much and it sucks that I can' see her.....it's so sad. We have plans to move in together in November though! Whoot Whoot! I can' wait! `*`I love VP`*`


I am going to a psychologist and my Dad refuses to go. So counseling is not gonna help anything if he don't go.

Answer 1

Sorry to say, but you got some heavy problems. But counseling is going to be a start. NO, NOT for you. Your mom and dad are going to have to step up to the plate and basically say/admit that you their daughter is a lesbian. Grounding you is not going to change your ways. You are gay and that is the end of it. There are several things you can do here. One is sit down with your mom or dad or BOTH and try to talk to them. Explain that you are gay and that's it. They don't have to except it, but there isn't anything they are gonna do except drive you away from them. Second thing is if this is your car where you paid for it, The title should be in your name. If your under 18 it may not be. BUT If it is they CANNOT sell it. If they won't budge on this you can apply to the local court and ask that you be granted emancipation. If the court does grant you emancipation your parent s will NEVER be allow to tell you what to do again, BUT this also means you ARE on your own.

Answer 2

Okay, this sound exactly like something my people would do! +I'm the same age as u and the whole senior thing so, I'm putting myself in your shoes. Let me tell you my people are worse w/o me being gay, so I can kno how you feel. I even tried saying I was gay as an excuse to leave my house to hang wit my best friend, whos a boy which is a big no no. So when she kept saying I couldn't leave the house cuz there was a boy out side, and I had tried everything I ended up saying it didn't matter cuz I was gay. Yeah, that wasn't one of my smarter ideas, the house almost came down. C I know what I would do in your situ. but I don't know your parents, c mines really dumb. I would explain 2 my gf what I was gonna have to do, lie to my parents after day one of the psy. and make some **** up about it was a cry 4 attention or sum and u don't kno what came over ya. Even though it may kill ya inside ya have to be nice and do nice stuff, like chores so they give ya ur stuff back. Then meet cha chick on the side till ya gone from them 4 good. Then as ur on the way out of neva seein' them again, make sure u remind them that if they think sums wrong wit cha go look in a mirror cuz they raised ya, cuz that will just kill them. And remind them that there the reason that thats the last time they'll b cin' ya and your gonna go 2 ya new home to have hot lesbian all girl no dick sex with your GIRLFRIEND, whos the love of ur life. Then punch mom n the face and flip ur dad off as u drive away. YEAH! and 4 the time n between while ur waitin' 2 b free, picture the looks on there faces of that 2 get you through the tough times... lov ya chick, & stay strong!

Answer 3

You have already answered your own question. In 5 months you will be 18, and then all decisions are up to you. Nobody can change who you are, and if this is the life that you know in your heart is right for you, then you have no other choice but to be who you are, and love who you love. As for you being grounded that comes along with being seventeen. If this girl loves you, there is no way that she will leave you knowing what your situation is. You have to (in a respectful way) make your parents understand that being lesbian is what you are, and it will not change. They loved you before they knew you were a lesbian, they should love you now. I think they think like so many parents, that if they are forceful enough, they can change things to what they would like them to be, but their job is almost done they have to learn to let go, and let you live. As far a the counseling, I hope it is for your father, because if you are truly happy with the way you are and the life you have chosen, all the counseling in the word is not going to change YOU, it is your PARENTS, that have to learn to accept, and love unconditionally. I waited 35 years, living in misery, because I didnt want to give my family anything to talk about, my youth has been wasted where i could have been happy. Today I am out strong, and I still wonder how i could allow anyone to dictate the happiness in my life. Don't do the same.

Good Luck Sister

Answer 4

A lot of the answers here say that your parents are ignorant and so forth, and that they should be understanding and so on.
What about you?
Shouldn't you also be understanding of them and their feelings.
Why is it when a kid comes out to their parents and the parents don't understand that makes them bad. Think about it, they didn't raise you to be a lesbian. And there is no scientific proof that people are born gay. So yes, they are confused and do not understand. And just because they do not understand does not mean they do not love you. They are hurt and really don't know what to do. You are being being selfish if you think that you are the only one who thinks this sucks. Just because your dad won't go to counseling doesn't mean you can't still get something out of it. Go to your appointments with a positive attitude and maybe something positive will happen.

(many people,especially when they are young, when faced between the choice of commonsense and a self-gratifying decision choose the later)

Answer 5

Coming out to your parents is always a painful time. Some feel they can change you by stunts like this "grounding" hoping its a passing phase. I came out in High School...and I was student council president at the time and it was with my VP, who like me was on the Wrestling Team. I did not though come out to my parents till I had left for University outside of the country.

Talk to your counsellor...and seek advice. If you have an older friend with an apartment who can let you crash there, it might be a way to show both parents that you are prepared to deal with this and with life.

If not, and your counsellor is no help, most cities have GBLT Organizations...that might be an answer for you. Our community has many resources...use them...that's why they are there.

If you must suffer by being gounded...moan a lot at night...it will drive them nuts.

+David

Answer 6

Wait until youre 18 and move out. Once you move out, the grounding for 5 months will seem like the distant past. Dont run away, I did that my senior year and almost failed. Its sad, but if your parents are ignorant like that then you have no choice but to be grounded. If you argue it may make it a lot worse.
And to the answer before mine, I am sick of crappy christians talking like that... it makes us good ones look bad. G*ds probably frowning at her, going, dont talk for me b*tch :D

Answer 7

Speaking from a Fathers point of veiw that is disgusting behavior by your parents, they ought to be ashamed of themselves.
You are who you are and they should except you no matter what, even if they disagree with your choices.
To sell your car and for your Mom to kick you out is just wrong.
I wish you all the best and hope it all works out for you :-) .
Just remember you are the most important person in the world, so do what makes you happy.

Answer 8

That's a bit harsh. I am serious. I do not agree with homosexuality nor do I support it, but I do not turn my back on someone and treat them badly if that is what they so choose for themselves.

Your mother is awful for kicking you out. that's a bit much. She's your mother and she should love you regardless and she should be willing to sit with you and talk it out like a human adult and you should be willing to listen and calmly give your feed back.

I hope that one day your parents wake up and decide to support you and love you regardless of your choices. I can understand not agreeing with something, but to turn their backs on you and to erase you out of their lives and to take things away from you is a bit outlandish. That's not what a typical loving parent should do and it sounds like your parents should be seeking counseling too and getting advice on how to handle the situation.

I hope that perhaps the shock will wear off and they will simmer down a little

Best of luck to you

Answer 9

If you call Social Services on him, he will have to talk to them. Shedding a little light on his dirty little secret (your lesboism) may break his denial.

BTW, if you paid for the car, and it's in your name, you can sue them for the value when you turn 18. They have the right to sell it, but not to keep the money.

Another thing that you can try is to watch TV with your father and comment a lot on how hot various chicks are and how you'd like to do them. He might get so uncomfortable that he tells you to get the hell out.

Answer 10

Only thing I can suggest is just hang in there. They are obviously closed minded to your sexuality. You may try to talk to them again, explain how they are driving a wedge between you and them and that you don't want that to happen. Parents are supposed to have unconditional love. You may look into emancipation, other than that just bide your time and keep trying. Good Luck