For the Ladies: Am I the only one who is un satisfied wit my sex life?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs. I can say I have reached the big O about .. 2-3 times. I love him very very much... and for the most part Sex is not such a HUGE factor in our relationship. BUT- when the time arises, I KNOW he will be the only one happy at the end. Our "Sessions" last less than 5-10 minutes.. *always*. What do I do?? He knows it's upsetting to me, but I don't think he tries hard enough to please me. I mean sometimes I think it's not a big deal.. but obviously it is.. I mean.. look at me typing this now.

Well I have a vibrator that I use when I am by myself. I dont get the big O but I get something in less than 2 minutes and it feels great. My bf used to give me oral before sex and that gave me the O once or twice.. but now when he does it he says his "jaw hurts".. so I tell him to stop. I am very dominant when we are intimate. VEry!! I take control all the time, and he loves it. He says its " 2 good" thats why he has to "let go " so soon. It never lasts more than 5-10 min. I am very frustrated.. and he comments sometimes how I might be unhappy.. but overall he seems very used to it.

Answer 1

Ask him for more play time. Perhaps he could perform oral on you and use a vibrator on you to help you reach orgasm. The once he has helped you out, you can make love.

Answer 2

What in the world...?

Why can't you just talk to him about this? Communication is the key in EVERY relationship... without you won't get far. If you say you've known him for 2 years, you can definetely discuss your "problems" with each other. And, if you'd like you can let him play the dominating role one in awhile. Try not to focus too much on the "big O" in the end, just enjoy his company... or role-play that will prolong the "sessions" by about 3 to 10 times (instead of starting out and then finishing off right away).

Just be happy with him and don't put a lot of pressure on him by letting him that you're unhappy with what he does. No one does well under pressure. If you'll tell ANY man that you're constantly upset with what he's doing, the "sessions" will not only last 5-10 minutes, they might as well drop down to barely 3-5 minutes. He's doing his best to make you happy, just tell him once in awhile (if you haven't done so already) how wonderful he is and how fantastic it is to be with him, or even how great he feels. He'll be happy that you said it and he'll be greatful for your compliments, just try to say them meaning every word... because unlike women, men can catch up a lot faster to any falsely said compliment or even you being untrue to him (especially in the intimate moment). So, be carefull how you phrase things and watch the tone of your voice, so that way there won't be any problems or misunderstandings. Seeing you happy and enjoying the moment, will give him an opportunity to do / introduce something different and exciting to the already wonderful moment. Just be open-minded and receptive enough to his idea. Don't tell him that it's a bad idea, try and see for yourself if you'd like it. Let him explain, first. If it is something that you've never done before, don't tell him right away that you don't want to try it... just let him know that you're not ready for it BUT you'll think about it. Change the routine or even a place where you'd likely to be with each other in the intimate cituation. Don't blame him for feeling his jaw hurt, doing something very often can make anyone's jaw hurt in the long run. Ask him if there's anything special you want him to do together, that way it'll elevate from him the "responsibility" of doing something of the same accord day-in and day-out. Read either books, magazine articles or watch a movie and see if you'd like to try something different or something that's introduced in whatever you're reading/watching. It'll be fun, relaxing, and joyfull time for the two of you.

Try not to be so dominating, switch places with him and give him a chance to play that role (even tonight). Experiment with something new and exciting, that will take your time for prolonging the foreplay so that both of you will have a wonderful time and have fun. Being with your partner in that special way is NOT supposed to be a chore that you have to finish like race. It is something to be enjoyed and cherished by both of you. In the long run... maybe even tonight, you'll be able to see the difference.

Answer 3

Sex is huge - my advice tell him to learn oral or try harder - if your really planning on marriage - this might not be such a big deal now but in 10 yrs it will be. Good sex is really the most important thing to keep a relationship going. Are you tough enough to do what must be done - because otherwise you WILL be unfaithful, divorced or both. This coming from a guy.

Answer 4

Women never reach the big O as fast as men do therefore he needs to have a little play time with you before you get down to the nitty gritty and then you can reach that moment and then he can get his and both of you will be happier. Look into some toys for both of you, spice things up a little and have FUN. If you feel weird going into an adult store then order over the net. Tabu Toys.com there are lots of other places you just have to check into it. I like to have girl parties like Woman of the World they are on the net also. There is so many ways to spice things up for the both of you. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend complains that his "jaw hurts" while he gives you oral? What kind of boyfriend is that first of all. Anyway, you say you are dominant and of course, that is a very big turn on for men. Tell him to hold himself while he goes at it, like when he is at the point, tell him to stop before he is about to come, so he can hold it back longer and keep going at it longer. Or, my boyfiend does this when he wants to last longer: he masturbates a few hours before we have sex, and when we do, it lasts for almost an hour. It's amazing. See if that could help.

Answer 6

Foreplay is the way to go. Or masturbation more often. There are techniques to help someone last longer as well... Like holding off on an orgasm when you feel it coming. (builds up the tolerance level). There are definitely things to do to improve it, if you tell him and he still doesn't improve...... He's a looser.
Do some research on the Internet. You can find anything and everything on here. Even a replacement for him if you have to.

Answer 7

I have the same problem. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about 9 months. Things started out pretty bad. He would get what he wanted and I would be left feeling frustrated and un satisfied. One thing you could do is take control of the situation. Be dominant. It may stimulate your man into lasting longer. Otherwise my friend gave me this "timewise" cream. You put about a dimesize of it on your palm and rub it on his d.ick and it will make him not be able to c.um so soon. Otherwise just talk to him i guess. good luck!

Answer 8

Sex in a relationship is not the same as a one-time hot night. The key, and I'm sure you've heard it before, is 'communication'. Never mind what you THINK he knows. Be upfront about it. Every man wants to think that in bed he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he'll continue to think so unless you tell him different. Also, you need to know what it is that you need to get you moving, and what he needs to make sex into making love.

Answer 9

i have the same problem. we live 3 hrs from eachother and see eachother a couple days/month. when he first sees me again hes all about it...till hes done. then its like sex is the last thing on his mind the rest of the weekend. it makes me feel like im some sort of sex crazed woman...its frusterating. hes a tad older than me...but damn!!!---i know there are wrinkly old men out there still trying to get some. you always hear about things being the other way around in relationships...guy always wantin it

Answer 10

i feel sorry for you too honey, i had a similar problem with an ex of mine. i was ready to walk out on him for it. i mean something that simple, it really doesn't make sense. he's being a selfish lover and you're probably enabling him. he knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll accept it. it wasn't until i put my foot down and was almost out the door that he started to change! i'm not saying that you need to go that far but don't let him be like that. sex is supposed to be pleasurable for the both of you, not just your man.