What godly punishment after death awaits Catholic who remains married, but continues extra-marital affair?

Question

Would like to hear response from someone knowledgeable about Catholicism.

Catholic wife discovers Catholic husband's 11 mo affair. She informs entire family, has him visit priest for absolution & cut-off affair.

Husband tells other woman (OW) he cannot divorce wife (they have 2 kids) because of duty & moral absolutes (i.e., no divorce). He loves wife, but is not in love with her. He loves OW, but cannot divorce wife. He is sorry. No contact for 2 - 3 mos.

Husband reinitates contact with OW a day after he & wife return from "Retrovaille" weekend (Catholic-based 'marriage encounter' for troubled marriages) which teaches principal that "Love is a decision." He tells OW he has decided to love wife & is trying very hard to do so, but feelings for OW have not changed. He is sorry. More time passes: 2-3 mos.

Husband again contacts OW that feelings for her have not changed. Says love for OW is non-decisional, meaning he feels it without having to try. He wants to see OW again.

Do Catholics consider it more important to 'technically' keep the sacrament of marriage, than the state of the actual marriage itself? If a marriage does not improve, even after one has tried, you just stay in it anyway?

Would it be worse to divorce (because it is a sacrament), than to just keep cheating but staying married? I know both are wrong. But what is worse? What will happen to him after death? Does he still get into heaven because he 'techically' kept the sacrament of marriage?

Would it be worse to divorce than to have an emotional affair (without intercourse but with some sexuality) but stay married?

Is it because breaking the marriage sacrament through divorce is a greater sin than the adultery?

Answer 1

As Catholics, we know that marriage is a sacrament instituted by Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. And so it is inviolable. He instituted marriage "usque ad mortem" (until one spouse dies). The bond of holy matrimony does not just unite the husband and the wife: it is a bond IN CHRIST. This is why it cannot be "undone" while one of the partners is still alive.

This being said, the Church sometimes does allow a married couple to cease living together, for very grave reasons. This does not mean that there is a divorce. They are both sacramentally married to one another, and so neither can enter into a relationship with a third party. However, they are allowed to live apart, if there is a serious obstacle to their co-habitation. This means, though, that both must agree to live a chaste life (abstain from sexual relations with others), unless of course they agree to live together again. The bond of holy matrimony is instituted by Christ Himself, and this is why the Church is so jealous in guarding it intact. She (the Church) does all that She can to sustain the sacrament of marriage and the dignity of the married life because it was directly willed by Christ.

In this case, the husband would do well to confess his sin to a priest (it is a mortal sin if he had relations with the other woman willingly and with full consent and control). He may need to repeatedly confess this sin, but the grace of the sacrament will help him and give him strength. Also, it would be very appropriate that the couple undergo some kind of marriage counselling by a good Catholic marriage counsellor.

Hope this helps. I will keep this intention in my prayer.

Answer 2

Regardless you are catholic, this is what the Bible says in Matthew 5:27-28 about adultery..."You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Also in Matthew 5:31-32 regarding divorce..."It has been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

The divorce part clearly states you are free to leave this man..."except for marital unfaithfulness (which he's done)" and no religion can step over God's word. You are willing to forgive him but he doesn't want to budge...there's nothing else you can do unless he agrees to make it work. He and that woman are both adulterers. God knows your heart and how much you have tried...don't suffer anymore and let God do the work! How can he say he loves you and not in love with you? He's lucky you forgave him, but I don't see how long you'll both last together when he has these "sexual feelings for the OW." Pray, pray, pray...I'll do the same. May the Lord bless you both.

Answer 3

Sin is sin, there are no "little or big" sins. That being said, No one can give ABSOLUTION from anything but GOD himself.

Why are you taking your husband to confess his sins to a "priest" as though that priest can perform a miracle? He can not. At the end of the day, he is just a man who has listen to everyones confessions, and probably has quite a few things that he himself need to confess.

If you want to save your marriage, then you and your husband need to sit down and have a heart to heart. If you baoth agree that it is salvagable then some major changes need to be made.

I personally think that as long as he loves the other woman, you are better off by yourself. Don't let your "Church" bully you into staying in an adulturous relationship.

Answer 4

he will have to answer for it when he dies

Commandment number 7 "Thou shalt not commit adultery."

i believe it is also considered a venial sin the worst sin a catholic can commit most think it is solely defined by murder but a venial sin is any awful sin you are aware of while you are doing it

you could get an annulment through the catholic church thats probably not what you want to do but my father got divorced and re-married in the catholic church

Answer 5

Just divorce him. God is a forgiving God. And the bible says if hes unfaithfull you can divorse him. You have grounds.

Answer 6

if they are catholic ,they are going to hell anyway. so it doesn't matter what they do unless they get out of the catholic hell hole....

Answer 7

hell