Gues you thought i was gonna give it up to you
Guess i thought we were gonna stay together
Because i did,
of corse you didnt stay true
So now im left this way...
Now im here wondering what you really meant
When you told me you loved me and we'd stay this way
Maybe its an illusion and im making up what you said
Maybe ifid have read between the lines i would have seen
That you weren't in love but being pleasured
And it was that you loved... But thats so obscene
Because you told me things in such ways
That i felt in my heart
you were gonna stay
I guess its a guy thing
they can lie out their asses
Wat they say doesnt mean a thing
Do you guys get that naturaly
You guys get classes?
Cos ide love to learn the technique
So i could tellyou anything..
kindof short but how i feel
2006-06-16 08:23:20 · 8 answers · asked by Stephanie w 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
he was my first
2006-06-16 08:33:06 · update #1
I LOVE IT!! it is down to earth and very sweet keep it the way it is!!
2006-06-16 08:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by Ali Bags 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got something there. It's not too short. It's got the meaning and the feeling in it, which are the essentials, but I think it would need more work on the form - the rhythm and the rhyme - to be a poem someone would publish. The way it is, it's addressed to one specific person. It kind of cuts the rest of us out of it so we are looking in from the outside and sympathizing with you and disliking the guy, but not really very involved. It might be worthwhile to try another version of it by addressing it to anyone and everyone, so that instead of being a hurtful complaint to one specific person, it might be something everyone could project themselves into and get some relief from their own similar experiences instead of just feeling sorry for you.
2006-06-17 01:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by haroldpohl2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is great. It captures the betrayal you feel from a guy telling you he loved you just to get sex mostly it sounds like. I always wonder why women can't sort out who really loves them from who just says they do. I guess most epople just believe what they most need to beleive at that time in life.
2006-06-16 15:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm
You seem to be very talented and its obviously from the heart. Have you thought of changing it to a song? If you know any body who is good at music maybe they could think of a good tune for it.
2006-06-16 15:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that directed to someone or is that feelings you have from a bad affair? Believe me sweety, chicks lie just as bad as men. I found it out the hard way meself.
2006-06-16 15:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by the_decider 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It gets it's meaning across and that's the important thing here. I can read exactly what you're saying and to whomever you're saying it to, they evidently hurt you. I can sympathize with you 100% and I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject....:o)
2006-06-16 15:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The end kind of gets a little nasty there. Anger issues? Not every guy hurt you. It's unfair of you to include every guy in your hurt poem. I liked it up until that point.
2006-06-16 15:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by Emm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good
2006-06-16 15:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by sesso*E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋