I am so mad. How do I calm down?

Question

I gave a lady a year to pay my bill for services. Every month I sent her a bill, she ignored it. I sent her to collections after warning her. She calls up screaming at me for sending her to collections. But I waited a year! Now she claims the work is incompetent. I feel just sick to my stomach when we got into a screaming match. Now I'm shaking.

Answer 1

Breathe dude. Don't let her have that kind of power over you. You can't control others, and sometimes people just ain't right, don't let her harm you more by making you so angry. Just let it go, and keep your peace. You'll get paid, or you won't. Not in your control, just don't help her, or count it as a gift and move on!

Answer 2

I don't blame you for feeling sick to your stomach. I hate those kinds of scenes. It appears that you've done everything right. She can't wait a year and then claim the work wasn't well-done. She should have done that right off the bat. She's just trying to get out of paying you. You don't say the amount, but I'm assuming it's within the range where you could take her to small claims court. Make sure you have all your documentation: monthly bills, the warning about collections, sending the bill to collections. She owes you the money. You have every right to collect. I wish you well.

Answer 3

Honestly, I get worked up the same way by people all the time and have a very tough time calming down. I usually find it the easiest when I can do something (anything) to get my mind off of it for a while.

For me, often watching a basketball or football game gets my mind off it because I get so involved in the game. Other times I will watch a movie that I really like or do some work that involves using my mind. Pretty much anything that keeps my mind occupied works well. After a few hours of this I have calmed down enough to think through a rational response to the problem at hand.

Edit: If you are vengeful type you can take a little solace in the fact that the collection agency will probably bug the $#%@ out of her and maybe hurt her credit a little :-)

Answer 4

If the dues are over a year old it is possible that you can take it to court. The details on the work done would have to be well-defined like exact descriptions of what she agreed to have done (which I don't know sincce you didn't say that, if you did I could give you a better idea of what you could do). In some cases you may also be able to claim interest on active debts but in this case it is unlikely. You can also tack on a nice little sum for causing you stress in the yelling fight such as first degree verbal abuse. And if she had to sign any contracts it would be a huge help to have the original one too since you could use that as evidence.

Answer 5

Document the entire affair, leave nothing out, take notes on verbal incidents, gather all of your papers together, if you have a contract, then great. Compile all fees you have paid legal agencies to collect the funds as well. Total up these expenses plus the outstanding balance. Try to remember every minuet detail of the events from start to finish, compile all of your gatherings into chronological order and take this information to your lawyer.

Ask your lawyers advice and what the fees would be for his/hers service...if the fee is not more than the amount your will be paid from the lady then go for it. He will more than likely start be sending her a formal letter stating the intentions of the inquire and the amount she will be sued for. This may be enough to scare her pants off and get you your money. If the letter does not bring about a favorable action from this client then proceed with the advice from your lawyer and follow through.

I am in business for myself as well...there is no reason for this lady to avoid her debt. For her to "cry wolf" after a years time is ridiculous, that is why it is important for you to have all of your time lines and papers in order, this will blow her claim out of the water.

Good luck...follow the advice of your lawyer, they know what cases they can win and what cases they can not.

Answer 6

Just calm down....she is just vengeful and barked back. The collection agency will take it from here. I have lost money in the past to...and I blame myself for not reading people at the start. Now I can sense problem people.....It called learning the hard way. Just listen to some good music to relax.....your work was probably in vain...but I'm sure the quality was superb. Lord knows what terrible things are going on in her life to react that way.

Hang in there...it will get better...now find some music :)

Answer 7

well a year is a long time for a bill to be paid. She should have been responsible enough to pay her bills on a timely manner and then you would not have had to send her to collections...Just take a deep breath and count to ten and that might make you feel better just say to yourself that you did the right thing

Answer 8

Well first of all, you gave the lady a whole damn year. She should be thankful for that. You didn't do anything wrong, you were patient with her so don't feel guilty for what you did. I would have done the same. Now maybe, next time, she won't take advantage of good people like you.

Answer 9

If it was me, I would take it to God in prayer and experience the peace that goes beyond all understanding as I realized that this was just a tiny moment in my entire life and that He would provide for all my needs so I didn't need to worry about the money or about what some person who obviously has problems and a distorted way of seeing things was doing or saying.

"Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:5-7,19

Answer 10

You waited a year to get serious? ouch.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be a "not nice guy".

You chalk it up, write it off the books and move on to learn from this.

Waiting a year places you in a weaker position in terms of collecting.

Good Luck
~Trey