Do pedifiles change while they are in prison? He has been in prison for 4 yrs and he has two more years to go. Will he be able to be trusted? I have10 grandchildren to think about.
2006-06-16 08:43:55 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I hear that they do not change.
2006-06-16 08:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by bored in Michigan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you a man can be in prison for 60 years but they are still going to have the urge to do that sort of thing. If it was my ex who did that, I could never forgive him nor would I ever trust him again. Once a pedifile always a pedifile. Just like once a cheater always a cheater. Don't get me wrong some people do change, but with something like that which is endangering toward a child that should never be ignored ever. You keep on living your life caring for your grandchildren and tell him to go to hell. It's best for you and your grandchildren. It keeps them safe. Trust me I know, I was raped when I was 9 years old and it has changed my life tremendously. My fiancee was worried about me at first and didn't know what wasw going on until I got the courage to tell him, then he understood 100%. I don't want your grandchildren going through that terrible feeling in life as I am right now. By not being able to trust anyone, being scared to go out alone thinking it might happen again. Having that feeling of someone touching you in those private areas that only someone special later in life should only touch when given permission. So please don't let them go through that. It will only ruin their lives.
2006-06-16 08:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by jessicabuchheit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say that I know for sure if they could change that easily or not, but I would think that they would need more then just prison to change. I would think that he would have to go through some serious counseling and I'm still not sure if "I" would trust him after that. I would just be very very careful if I were you. I can't tell you what to do, but definitely think about your grandchildren when you make your decision. Good luck!
2006-06-16 08:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...he will need intense therapy. I really don't think that he should be trusted to be around children for the rest of his life. I am sure that the authorities in your state will not allow him to be around children either. You will probably have to keep the children away from him. I know this sounds hard to do, but if you don't, you could risk your grandchildren's well being, and possibly put them in a position to be abused or molested. That would be horrible for you and your family. I would think about there first, not the man behind bars. I hope this bit helps.
2006-06-16 08:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is more important than the mental and physical well being of your children and grandchildren? You can't take a chance that he has not changed. You might try supervised, structured visitation for small periods of time, he might be allowed that under the law, but you can never trust him again.
2006-06-16 08:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a child perver always a child perver. Of course he can't do this in prison...he's probably someones bubba !! Dudes in prison hate child pervers!! It's wonder the dude hasn't been killed.
Why would you let this person or even think about having this person come back into your life let alone leaving or even thinking about having him see your precious grandchildren..(ARE U INSANE)....the very thought of that is like sending a kid to a candy store and telling them look but don't taste or touch!!
Wisen up...you no the answer...yourself..
2006-06-16 08:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have to earn your trust. You say you're divorced so the best thing is to wait and see. Be his friend, nothing more, esp. no sex (at first). If he proves himself, and he seems to be well-adjusted and mature and responsible, then try dating and doing couple things like going to your ex-in-laws for Thanksgiving with him, or vice versa. Your heart will tell you things, and your mind will tell you things. When they agree, go with that. When they disagree, go get feedback from a third party, either someone who knows both of you, or a professional counsellor.
Above all, TAKE IT SLOW. Don't let him pull the wool over your eyes.
2006-06-16 08:48:47 · answer #7 · answered by im_a_fun_nut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not trust him again, ever. If somebody messes with a kid in that way just for some wierd temporary sexual pleasure, without relizing that they are affecting ALL of that kids future relationships and achieving any sort of happiness in them. They probably should not be allowed to be around children at all. Maybe they should be kept in prison for life.
2006-06-16 08:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll tell you he's a changed man, even after you catch him with one of your grandchildren. Then he'll start insisting it was a one time thing. Just a small mistake that will never happen again.
And when you believe that the cycle continues.
2006-06-16 08:48:18 · answer #9 · answered by Nessus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't trust him. He might believe in his mind that he is rehabilitiated, but just like an alcoholic cannot drink again, a pedafile cannot get rid of that feeling. While I believe that people can get better from many things and there is really something wrong with people who do things like that and they need help, I think that the only thing you can do to help them is to keep them away from kids. Help them become productive members of society, but just keep temptation away from them because lots of studies have shown that that kind of thing does not change.
2006-06-16 08:48:54 · answer #10 · answered by cucumberlarry1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care about your children and grand children, cut all ties.
Do not forget, he knows how to push all of your buttons. Pedifiles are very sneaky and can can talk candy out of a babes mouth.
Please don't let him back. Prison does not rehibilitate, it only makes then harder.
2006-06-16 08:50:43 · answer #11 · answered by Imaginer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋