2006-06-16 14:14:31 · 31 answers · asked by rhbceb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely...I'm getting married in March. I'm so in love. I thought I was "in love" before but that was infatuation, idealism, or whatever else...but it was not what I feel now. Also, my parents have been married for forty years, as his parents have. It's hard work and sometimes hell; but, as I've heard many times, "When you're going through hell - keep going!" His parents and mine are living proof that it still happens. People just get screwed up by thinking it's all easy and there is no hard work.
2006-06-16 14:17:37 · answer #1 · answered by Scadle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, do you want to file? If you are unsure, then don't, wait until you do feel sure, one way or the other. Secondly, you know that he vascillates one day to the next, so don't buy it--no matter whether it is a pro-marriage day, or a divorce day, because you know that the next day may very well be different. Simply say, uh-huh...and listen to what he says, then gently remind him that he may feel just the opposite tomorrow. How does he react when you remind him of that? Ask him to think about how he keeps changing his mind, and ask him to try to understand himself, and why he keeps changing his mind. Tell him that he has work to do to know what he wants, and that you don't want to hear a definite stay or leave discussion until he has made up his mind permanently. Thirdly---no wait---this advice should actually be FIRST--take care of yourself and your emotions, and the time spent on thinking about his actions. You need to protect yourself should he decide he does want a divorce, so take proactive steps to be ready should he ever truly make up his mind, and that includes planning a future without him, and protecting yourself financially. You also should NEVER let him spend the night until this time period is over, resolved, one way or the other. Attend counseling together, and don't be intimate during this time--because that will only arouse your sentimental emotions and that will make you feel emotional--instead of logical. A lot of work needs to be done in counseling should the two of you try to save this marriage, and a lot of growing up needs to be done on his part--obvious by his vascillating attitude. He also needs to see a counselor alone, and I highly suggest that you insist upon this, and probably see a counselor alone yourself. Take care of Number 1---because I'm not sure number 2 is going to do that for you, at least not during this time in your relationship with him. Don't get overly emotional! Be strong for you. This is a problem--and guess what? For every problem there is a solution. And every problem should be handled logically. That is what the counselor is for--to help you sort through the issues, while maintaining the wisdom of someone who is emotionally detached from the situation. I hope the best for you--whatever that may be.
2016-03-27 18:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I truly love one another. We are both religious and do not believe in divorce. We've had chances to stray but not only do we respect our vow to "forsake all others" we also love and respect one another. He's made some major sacrifices for me, like staying in the Marines and re-enlisting so that I could be stay at home and raise our son. I've made sacrifices for him also. I've stayed in a state I don't know with no family and very few friends, raising our son by myself (he was 3 months when my husband went to Iraq). Here's the real surprise, we got married at 19. Statistics say we shouldn't even be together but unlike most people who jump into marriage, we really do love each other.
2006-06-16 15:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do! I never really believed in true love either. I was a pretty cynical youngster. When I met my husband, that all changed! We have the most passionate, loving, trusting relationship I could hope for! I love him with all of my heart and soul, and I can tell by the things he does for me that he feels the same. We don't have any kids yet, so right now he is the most important person in my life. I truly hope everyone at one point in their life will be as happy as him and I are and have been. God bless your heart for asking this question!
2006-06-16 14:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Aunt Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet your "til death do us part" there is.....My fiance's mom and dad have been married for over 40 some odd years and are still doing everything together including outings, dinner, and sitting on the porch together in the evenings........Also, when a marriage is truly blessed by our loving and caring God, and he is put first in that marriage, there is no choice but for the marriage to last and for the couple to have and maintain real love regardless of whatever negativity's of today's life may enter the picture.....
2006-06-16 14:30:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there sure is, and it has nothing to do with sex, its in the heart i have it for my husband and my husband has it for me. but it is so few and far between i can understand where you get that question, i think the problems with relationships these days is that people think its all about sex well you know its not the most important thing in a relationship, it is communication and when you dont take time to know another person on the inside as well as on the outside you should never marry them because you will probably end up in divorce. thats why dating is so important so that you can find someone you are compatable with and people dont seem to know that anymore. and another thing that is important to me is vows when make a promise i do every thing i can to keep that promise....
2006-06-16 15:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you bet. There is no such things as a perfect marriage, but i think there are many couples truly in love with each other. My wife and I are truly in love. You have to work hard to keep it together in order to get through the rough times and sometimes I think people are lazy and don't want to put through the effort. There are still plenty that are willing too tho!
Joe
2006-06-16 15:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by ur_ave_joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sure.If you look at older people they have been together for ever.They grew up in a time where you leaned on one another for support.Picnics in the park and family meals on sunday.If we could go back to some of the basics and really fall in love with the person for who they are instead of who you want them to be then sure.Love is still around just alot harder to find.
2006-06-16 14:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The husband and wife thing is outdated. No longer necessary in this modern society. That was needed back when there was no electricity or running water.
2006-06-16 14:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by zenyara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am a happily married woman not saying we dont have arguements any good marriage will. It is usally silly stuff though but we have been married for 5 years and it just keeps getting better and better the one thing that is key is communication if u dont have that then it is not probaly going to last long. Just dont go looking for love let it come to you trust me. Live laugh and learn and also give thanks
2006-06-16 15:27:01 · answer #10 · answered by baby_blueeyed_girl_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋