Should I tell him?

Question

i've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months now. Lately I've begun to realise that I dont love him as much as I used to. I dont get that "feeling" anymore. I want to so desperately feel the way I used to feel for him. You know the feeling of when you see him, you get butterflies, or when you think of him you smile, or when you see a couple in love, you think of the two of you? I want that feeling back so bad!! Should I tell him how I feel, or not? I don't want to break his heart! Does anybody have any suggestions on how I could feel the way I used to about him? I know I love him, but I dont know if I'm still IN LOVE with him.

i DO love him! And I care for him! I just want to know if I should tell him and how I can feel the way I used to....and also I admit I'm not that interested in sex anymore and I never kiss him anymore....I'm just not interested in having sex...I just got sick of having it every night. And I want to be able to kiss him willingly, but usually I have to force myself!!! I really want to be with him and I don't want to just quit on this relationship. I feel so bad because I know he loves me to death and is in love with me...and I hate having to "lie" to him when he asks me if I"m in love with him or something. plese help!

Answer 1

The butterfly feeling pass for everyone. That is not a basis to judge whether you are in love with someone. You have to know that relationships evolve. If he is a good guy, you have someone who is great. If you go to someone for just that rush of butterflies, you will find that it doesn't last either. That is how love matures. You are simply going through the normal process of relationships.

Answer 2

What made you fall in love with him in the first place? Could it just be lust you were experiencing all along. "Love is when the lust is gone and the feeling still remains." Don't be so quick to tell him you don't have strong feelings for him anymore. However, what has made you feel this way is it something he has done?? Maybe there should be a little more spice, communication, spending time together. If your going to talk to him do tell him that you have just been feeling weird lately nothing personal or against him, but you just don't feel the same anymore. That you do want to be with him, but just don't feel the same. Tell him that your willing to work on the relationship and want to give it some time before you call it quits. Tell him if there's anything you want him to change or that maybe you two need to work on together. You shouldn't give up until you can do anything more. Good luck to you both and God Bless.

Answer 3

Sounds like there is other interest in your life now. But if not, then decide what you want to do and make a decision either way and let him know. If your looking for fireworks that last continuosly for the rest of your life, good luck. The problem with relationships today is there is no all out commitment. If both parties would place the interest of the other first, most of the time, the reward will be a long and growing friendship. Look for a best friend first and the rest will fall into place. Best wishes.

Answer 4

Hopefully I can help shed some light on your situation with some of my own experience. It is often that we meet and go out with people we have feelings of love for. This can especially be true if you date someone who is first a friend. In the beginning everything feels so wonderful, and what you are feeling is love. But it gets confused with the feeling of being in love. What happens is that the "magic" sort of fades, and you know something is not right. If you have been dating someone for a while, you will know if they are the one because they are the person you don't want to be without, at least this is true in the case of myself and my friends. As a side note, the ability to tell quicker and more accurately if you are in love comes with aging. I have found that it is best to discuss your feelings with your significant other. Communicating your feelings, even if they seem negative at the time, has always helped me in my relationship. Sometimes you can work out the issues together, and arrive at a solution that makes both of you feel better than if the issue is not discussed. By not speaking up, you could be holding not only yourself, but both of you from finding someone to fall in love with. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find whatever the right answer for you is.

Answer 5

In love is just a feeling that real love grows from.
The butterflies go away and either real love remains or it doesn't.
Best to gauge your relationship on the good points rather than grieving over butterfly feelings that never last because once they are gone then comes the time to see if the love is real and lasting or not.

Answer 6

Theres a thin line between in love and just love - and the line kind of intertwines. Love and relationships take work - and part of the work is honesty. Make sure you are sure about what you are going to tell him before you do it - because it is going to hurt him. But if you are in a relationship 11mo and realize this - it's pretty soon in a relationship, it's not like you've been together 10yrs and you lost that "spark."

Answer 7

It sounds to me like your just so used to him after 11 months that the "newness" of the relationship has worn off. Wait, and give it more time. After awhile, if nothing is "butterflys" I would talk to him and see whats going on in his head. Maybe he has grown used to you also and might want a break. Or maybe you both might want to do more romantic things to spice it up! Good Luck

Answer 8

yes, just tell him how u feel. if he really loves you and wants to be with you then he will step it up a little and make u fall in love with him all over again! that actually happened to me n my bf and talking to him made all the difference in the world! honestly i thought that we might have just called it quits after that talk, but come to find out, he really didnt want to lose me and i meant more to him than i thought. our relationship took a turn for the better and it has been great ever since!

Answer 9

It's always best to be honest. The other person may hurt for a little while but in the long run they will appreciate the fact that you were honest and they didn't have to find out some other way.

Answer 10

well if you truly still love him but you don't want to kiss him or have sex then maybe you guys could go and do activities together and get to know the man you fell in love with all over again. sometimes people forget why they ever liked that person maybe you just need to remind yourself.