2006-06-16 09:58:18 · 37 answers · asked by BeachGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He started calling her 3 DAYS after we got married, and has been doing it ever sine. I just found the phone bills. We live across the country from each other, so there's no physical relationship going on. He says he's sorry and had to wrap up 'some loose ends'. They don't have kids and were never married. I am not an unattractive person, quite the opposite. I have alot to offer and am hurt that he did this and that I had to find out this way.
2006-06-16 11:05:19 · update #1
You need to be tough with him. If you're posting this question on this list, I'm guessing part of you wants to let him back in your life. I think a lot of women can totally sympathize with that. Could you let him know (whether it's true or not!) that you're feeling pretty good on your own, and that you might be willing to think about reestablishing your relationship with him... but he did break your trust in him, and so he needs to show that he's willing to work on things [here it's good to have some specific stuff in mind], and *if* he can convince you that he is, then you'd be willing to *consider* reconciling more fully. But as of right now, no.
The point is that he has to know that his actions from the past have had consequences. Otherwise you're not respecting your own suffering when he left you... and if you suffered, as I imagine you did (and maybe still are) that deserves a lot of respect because it's like having someone die when someone you love betrays you. So I think it's important to not be too willing with him because too much willingness will cut into your self-esteem. And also because if he sees you're acting without a lot of self-respect he may be inclined to treat you that way too. Until he really shows, over time, that he's going to do better, keep a bunch of you to yourself--or to you and your girlfriends.
This might sound like it's a recipe for disaster. But if he's making "i want to come back" noises you might be surprised what he's willing to do. And you also deserve to know exactly what he will and will not do to rebuild your relationship. I hope the two of you find a way to work it out!
2006-06-16 10:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by mae fenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, sorry to hear bout your problem. I would like to suggest that you take some things into consideration before making any conclusion or decision. Did you ask him on why he call his ex ? Do a friendly approach never a offence one. One more thing that you may do is call up his ex. Tell her that your husband is a married man and you want to live a party life that you dont need a 3rd party. If things doesnt work out then you have to backed out, but please do a self reflection before any decision making. Hope it helps
2006-06-16 10:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by Unknown Warrior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with a known liar? Why do you even think it's ok to call his ex unless they are making decisions on their children? Why are you allowing this person to determine what will happen in your life? Are you that low on self esteem that you'd rather be with a person like this than alone? You might want to get some counseling.
2006-06-16 10:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noooooooooooooooo
2006-06-16 10:08:11 · answer #4 · answered by Twilight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he thinks about her enough to call her, and that's wrong! The only way I might see if ok is if there's kids involved and the calls are regarding the kids.
2006-06-16 10:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by honeybaby729 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont take him back, if you do then that would be letting him stomp all over you, crush your hope, and make you feel sadder then ever! So my advice is to be with someone else who can treat you the way you should be treated! And NO its not ok for him...your husband to call you....his wife his ex!
2006-06-16 10:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean he calls his ex? Like all the time or just random times? If he loves YOU he'll learn to put down the phone and focus on JUST you...
2006-06-16 10:01:37 · answer #7 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope thats not cool, if he's still calling his girlfriend theres no telling that they have done. and if he lied to you before thatsmeans that he doesn't respect you and well he probably doesn't love as much as he should...girl u can find urself a better man..as our jamaican saying is, no tree nah grow inna u face so u can get any man that u want.
2006-06-16 10:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by dimples 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not OK and you know that you left him for being a layer and he might even be a cheater for all you know.i understand that i can be hard to be single but its better to be alone that to be with someone that doesn't deserve you.Best of luck and i hope you make the right decision.
2006-06-16 10:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by Veronica r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Chica, if your husband lies to you, how can you trust him? Why does he need to talk to his ex if he has you? Sure, they may be friends, but how would you ever know for sure if he lies to you?
The only way you should consider taking him back is if you get counseling!!
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-06-16 10:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋