Is it possible men really look for inner beauty in a woman?

Question

I attend school at a major university. I'm an older student, a minority, single with no children and overweight; however, I'm strong-minded, intelligent, vocal, a great heart for people, a bit insecure but overall has a likable personality. Recently, a guy I crushed on implied that he didn't like me the same way and I respect that. Yet, it has made me wonder if he and other men I've dated don't like me because I'm overweight, a minority, and don't really look like today's Hollywood celebrities.

I know it is said that inner beauty transcends, but is this true for someone bigger than a size 10, low maintenance, doesn't have great clothes, and is trying to work on making themselves a better person (inward and outward)? Currently, I've lost some weight and am dealing with my personal issues, but I just don't think there are men out there who'll see my progress. Am I doomed or do I need to look like Halle Berry or Jennifer Aniston to get a guy's attention?

Answer 1

your right inner beauty transcends but, they have to get to know you first.

it is just easier for the Hallie berry types to make friends since there is an initial attraction.

you need to hang out with guys & just be their friend.... down the road you'll meet someone & once he gets to know you then a realationship may develop. you just have to start out as friends first so they get a chance to know you & discover that inner beauty. there are times if you are good friends with a guy that he may have a friend in the same situation & you could be hooked up or maybe even get to know someone over they phone first but, they need to be able to see your inner beauty. just asking some guy out because you know them a little doesn't qualify.

yeah you may not be a halle berry... but, when you find love, you know it will last...

hope this helps,

ss

Answer 2

Yes. It is very possible...as a matter of fact more guys need to realize that beauty will fade with time. If guys are only interested in the way a woman looks so that they look better themselves, then they will wind up in a horrible relationship. As we all know, in 50 years, we just want someone to hold and love. We need a partner that makes us smile and laugh. Beauty is nice but in the end it gets you nowhere.
P.S. I am a 21 year-old guy who refused to look for "the looks" and iI am happily married to a wonderful woman who looks nothing like Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry. Good luck :) and hopefully guys who read this can take it to heart.

Answer 3

Hey, i'm sorry you've had some crushed hearts and have had to heal. Thats really hard, physically and mentally (in my case and i assume in others). But it isn't true that you have to look like Aniston or a super model for a guy to find you attractive physically. There are decent men out there who will find you very beautiful inside and out. Personally, i tend to find physical attraction by my personality attraction towards them. Some men will find you breathtaking if thats how they feel about your "inner beauty". I know thats how it is for me, so there must be others too. Don't give up on men, you'll find someone.

And also, i'm not sure what a size 10 is. But i agree with others who say you should try to eat healthy and maybe lose some weight just because it is healthy and you could live a longer life.

Answer 4

Society teaches to see the outside first, and that is true for both guys and girls. Let's face it, when you see some muscle bound hunk at the beach, your first thought is not "I wonder what books he likes to read?"

Same for guys, when some supermodel type struts past, he's not wondering if her favorite food is Mexican.

I myself am not much to look at as far as society goes. I'm fat, have grey hair, wrinkles and I dress like a redneck most of the time. However, sometimes I'll be somewhere and out of the blue some stranger will say he thinks I'm pretty, or he'll flirt just a little. Why ? Not sure, but one piece of advice I'll give you.... Smile. A lot. At everyone. It improves your "face" value, and it's free and easy to use.

I've been told more than once by guys I didn't know and who certainly wouldn't normally give me the time of day that I have a great smile. I know it seems silly, but if your smile catches his eye, chances are he'll want to see more of it. Besides, it makes people wonder what you are up to. lol

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Your weight doesn't matter to men. However, being a minority is a major warning sign that all smart men know to avoid. It's not an attraction thing so much as we are worried about personality traits similar to anti-social personality disorder. This is very common among minorities and normal people avoid this at all costs.

However, there are easily mitigating factors. If you are educated with obviously good morals and a good family background, nobody will care about the minority thing in the slightest.

Normal people are ALWAYS attracted to other normal people no matter how they might differ from themselves.

Answer 7

yes. it shouldnt matter what you look like totally. I do want to say that personal hygene is a MUST! Its hard to care about someone who doesnt even care about themselves. anyhow, I am soon to be married. And my fiance thinks i am very attractive, but what he really likes is my inner beauty. You can take a room full of supermodels and 1 normal person and have a guy talk to all of them. And I can assure you that he would pick the normal girl over the beauty queen! So I hope this encourages you. You may email me for further help. Good luck dear!

Answer 8

I'd have to disagree with your ananlysis that men only want skinny women. Most men like a little meat on their bones, shoot its more fun for them. As far as being low maintenance, good for you. Some men like a low-maintenance woman it makes their days easier. Though strangley, as a counter to that, they like for you to be dressed up from time to time, go figure.

Anyhoo, as far as being a minority... well... heres the thing race mixing is not openly accepted in America the way people want you to think it is. Men are quite afraid of being ridiculed for being different and will not date outside their race. Its more than possible that your crush at school liked you but didnt want to deal with the racial implications that would come forth.

Not trying to hurt feelings, this is just how I see it... Your time to shine will come and when it does you will be bright!

Answer 9

Looking for guys to attract is not your issue at this time. You are becoming who you will be after your studies are done, then you will know what kind of man would do you the most good. Focus on you now, and how you can be the best you can be. Much better than asking for trouble, which you don't need. Patience, love for yourself, a deep faith in your source helps.

Answer 10

Been there and thought all of what you say. Small has never been part of my description even at the time I was a baby & I'm 56 now. I'm not a minority by race only by the fact that I'm a woman independently making it on her own. Trust me--be happy with yourself and all the rest eventually falls in place. Stop and look at the "couples" are they really happy? Will having a man in your life make your life perfect?