my boyfriend is the most sweetest nicest guy...to me- but he is really really bad. he hangs around all types of gang members but denies that he is n a gang. he is also and tries to act tough to hide the pain he went though as a child(he's adopted). how can i help him open up to me and put hisself in a positive enviorment.
2006-06-16 06:46:59 · 18 answers · asked by kandy_kiss16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he not adopted yet he has been in n out off group homes.
2006-06-16 07:06:24 · update #1
He's been in and out of foster homes, this WILL do it to him, people don't realize the damage this causes to a person. Read up on his situation.
He needs to talk to a therapist that KNOWS about these issues, unless they studied it or has been in this situation themselves they will not understand.
He needs to know that you will love him unconditionally.. first and foremost. Try to talk him into counseling with a councilor that has EXPERIENCE with the physiological issues of adoption and foster care
2006-06-16 08:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he is too much the sweetest nicest guy ever if he is in a gang and if he is lying about it then thats not too good. But if you think he is just doing it because of his childhood then I would try to get him some help, serious help. Gangs don't play around and I don't imagine they would take the "betrayl"too well
2006-06-16 06:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Muffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be there for him, all the time. Ask him if he wants to spend time with you after school or on weekends (when he might be with his gang) so that you are what is important to him, not the gang. Show him through actions (maybe words...) that you can be everything that the gang is to him, and maybe more. Once he believes that you will never laugh at him or hurt him, he will trust you and might talk to you more. Each person, however, is different, and some people just don't like talking about their past that hurt them. They might not want to seem weak, or they don't want to be laughed at. Try not to accuse him of anything, but talk to him and show your never-ending support for him. He will love you as much as you love him. Good luck!
2006-06-16 06:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by Breakdancer Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mines comes from a similar background, he's 30 now, mind you, he's the greatest, sweetest, he's out of all the bullshit, excuse my language, but, he needs to open up to you when he's ready, just make sure you tell him that he can tell you anything and what he decides to tell you won't scare you off...be careful for what you want to know, cause the things that I found out, aren't kids stuff, very scary stuff...
2006-06-16 06:50:38 · answer #4 · answered by theodorais 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be very, very, very understandding. Lay down the law with him and let him no where he is going if he keeps playing the dummy on the lap of his G's. Show him his talents and keep him active in, possitive stuffs. And last but not least, Pray to God to keep him safe, ask God to come into both of your life and fill him will the Holy Ghost. And you will have yor Romeo back where he belongs.
2006-06-16 06:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by VERONICA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm happy to take heed to this from you. it would were selfish to abort your baby. in case you incredibly trust that you'll be able to take care of raising your baby, the more desirable skill to you. the mum and father quite do not have authority in this difficulty, however their opinion should be spoke of and seen. only enable them keep in mind that you take exhilaration of their enter besides the indisputable fact that the most suitable determination is between you and your toddler's father. evaluate this, besides. in case you pick to undertake your baby to somebody else, you'd be able to stay with it more desirable suitable than you imagine. you've already determined adversarial to the worst determination. a minimum of in case you provide your baby up for adoption, your baby will be alive and also you've got a reunion with him/her. in case you had aborted, that ought to under no circumstances ensue. Being a figure is about sacrifice. you won't be able to be a sturdy figure and be selfish.
2016-10-31 00:11:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blah blah blah, what are we on? Montel? You know the answer to your stupid question. It's the same stupid response women say about men who beat them "but he loves me, he is so nice, he had a bad childhood etc etc". You can't change anybody who does not want to. Hanging around gangs. Please. Thats the lowest of the low.
2006-06-16 06:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is in a gang.... you wont get him out of it... trust me. that's his FAMILY. Either accept it and accept him as he is or find some thing else for you. In time as he gets older and settles down with a family he'll settle down with the fighting and all but getting out of the gang.... no way.
2006-06-16 06:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jennie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no pain in being adopted, i am adopted and i don't need to act tough.
2006-06-16 06:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRLFRIEND , YOU NEED TO KEEP IREMINDING HIM, ALL GOOD WHAT YOU SEE IN HIM AND TELL HIM WHAT DIFFERENCES YOU SEE IN THE PEOPLE HE HANGS AROUND, YOU SHOULD NEVER TRY TO CHANGE A PERSON, ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND IF HE IS NOT MOVE ALONG TO SOME THING BETTER
2006-06-16 06:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by MS.SUGA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋