Why is my wife so mad? Do you think I'm wrong?

Question

With gas prices being so high, I traded in my wife’s gas guzzling mini-van for a motorcycle. She thinks this new toy is for me, but the main reason I did this was to save our family money. She thinks it's too dangerous to put our 3 month old baby in the baby seat that straps to the back of the motorcycle. She also says there no room to put groceries when all she has to do is hang the
grocery bags from the handlebars. And get this, she thinks her hair will get messed up because of the helmet. Come on now. Once she gets a chance to drive it, do you think she will get over it. She has not driven it yet cause I cannot get off the thing.

I'm I wrong, or just being a nice guy!

Slight typo, our baby is 30 years old, not three months. Sorry....

Of course I'm kidding, I bought her a skateboard and a kangaroo pouch for the kid. 3 month old on a motorcycle. Come on now.

Answer 1

Based on the absurdity of your argument, I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that you're just fooling.

IN that spirit...you should really have bought two bikes. Hers should have been frilly with like a basket attached on a third wheel...don't know what that's called. Can put baby seat in the thing.

DOn't forget to install GPS for the times she's gonna get lost. heheheh

Answer 2

There are so many reasons that your wife has to be mad at you right now. You broke several of the fundamental "rules" of marriage!

1. Big decisions that impact the whole family require joint input. Whether it's buying a new car or house, moving to a new city, having another baby, or quitting your job to go back to school, major life decisions need to be discussed between both of you before proceeding. Now that you have a child, this is even more crucial than ever.

Suggestion: Before you pull the trigger on a new car (or motorcycle) purchase, ask your wife how she would feel about it first. Now that it's already happened, you need to jointly agree what the next step is. Do you keep it? Do you buy her a compact car so that she will save gas (your concern) and still keep the baby safe (her concern)? Talk about it.

2. Respect each others opinions on childrearing, and if they differ, seek compromise. It's pretty common for mothers to be more protective and safety conscious than fathers. In the future, this will probably come up again and again. Should your kid be allowed to play football, or is that too dangerous? Should you allow your kid to play in the street, or is the backyard the only place allowed? These kinds of decisions need to be discussed and agreed upon between the two of you.

Suggestion: Your wife will not tolerate having your 3 month old daughter on the motorcycle. Do not force the issue. Instead, find an alternate means of transporting your child that will make your wife feel comfortable and safe.

3. Trust is earned. Your decision has probably undermined your wife's trust in you to some extent, and for the sake of your marriage, you'll need to earn that back. I suggest that you tell her that this will never happen again. Next time, you will consult with her before making a big decision like trading in a car, buying a home, etc. Tell her that you respect her and want her to be happy, and that although you had good intentions, you realize that leaving her out of the decision was not the way to go.

This is a pretty serious situation - it is an opportunity for your marriage to grow stronger if you handle it properly. Otherwise, it could mean the erosion of trust and respect in your marriage. Congratulations on your new baby and best of luck!

Answer 3

Hey, we all mean well sometimes. But this one needs to be thought out a little more. I'm a former police officer who's seen a lot of car wrecks and accidents of all types. They're not called "DONOR CYCLES" by cops, firemen, nurses, and doctors for no reason. If you get into an accident, even at low speeds, your chances of walking away without some sort of injury are slight, at best. Now you wish to strap your three year old child on the back of your motorcycle to save gas? Ouch! If you told me you went out and traded the minivan for a Yugo or a used, 1992 Toyota Corolla, I'd be right there with you, buddy. But the bike's gotta go. Go back to your wife, apologize like crazy, live in the dog house for a while, a bring back the minivan. Flowers help. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Your wife is totally unreasonable, bordering on lunacy. You have every right to question her attitude. I did the same thing, but I made the mistake of buying a Goldwing for her. How was I to know the bike weighed 950 pounds and might be a little too big for her...I am not a mind reader. And, once you sign the bottom line, you are stuck with the machine... I was simply trying to put some spice in her life, some fun in her day, and save some money at the gas pump. Now, I am stuck having to drive this thing while she uses MY car...and she doesn't take very good care of MY car...I certainly take good care of HER motorcycle...somehow, all this seems unfair. What do I do????

Answer 5

I sincerely hope this is some sort of joke. What crazy person would want to put an infant on a motorcycle? I get it that you want gas efficiency, and kudos to you for getting rid of that gas guzzler. But you could have gone with many different gas-efficient cars over the motorcycle. You're not being nice. It's like when my ex of many years ago bought me a Playstation2 for Christmas. He really bought it for himself. He didn't think about what was best for me. And here, you're not thinking of what's best for your wife or baby or your family unit's needs. Go get rid of that death-trap motorcycle before one of you gets hurt and go look at economy cars and even hybrids if gas is such a problem. And incidentally, it IS a big deal to mess up your hair with the helmet. She doesn't want to go to work or other places looking like she sat outside through an entire hurricane!

Answer 6

you are sooooooooooo wrong. there are plenty of economical cars out there that you could have bought. i'm going to assume you mad another typo and your baby is 3 years old and not 30. it is very dangerous for not only you and your wife but especially for the baby. do you really expect her to be able to balance herself, the baby and several bags of groceries on the motorcycle? i think you wanted the motorcycle and you used the gas prices as an excuse to be able to get one. if you want to keep the motorcycle, you should get your wife a safer vehicle for her and the baby. also, you have to ask yourself what will happen to your wife and baby if you have a life altering accident on this thing.

Answer 7

I like the idea, may have to try that some time in the future, whats wrong with putting a baby on a motorcycle, as long as hes not driving the thing, its all good.

i have a 2 year old cousin with his own motorcycle, he drives that although not legally.

i like the skateboard idea as well.

Answer 8

no u are not wrong but u should also think of the baby first what if u are her is drive it and u have a accident and the baby get really hurt b/c he was not wearing a helmet and the accident was not your fault it was somebody else fault , it will be on your mind forever that u hurted your baby . u should go and find something that do not use that much gas like a honda , or a mini -van that is not a v8 b/c v8 use alot of gas i know i have a car that is a v8 and it drink gas like it is water

Answer 9

Your wife is a part of the decision-making process and although your heart was in the right place, your innate male drive to solve problems quickly and completely forgot about your wife's feelings and the reality of daily family living. Sure, a bike is cool and she may enjoy it, but it's really up to her and if she feels confident to drive it. But unless you have another vehicle to haul your entire family around in and groceries, I'd consider getting a more convenient vehicle because at the moment, your family needs a real family vehicle. When your child has flown you can start thinking about being crazy with your wife.

Answer 10

I see....well, regardless of your "baby's" age (HUGE difference between THREE MONTHS and THIRTY YEARS, dork!), you should have definitely consulted your wife first.
Why didn't you do something more family-conscious and considerate (if you indeed couldn't be bothered to ask your wife her opinions before-hand), and get a small car that gets 30-35 mpg??? Something like a and Aspire or a Hybrid??? Buying a cycle out of hand like that WAS exceptionally stupid and selfish and self-motivated.

You were rude and selfish, and now you're being childish and petulant. You owe your wife an apology....and a REAL vehicle.