Guys, can you answer this? Thanks!?

Question

I just want a guys perspective on this.My husband met me at the gym and persued me for months.I finally went out w/ him.He did everything he can to make it super romantic.I gave him my virginity.We got married, had a kid.I finisshed school and concentrated on my family & him & got a great job with benefits for the family.Then he got a job w/ the movie studios and started making fun of me with his friends for not having experince in bed and then cheated on me w/ another girl het met on the set.The same guy who used to say I was so "pure" for saving my self for one man.Anyway, I moved out and now he wants me back and he left that girl.What's the deal? I just need a guys opinion since I'm contemplating on starting a new relationship eventually with this other guy (currently my friend) who is waiting for me untill I get it together. Just trying to figure out where I went wrong.

Answer 1

The short answer: You never went wrong. He did.

You gave your heart and your body to someone you thought would love and cherish you forever. He paid you back wtih mental abuse and betrayed your trust.

What's the deal? He's a idiot, but sometimes even an idiot realizes when he has screwed up.

Don't worry about looking back any more. Just look forward and keep your eyes on the prize. You're building a new life for yourself and your little girl. Don't lose sight of that and you'll get through it alright. I'm not saying that it will be easy; I'm just saying that it's the best way to achieve your goals. Good luck.

Answer 2

Based on all the details you provided, it seems that he is not interesting in you after some time in your marriage. Only two of you can talk about what happened and what went wrong.

But I certainly see lack of respect for you from him and that is something you can work on but you will never ever get it.

Try asking yourself if there are any reasons you should be with him. If the only answer you get is "marriage and kids" then you need to make a decision if you can continue to be treated like this. I hope the answer you get from within yourself is no to this one and thats your answer!

I really believe in putting circumstances together and then look at them with an open mind and make a decision. That way you are learning how to make decisions on your own and not depend on someone else.

Similar circumstances have small points which make a huge impact on identifying what the real problem is. If you can get them together that will really help you in deciding as well.

Sorry, I think I just got carried away! :-)

Answer 3

Two wrongs don't make a right! Isn't that the old saying. The both of you need to stop and think about your child for once. At the same time, he needs to do a lot of growing up. Set ground rules for him and make him stick to them. Let him know that one more mistake and you and the child are out of his life (with exception to the monthly child support check). Seriously though, having a kid grow up in a broken home because of your and his inability to work things out or the lack of trying is really selfish. Perhaps there is more to the story though. Have you done something that would cause him to want to be with another woman? These are all things you need to work out.

Answer 4

I take it that you going through a divorce now...After a little time your going to figure out that you did nothing wrong...That's was his quilt coming out...What a shame that's all he could find to get back at you for what he has done...Sounds like you was a very good wife taking care of you husband and child while he was enjoying his self in more ways than you will ever know...He is in the wrong be sure you get enough support to take care of his child...Your on your way smile and be happy..

Answer 5

If this other person makes you happy, then you should move on. My belief is that a person can make a mistake. The trust is gone but if you still love him give him a chance to make amends and rebuild that trust. If you don't love him then you need to move on with your life and find out what life has in store for you and your child.

Answer 6

I know you asked for guys but here goes he should have nobody to laugh at but himself you came into this relationship with no experience so the only thing that says to me is he is not a good teacher. He could have molded you into the freak he would like to have but instead he wanted someone that has been around, tell him hit the road. He is a looser.

Answer 7

i know guys only -- but i think you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. (and you should respect him too).
if this guy/friend you're seeing right now seems to be a really great and nice guy, i suggest go for it.
i know we should not judge cheaters -- that there are "stories" that cheaters do repent and change... most cheaters i've met, they never changed. they would say "they're sorry" but then they'd be back to their old ways. and even if we say that he would not cheat anymore, and he has changed -- it will be uncomfortable because admit it or not, the trust isn't there 100% anymore. (80% is not even good enough).

Answer 8

Your husband is a shallow, self-centered, son of a b*i*t*c*h that has the IQ of a snail. How dare he make fun of your sexual experience in front of others. Clearly its just to make you feel bad and supposedly make him feel superior. And to cheat on you at work as well? My opinion is that you dump this lowlife and find someone that appreciates you for who you are.

Answer 9

Best advice I can give you is to not revisit the past. A cheater never changes their stripes - EVER. You didn't go wrong, except for the fact that you picked a loser. Don't do that again.

Answer 10

I doubt you would have posed this question had you done no wrong. It's easy to blame it all on your husband. I am sure the situation that you described is true. My question is what have you not described here that caused him to act like that?

It always takes two hands to clap...