2006-06-16 08:41:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You shouldn't have to win back your WIFE. Part of your wedding vows were to love you through good, bad, everything, unconditionally.
It sounds like something has changed along the way, and marriage counseling might help you two uncover what is going on, how to fix it, and deep down, she might still be very much in love with you, just not sure how to show it anymore... Therapy can uncover the underlying issues...
but in the meantime, continue to love HER unconditionally...
2006-06-16 08:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
geez maybe you should've realized its value when you had it in the first place!! why do men always think they are owed a second chance? someone loved and trusted you, that was a gift, apparently you didn't recognize it for what it was and screwed up and now you want it back, guess what even if you do get it back it will never ever be the same because she can no longer see you as the awesome man she once believed you were, you took that away from her and proved that her belief in you was misplaced and foolish so that is gone forever, even if you do get her back you'll never have that again. you are probably better off leaving her alone so she can find someone who truly appreciates what she has to give, someone she can feel that way about. learn the lesson and take better care of this gift if you are ever given it again. make sure that if you decide to 'win' her back its not something you are doing just so you can screw her over again, lots of guys play that game too. make sure you deserve her before you go hounding her to come back to you. good luck to your wife!
2006-06-16 08:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to marriagebuilders.com and read up.
Communication is #1, tell her you find her attractive, write a short love note and slip it into her purse, pocket, lunch bag - so she can find it during the day - leave a super sticky post-it note on the steering wheel of her car before she leaves for work. Call her during the day and tell her something you like about her or what she did the night before. Nothing sexual, just something nice. You need to go back and win her heart - what did you do to get her to date you in the first place?
When was the last time you had flowers delivered? Don't do a dozen roses at first- find out what her favorite flowers are and send a bouque with them in it - save the dozen roses of a special occastion - birthday, anniversay, valentines day. Send them to her during the day - request an early delivery so she can show them off all day long.
Are you in shape? if not - start working out - help clean the house, dishes, cook some meals - dinner or breakfast. Rub her back or feet while you watch tv or a movie (one she likes) - but do not expect it to lead to sex - that is not the motive here - just allow her to enjoy the action at her level. Take the kids to the park to let her have some personal time. Marriage is a team effort and it takes both of you to work at it. If only one of you is doing all the work, the other will resent it.
2006-06-16 09:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - find out from her perspective why you lost it.
Second - decide if winning her love is the best thing for both of you. If she's already moved on and is happy, making her revisit the past might not be best for her.
Third A) If she's open to reuniting, listen as much to what she says as what she doesn't. Watch her body language.
Third B) If she's moved on, still find out why you lost her love to prevent the same thing happening again in your next relationship.
2006-06-16 08:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by fcw372003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what you did to screw that up.
Is she open for your love? Does she even want it? You can't make someone love you... and you cant make someone give you affection.
Once men learn this, they have their foot in the door.
You just need to show her you are there for her, you will never hurt her. You need to hug her when shes least expecting it. Dont wait for her to ask you for a hug or a kiss. Go to her first.
Leave her little love notes where she can find them.
If you have done something for her to mistrust you... it takes time for that trust to build again. Sometimes years. Dont be angry at her for not giving you that trust back right away.
Try to be understanding. Listen to her. Love her for who she is. Never put her down.
Words are like bullets, once in - you cant pull them out without leaving a scar.
2006-06-16 08:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by Patti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you did to make that love disappear. But a good start would be to sit her down, and talk calmly, explaining all the reasons why you fell in love with her in the first place. Then assuring her by your actions that you still are devoted to her.
2006-06-16 08:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by orangerose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude this is the single most difficult experience I ever went through. Just drop it and walk away there is no going back. I suffered through this for 30 months. I stayed drunk for 6 month straight just to numb the pain. I hope you do better then I did with this.
2006-06-16 08:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by chrome_rider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she's out of love and her feelings for you have totally changed, then it may be a lost cause.....you need to talk with her and see what exactly she wants and needs from you. Not all females are the same ya know.
What we think you could do for her, might be totally opposite than what she is feeling.
2006-06-16 08:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on why you don't have it now. If you acted like a jerk-it may take a while-if ever.
Maybe you should try talking to her and finding out if there is an underlying problem.
Good luck
2006-06-16 08:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By asking for a time when you can sit down together and talk things over. Sometimes it takes awhile to gain trust back.
2006-06-16 08:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋