my boyfriend and i have been together for two and a half years but 3 months into the relationship he slept with someone else.i love him to bits but i refuse to be gullable,since i found out about it a left him for a week and then decided he knows hes been stupid by the way he begged me to come back,since then we have got a baby together.i trust him 90%but there is the 10% that says id be stupid to think he will be faithfull forever.....what do you think i should do,end it now or forget the one off?
2006-06-16 11:08:21 · 20 answers · asked by sanders_sammy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he's more likely to cheat than someone who never cheated on you. However, forgiveness is important, and if he is genuinely sorry and has changed, then I think you can be happy together, and it's not guaranteed that he will cheat again.
I'm a Christian and I don't believe in sex before marriage. I think you should either marry him, if you believe he's changed, or stop the relationship and just parent your child together if you think he hasn't.
2006-06-16 11:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous61245 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being cheated on is the most deceitful and betraying thing that anyone you love can do. The hurt is unbearable and there is no one to really justify it.
I was cheated on when I was pregnant with my first child. Although he says he never slept with this girl and I believe him, i can't help to think he did.
Anyway.
It's hard to forgive and move on. It's been really hard for me and it's been a little bit more than six months that this happen.
You are the only one that can really make that decision. Obsessively you love him, because ya got back together and had a child. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater, but i would never trust my husband 100% ever again. If you love him and he is trying to make things right again, you should to. I mean if you want to. I say give it a chance. At least you can say you gave it your all and there is nothing you did to ever jeopardize the relationship. What do people say, "First time shame on him, second time shame on you." I honestly feel, that they realize what they could have lost and hold and value what they have. He will really try to keep this together if he wants to and you will too. Best of luck to both of you. Hope things work out in your best interest along with you child.
2006-06-16 11:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trusted him enough to make a baby together, why the questions now? Forgive and forget, otherwise your distrust will destroy your relationship. If you expect him to betray you, he will. He made a mistake. Don't let it spoil the rest of your lives together. If you show him you love him and trust him, you will cement your relationship. But if he is always sensing that there is always doubt in the back of your mind, you will drive him away.
Also, it was a very long time ago - 3 months into a relationship that is now two and half years old - come on, think about it, there is much more commitment between you, and a baby too, now.
Honestly, you forgave him and took him back. Now you really really must forget about it.
Hope this helps.
2006-06-16 11:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by fallen angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the opposite point of view to the guy just above. Sometimes it takes a little time for someone to adjust to being with one person. If he's not done anything to make you suspicious since 3 months into your relationship, it may just have been a 'slip up' (!:) cos he hadn't quite settled with you yet. Pregnancy can be a danger spot - I got through all my wife's pregnancies ok even though I'm highly sexed - we did other things - she was afraid to have sex but some women feel the opposite way... my real problems with her didn't start til we stopped having children. I think if you can sit him down one day and be honest about how you feel, how you know things have been alright since then, but it has left you with a nagging 10% worry. Be honest, and tell him that if he ever was unfaithful again you couldn't stand it and would have to go with your baby. But only if that's the truth, as men, like women, can get to know their partners pretty well, and if its not true you don't want to bluff. But if you really would leave him if he was unfaithful again, pick some opportunity to tell him in a sensitive way, revealing it as a hidden fear in you, but that if it happened, he really should know that it would finish things between you as you couldn't bear it. That should help keep him on the straight and narrow if he values you and your baby. :)
2006-06-16 13:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by ricard_noh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you were to say that it happened well into the relationship and he was truly sorry, I would say there was a chance. But good god, he cheated on you only 3 months into it when everything is fresh and new? Sounds like this isn't the guy for you. Unfortunately there is a child, which makes things way more complicated. I wish you the best.
2006-06-16 11:32:27 · answer #5 · answered by bay area curious george 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated once and you forgave him, whats to stop him doing it again. He'll just be more carefull about getting caught next time. If you still have a nagging doubt, then it is unlikely to go away. Don't stay with him for the sake of your son, you have to trust him completely or find someone you can trust. What ever you do good luck. Follow your heart, but don't ignore your head.
2006-06-16 11:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by suds750 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were going to leave him then you really should have done it as soon as you discovered he cheated. I am afraid that i follow the old saying "A leopard never changes his spots", and "Once a cheater, always a cheater".
Now you have the baby however, stick with him. There is nothing you can do now. You need to learn to trust him again but if he cheats again, show him the door.
2006-06-16 11:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you now know that he is vulnerable to these sort of things and you have to keep your eyes on him but not for him to know because he'll think that you don't trust him, but it's not that it's just that you want the girls to know he's yours so BACK OFF!! If he did it once he can do it again, that doesn't mean that it will happen but it's a possibility.
2006-06-16 14:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The oldest saying in the book, once a cheater always a cheater, if he knows you are going to let him get away with it he will do it, you may say you wont, but by staying with him after he already did it once just proves to him that its ok.
2006-06-16 11:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by JOJO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really though question, but if you have already "sealed" your fate, than it could be good to check on him from time to time, but for the sake of marriage and a kid which you two have - do it so it doesn't show.
If it happens again.....well you know what to do.
2006-06-16 11:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋