My husband and I have been married only 3 short years. Things started to really get rough between us after the first year. He went to college for 2 1/2 years. I went through 2 pregnancies and we moved 3 times, money was always tight. So there was always alot of stress, Well shortly after the birth of our 4th child he started befriending this woman that he worked with. Shes married too and has 3 kids of her own. Well we went out a few times as couples. I started to suspect more by just the way he acted with her. By the way we were fighting alot and he started to sleep on the futon in the basement. Well at first I found the text messages they were sending each other. I love you this and I need you that. He and she swore up and down that they were "just best friends" I wasn't buying it. They both denied that anything was happening. Well to make a long story short I did bust him having sex with her. I let him go and he chose me and things have been good. But will I ever heal? Help?
2006-06-16 14:26:16 · 15 answers · asked by Freedombrooke 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes you will sweetie it's hard but give it to God and let it go you have done all you can do and now you just need to let God handle it. It's all in his hands now. I dont know you but I feel your pain just forgive your husband and forgive the woman he slept with she will pay but God's revenge is way worst then what you or I could ever do to a person. Get on your knees sweetie and ask God to fix your life and make you the woman he wants you to be and then pray over your household and your husband and your kids as well. I love you friend and most importantly God does I dont all the answers but God does. I trust God is going to turn your tragedy to triumph. I love you and if you ever wanna talk email me at jus_032000@yahoo.com I feel your pain just pray and let God handle it.
Justin
2006-06-16 14:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by Justin D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will probably forgive, but never forget. This is the worst thing a husband could do to a loving and devoted wife. I know because i went through something smilier. Even though it didn't get that far it could have. Time does heal all wounds, but depending on you. For some people its easier and others not. It's going to probably take years to get over, but if you really want it to work out you will. Good Luck and God bless.
2006-06-16 22:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a husband or wife cheats it is the most destructive part of marriage. You will have to ask yourself will you ever be able to trust him again? You can heal and your marriage will last as long as the two of you are in sync with each other again, and your commitment to stay married is what you both want and will work to make sure this happens. In the mist of all this, try to think more about yourself now and your children, think of this process as an step toward strengthening yourself now as a woman, you conquered this hurdle in marriage and you now are empowered to handle any other obstacles you may encounter during your marriage. Never lose yourself in marriage. It is so easy to forget about ourselves because we have to raise the kids, take care of home and be a good wife etc.. Never forget about you and what dreams and goals you want for yourself. Peace
2006-06-16 21:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by yasweetsistah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you heal at all depends. The trust between you and your husband has been broken. The question is will you ever be able to trust him again? In your mind everytime he's out of your sight you will always raise the questions if he cheating on me? You never mention how did their relationship end? did her husband found out? are they still friends? Personally I do not trust a cheater. They have a tendency to stray again. But he's your husband you know him better.....
2006-06-16 22:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will heal if you let yourself. You really need to forgive him 100% and let it go. I'm not saying to forget - but when you forgive you let go of the pain and bitterness you are feeling. Talk to your husband if you need to and if you haven't told him that you forgive him and love him - you should.
You might want to get into counseling to help get through your feelings - marriage counseling would be a good idea too. Both of you need to get your marriage back on the right track.
2006-06-16 21:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but if you want him, you need to find ways to stop thinking about it. I gave mine to her, and they are miserable together now, He choose you because the child support would kill him and he's no dummy. You can only pray on the matter, and hope he don't find creative ways to cheat. The main thing you don't want to do is harass him about it, he'll end up using that as a means to keep a distant, which could be when he's cheating. So, make up your mind to deal with it and keep your eyes and ears open to stop any thing inappropriate before it goes too far.
Wish you luck!
2006-06-16 23:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you really feel. no you cant trust him every time you look at him you see how you was lied to by him and it wont get no better there will be another time he will do this again if he hasent already done it again with others as well in my opion. been there with a woman who did hhe same thing in.2001 . didnt find out till.2003. divorced her . over the same thing you are going throught feel free to e_mail me on this matter this is my real user name
2006-06-17 00:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i doubt that you will ever forget what he has done and i would never trust a man like that ever again... and i fail to see how you could.... but lets get back to the begining.... with such hard times and financial stress and marrige problems... why the hell would you have had 4... not one- but 4 kids with him? you really sound like you have screwed( no pun intended) into a real bad situation. and your husband is a real looser if he lies and cheats. men who do that will do that again down the road.... believe me.. been there.
2006-06-16 21:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by pinksgirlfriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never really heal but i think the best for both of you and ur kids is to move again and start over.
2006-06-16 22:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by Renata 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You caught them in the act?! OMG! I'm a Christian, but in that situation, I might have to start hittin folk.
You can forgive, but it's a choice, although a hard one.
2006-06-16 22:09:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋