I am trying to help my friend. She has confided in me and asked for advice, but I am unsure of what to say. She had an affair with a much older married man at her workplace. She is 25. He is 51. He started out by pretending to mentor her on the job and following her around all the time. He fed her a bunch of lies saying that he hated his wife, wanted a divorce, etc. Those were all lies, but my friend can be naive. Eventually they ended up in an affair where he used her. I told her to break it off and she finally did 2 months ago. But the guy still tries to call her like 15 times a day. He doesn't give up even though she never answers his calls. Now she feels that she should tell his wife. She drafted a letter to the wife along with email evidence from the guy. I think she should go ahead and send it. I think my friend should speak the truth and let the wife know. What do you all think? Please don't tell me to lecture her about ethics since I've already done that! Thanx in advance!
2006-06-16 09:12:23 · 15 answers · asked by Chrissy V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its a Go Go from me! 51 oh please he is old enough to be her father! Dude needs some bashing from his wife! He deserves it! Tell your friend to be strong and keep ignoring him and if he still follows her at work etc tell her to report it as sexual harassment. Once he is reported he for sure will keep his distance!
2006-06-16 09:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pari 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to be careful. There is no way to give the wife proof without also giving away her identity since the proof in in the emails written to her.
I'd do some investigating on my own to figure out what the wife is really like. She might just be glad he's bothering someone else besides her. Or she might just be looking for a reason to divorce the idiot.
Once you have more information, you can figure out the best way to proceed.
2006-06-16 09:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by fcw372003 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to mail the wife with a letter, just charge the guy with sexual harassment in the workplace. Then he will have to deal with his wife anyway.
Once your friend told him "no" about his advances, it now becomes harassment. Have your friend save all the messages and phone calls he gave here as evidence.
Both the company and he are libel.
If you really want to mess him up, then send the letter and file a sexual harassment suit the same day.
2006-06-16 13:00:12 · answer #3 · answered by Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you telling the wife just to get even, or to warn her? Is this guy stalking her? Does she need a restraining order against him? Do they still work together? If so, she could go for sexual harassment charges.
You may want to consider what he might do once she tells his wife? He could become violent. I would just let the matter drop, as far as going directly to the wife. If there are legal issues, I'd pursue those instead.
2006-06-16 09:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, you do not know what will happen if she mails the letter. She should tell the cheater if he does not cease from ALL contact with her she will provide his wife with all the damning evidence etc...
On the surface it seems cut and dry but there could be sooo many other implications that need to be considered. Children, emotional and psychological issues to name a few.
2006-06-16 09:22:21 · answer #5 · answered by frontmann2004 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes i do believe you should spill the beans as long as you have unquestioable proof. I myself went through this exact thing. If someone would have cared enough about me and told me their wouldn't be a little boy in this world that will never know his father. Tell, they will realise in time that you did it out of friendship not hate.
2006-06-16 09:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by babydoll 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the wife probably already knows and even if she doesnt she probably wont pay any attention to anyone telling her about it the best thing i can think of to do is to tell the guy to leave her alone and if he doesnt go the the police and make a complaint against him for stalking and terrorizing her
2006-06-16 09:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by tammy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as a previously cheated on wife (bibi Jerkoff) I would have liked to have known and had the proof to confront him with. The proof will also help her if she decides to get a divorce.
2006-06-16 09:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by qhnurse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a copy of the emails and tell him to stay away or your going to submit this to his wife
2006-06-16 09:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by MFEMF W 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her. I would want to know if my husband was cheating!! Or maybe you wouldn't have to tell her, just mail her the proof she needs and she can figure it out on her own.
2006-06-16 09:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by twinsmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋