babies with separtated parents -- who has the right to claim them?

Question

when it comes to separation (be it legal, or not) does the father have a right to gain full custody of his children and what are the conditions? what if the child is around 8 or 9 and old enough to decide who he/she wants to live with -- let's say one of the parent is unemployed, but the child prefers to live with that parent, will this be honored?

Answer 1

Both parents. It is not either or, or neither nor, its both of them.

Both parents have a responsibility to move beyond their own petty vindictive crap and pursue what is in the best interests of the child/children.

I do not believe that a child/(ren) 8/9 is old enough to decide, certainly they are old enough to say and express their desires however the decision making should be left in the hands of the parents. If both parents are mature adults and cognoscente of the child/(ren) needs they both can be primary caregivers.

Employment or unemployment is not a prerequisite to good parenting. Both parents can still be primary caregivers. If there is extenuating circumstances such as after school care, or issues of picking up and dropping off the child to and from school, then arrangements can be made to accommodate that also.

The unemployed parent could come by and take the child to school and also pick up the child and drop he/she off on the days he/she lives with the working parent. Its not a matter of who is better or more available its about commitment to co-parenting and compromising on finding avenues that work for all people involved.

There are always exceptions to the rules, such as...
Domestic Abuse, Incest, Physical Abuse, Ritual Abuse, Etcetera in which only one parent should be awarded sole custody.

Answer 2

Both! They are both the parents and if they want to participate in their child's life they both can and peacefully. The parents are separated, not the kids!
The best thoughts are for the children and their well being.
If a parent is unemployed I suggest they get busy and find a job if they want to support their child. Also, its hard to say a child around 8-9 can be considered old enough to make that choice, the court may decide for him/her. The child shouldn't be forced into choosing a parent to live with when I am sure they love both parents. How horrible for a kid. Basically the judge decides who will gain full custody or Partial custody. I will say that the better equipped you are to take care of those kids, home, job, stability, etc... the better your chances for either parent.

Answer 3

Every state has different and complex rules about temporary custody during separation/pending final divorce. Of course fathers can have custody. What matters isn't the sex of the parent. What matters is the best interest of the child.

A child that is 8 or 9 is far too young to make a choice, and putting a child in that position is emotional abuse. It's an adult decision where the children will live. Don't destroy your child by putting him or her in the middle and forcing him or her to choose which parent he or she wants.

Some of the answers that suggest women always get the kids unless proven unfit are just plain wrong. Disregard them. It's dangerous thinking that can lose you your kids.

Answer 4

I believe that a father does have the right to have full-custody of his children. Unfortunately, the courts do not consider an 8 or 9 year-old child mature enough to decide for themselves. The judges usually will make the decision. However, at times if you have a good judge, they will speak with the child(ren) and may take their request into consideration. Also, the courts will usually rule in favour of the parent with a steady job over one without a steady job.

Answer 5

The majority of jurisdictions consider one factor over and above all other factors --- the best interest of the child when deciding which parent to award primary or sole custody to. They consider who has been the primary caregiver, who has the economic stability to care for the child, day care arrangements while the parent is working, any alcohol or drug abuse history by either parent, any history of emotional, mental or physical abuse by either parent on each other, or on the child, any neglect, and if the child is old enough -- the child's wishes.

I do not believe that a child who is 8 years old would be considered by the Court competent to decide who s/he wants to live with. I believe most jurisdiction wait until the child is in his/her teens to even inquire as to this issue.

It also depends on whether your state is a no-fault divorce state or a for cause divorce state. If you are in a for cause divorce state, then I believe the parent that was "at fault" for causing the divorce, may have more difficulty in retaining primary custody over the children.

Good luck.

Answer 6

The law usually awards joint custody to both parents, an agreement is made where part of the time the children live with one parent and then the other, also one parent may be given visitation rights. The only exceptions are when the court feels one parent is incapable of taking care of the children if will award full custody to the other parent of to another gaurdian.

Answer 7

most of the time it's the mom who gets custody of the child because well they carried the child for 9 months. the court will consider what the child wants but it's not the childs decision. they do look at employement and all that. my boyfriend has two kids and got custody of them because his ex doesn't have a job and she took off to a different state for a while and plus on top of all that while they were in her care they were also getting hurt to where they would be in the hospital. they look at everything and i mean everything. you can get partial custody to where the kids visit you for a week and then go to him for a week or, you could do it to where one of you keeps them during the week and the other has the kdis on the weekend. and who ever has the kids most of the time gets child support

Answer 8

A father would have to prove the mother was unfit to care for that child. It doesn't matter who has the most money! And depends on what state you live in, the age of the child to pick what parent they want to live with.

Answer 9

Depends on more of the conditions. Women always get the kids unless they can be proven unfit. And children arent leagally able to choose which home they want until they are 13. Basically the man stands no chance of getting the kids unless you are on drugs. Its not fair just because a man has a penis he automatically not the best parent.

Answer 10

Most likely the would send the child with the parent who has a job.