im 40 male want to know how i can alter or stop gay thoughts from happening?

Question

i keep thinking gay thoughts i wont go into detail. how do i stop that ? so far i havent acted out in reality but i keep thinking about it .please share any experiences.,,,[e-mail],,,
God bless you

Answer 1

That's a tough one...

I don't think you can actually stop thoughts from crossing your mind if it is something you desire. BUT, what you can do is go to a therapist/counselor and try to learn how to get the thoughts off your mind when they do occur. And how to not act on those thoughts if that is something you don't want to be doing.

Answer 2

This is going to sound mean -- but I don't know how else to put it.

You've already wasted half of your life hiding from yourself, hating yourself and following mythology. Why change now?

You've given away the best part of what you can have. Had you come out as a teen, by now you would have a satisfying relationship and a good life behind and ahead of you. Instead, you let your life be dominated by fear, and even now, at the midpoint of your life as the thoughts get stronger, you are still giving in to fear. That is your right -- that is the choice THE ONLY REAL CHOICE any gay man has. He can live happy, or he can hate himself. If you are gay and not bi -- you still have that choice; but if I were you, having already lived in misery, I think I'd just go on living in misery. I'm very glad that I rejected such stupidity when I was young -- but that was my choice.

You can't change what you feel however, go with it or not -- it will be there until you get too old for your penis to want anything.

God bless you too -- luckily the version we believe in isn't a monster. No biblio-idolatry for me, thanks.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 3

Hey,! its pathetic some of the advice your gettin , obviosly these people have not gone through difficulties in their life yet, or they would not be so judgemental and they say that christians judge, well its always easier to point the finger at others isn;t it. Well they wont be pointing fingers for ever, cause every Dog has his Day,. In order to give you any proper advice i think we would have to know more like have u evr had girlfriend,do u have one now ,are u married , so on And has this been a problem for a long time.? Have you ever been hurt by a girl ? I mean its a pretty complex issue ! But I would strongly recomend that you find someone somewhere that you can either trust or talk to . a friend, a counsellor or go to a spirit filled church and talk to a pastor, or get them to pray for you......

Answer 4

I have to assume you think acting on the thoughts is sinful. So, though I disagreee, I would say that your situation falls into the same category as any sinful obsession.

I have found prayer to be helpful, along with distracting yourself by concentrating on something else.

With sexual obsession though, it always seems to hit full force at night when you are trying to fall asleep or daydreaming. Exercising can wear you out before hitting the sack, so you don't have the energy for fantasy.

I personally think telling someone not to be gay is like telling someone not to be blind, and then making them walk around pretending that they can see to prove they are Christians. But, you have to be true to what you believe. So, I wish you the very, very best in overcoming...

Answer 5

Why would you want them to stop happening?
They are obviously a part of you.
Find someone who knows about what you speak (yes, I'm talking about finding a gay man) and talk about it. Who knows, a whole new world of experiences could be just around the corner.

Oh and by the way, I am not gay. One of my good friends is though.

Answer 6

Why would you want to go against your true orientation as God made you? Don't let society pressure you.

As you have found, it's very hard to NOT think about something. Plus it could lead to some mental and perhaps even physical health problems down the line.

There are lots of people to help you adjust and deal with your orientation. Please don't listen to those who might say you are evil or sinful for just being how you were made.

Answer 7

There is no stopping what you feel from your heart.

You cannot stop feeling attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender, anymore than you can stop breathing. Well unless you're dead.

Taking male hormones will actually increase your attraction towards men even more.

If you think you can bury these feeling/thoughts, think again.

They will comeback stronger and stronger until you can accept yourself for what you might be. Or it just might be a phase and after trying it you might not be Gay. It might be what is called a Homosexual experience.

But remember, "To thine own self be True".

Answer 8

You cannot stop your mind...your mind controls you and it rarly happens that you can control your mind...I don't see why you'd want to not try your "fantasies"...if you try it it'll be out of your system and you don't have to do it again, unless the desire increases...then you're gay, and there's relly no changing that, unless you want to live a lie...

Answer 9

It wont stop until you know if you want it or not so Do it and see what happens if you enjoy it then it wont stop, if it is really awkward and you are uncomfortable then it is not for you and probably it will stop. It worked for me and it was for me.

Answer 10

You cant stop having thoughts on what you desire. It is who you are and you shouldnt change that. People will accept you the way you are if they love ande respect you