Coming out?

Question

i am 14 years old. i want to know how to come out to my family and friends. i've already come out to my mother, but she hates me know. if i tell my father, it will nonstop beating, and i seriously think he will throw me out of the house. i really need help.

i've also told my psycologist but that was no help at all.

i also have 3 sisters. one of them would be the most accepting, but she always find a way to make me feel like sh**. the other two make fun of me because of my gay mannerisms(i.e. i like shopping/clothing, i listen to madonna, etc.)

Answer 1

We are in a very same situation. It is harder for me because I have 3 older brothers. I also have those gay mannerisms that you're talking about. I am 16 yrs. old and I am about to be old enough to live on my own. I am actually going to college this fall. I have been waiting for the moment to come out. I don't have to care if they'll accept me or not. You have a lot of choices in the future. But for now, it would be better if you'll not come out yet. Just have some relationships that wont bust you, just continue on how you handle it for the past years.

I wont advice you on going on your own until you're old enough coz you never know whats ahead. Its hard to go to a war without full armor. For now, get yourself ready, save money, research on how to have $ex safely, and prepare you @nal for the big time.

You are too young and I know that your family wont just say its okay. Just be silent and dont say a word. You have a personal life inside your personal life. If they ask you, say, I'm still trying to figure it out...

Just stay there and be safe. There is no safer place. For now, all you gotta do is do very good grades, save up money and wait. Patience is a virtue. And it'll take you a long way. You just gotta wait a couple of years and you'll have the freedom of your own. Just wait...email me if you need more help.

Answer 2

Gosh....that's a tough one. I know that you feel that you need to be true to yourself but if the situation is going to be that bad then maybe you should consider staying silent a few more years until you can get out on your own. I'm 34 yrs old and I'm not out to my parents!!! Either way you are only 14 and you are dependent on your parents right now for food, shelter, clothing, and basic needs. I'm all for those who want to come out but with kids it's a little different. If you are that concerned about your own well being then I would stay "in" until you are able to support yourself at some point.

Answer 3

Im so sorry your parents are not more accepting. However your safety is importnat.It's a hard situation because you are still very young.I would say don't tell your dad.If you feel it becomes too much for you to handle "hiding" your true self.Talk with a counselor about your options.Be careful as to what you protray however,because it might result in you being taken away from your parents.Good Luck,and know that this does not make you a bad or unworthy person.You are deserving of love!!!!

Answer 4

Hold off telling your Dad you're Gay.

I am an adult supporting and living on my own and I had not told my Dad as of yet.

Search online or to the yellow pages of your area and find support for Lesbian and Gay Youth Support.

You do not want to become Homeless. I had known one too many Guys and Gals that were thrown out by one or both parents when they found out.

You have moxie kid but now use your noodles and try not to tell your Dad anything. I know the feeling to want to be yourself but wait until you are in a safe environment that you can do what you want to do within reason.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

Answer 5

Here's the thing, your personal safety has to come first. If coming out will make your house unsafe for you to be in, then keep your mouth shut. I didn't come out to my parents until after they had finished paying for college, because I wasn't willing to risk my future happiness on how accepting they would be.

I know a trend exists among teenagers (in California, at least) to leap out of the closet as soon as possible, wrapped in a rainbow flag if you can find one. But there's a very good reason so many of us were hesitant about coming out. It has the potential to be a very painful process.

Think long and hard about the possible consequences. You are not old enough to support yourself. If your parents react negatively (as you have indicated they are likely to do) the next four years are going to be a living hell. I would wait, at least until you've graduated high school and can legally live on your own and support yourself.

Answer 6

don't do it. oh my god, that's so sad. when i came out, my parents were okay, so i can't even imagine what it would be like if they weren't. just find some good friends to talk to. and you know, your mother just doesn't understand. nor does your father. nor do your sisters, because shopping, clothes, and madonna are amazing. so maybe you could tell a friend you trust, but sweetie, i'd hold off on your family. you're 14? well guess what, you'll be in college and free before you know it. i'm waiting til then to tell my sister. she'd make my life hell if i told her now, but like, i've got only about 1.5 years til college, so i can wait. best of luck. message me if you want to talk.

Answer 7

Wait until you can leave home and have a place to live. I came out at 17 and was in the military. Just be yourself but don't get yourself kicked out. The streets are rough and you are not of age to get help without repercussions. Find a local gay teen group in your area for support!!! Take care!!!!

Answer 8

I hate to say this but I think the best thing you can do right now is stay in the closet, at least until you aren't financially dependent on anyone else. Then when you are out on your own you can feel more comfortable about telling your dad since he wont' be able to kick you out.

Hang in there, I know it can be tough.

Answer 9

I wish I was your mother, and I'm genuinely sorry for your situation. For your happiness ( if you have much ), and your peace of mind, don't tell your father and find a support group either online or in your community as fast as you can. This is going to be one of the most difficult times of your life. You're welcome to contact my e-mail link if you have nowhere to turn. I'm the mother of 2 teenagers, and may be able to help you find the resources you need to help you get though this.

Answer 10

If you haven't a place you can go then perhaps you should keep quiet.

Besides, whilst I applaud your honesty - why do you want to come out at 14? It's not as though you're an active participant on the gay scene, are you?